Activist Shaneel Lal has released their first book, One of Them. Photo / Dean Purcell
At 23, outspoken LGBTQ+ activist Shaneel Lal is the first to admit that they are too young to be writing an autobiography.
Despite their relatively short time on this earth, they’ve packed in a lot of life experience, which they have shared in their first book, a memoir titled One of Them.
In their teens, Lal spearheaded the charge to legally ban conversion therapy in New Zealand after surviving the traumatising practice as a child growing up in a traditional Fijian village.
Their book has been released during a time when LGBTQ+ communities are being attacked globally and where, in countries like the US, queer rights are being stripped away.
Lal says their story will be a survival guide for the many young teens who struggle with their sexuality and gender identity and will be a reminder to parents to accept their children.
“Queer people are being attacked by conservative politicians and right-wing lobby groups. What we have seen across the world is an erasure of queer literature. My book would be banned in most southern states of the US. They target literature because books hold so much knowledge and knowledge is power. That’s why I have ripped my heart open and poured it into this book.”
Lal shares the same agent as Black Fern, Ruby Tui, who released her autobiography last year. (Tui has also endorsed Lal’s book by saying that her friend is not like “anyone you have ever met”). Lal’s agent convinced former journalist and publisher at Allen & Unwin, Michelle Hurley, that their journey needed to be told.
She green-lit Lal’s autobiography after one meeting with the activist, saying she saw how passionate and articulate they were.
“The most vulnerable and marginalised in our community are often the ones that get picked on the most. People attach their fear onto what they don’t understand,” says Hurley.
“Bookend Shaneel’s fight to ban conversion therapy with what they went through as a child and their story shines a light on difficult issues. Hopefully, it will educate people about the reality of people’s lives and what it feels like to walk in the shoes of someone like Shaneel.”
Lal, who identifies as queer, was born in the village of Nausori in Viti Levu, Fiji and was raised in a Hindu and Muslim community.
They remember an idyllic life of playing games, dressing up in saris, and hiding underneath their neighbour’s home to play with dolls. By the time Lal started school, being different from the other boys became a concern for Lal’s parents and the influential religious elders within their community. Lal says they were forced into conversion therapy to cure them of what the community believed to be wrong and evil.
“When my elders offered conversion therapy, I was already afraid of the idea of what being me meant. They told me if I did not change, my family would disown me, my community would banish me and I would burn in hell for the rest of eternity. The idea of losing everything that I knew and loved was terrifying.
“I went into conversion therapy, hoping that I would change. When I realised that change was never going to happen, I went into a dark place.”
Lal remembers how villagers would mistreat and abuse the only openly queer person in the community, a trans woman named Vicki. The memory still haunts them.
“People would yell horrible slurs at her, throw rubbish at her, spit on her. I looked at her as an example of what my life would look like if I had accepted myself for who I was.”
Lal escaped the clutches of the elders when they moved to the Auckland suburb of Otara with their parents nine years ago. Their new home in Aotearoa was a safer environment for them to discover and accept themselves.
“The move happened abruptly and occurred when it needed to happen. New Zealand has a separation of the state and the church. In my experience, in Fiji the church is the state and religion has the country in a choke-hold. Standing up against the institution of Christianity was not feasible.”
Living in New Zealand, Lal found the courage to come out and accept their gender and sexual identity, which, Lal says, widened the divide within their family.
“All my life I’ve had my own back,” they say.
As a student at Otahuhu College, they became Dux and began to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights.
They first came into the public consciousness while still in high school, when they represented their electorate at the Youth Parliament in 2019. The previous year, they had been selected by Labour MP Jenny Salesa as her Manukau East Youth MP.
They made an impassioned speech about eradicating conversion therapy in New Zealand that went viral. Their presentation received a standing ovation from those in attendance but also drew opposition and criticism online.
Salesa sung their praises afterwards saying they were “representing our electorate really well”.
Now MP for Panmure-Ōtāhuhu and Assistant Speaker, Salesa told Reset: “I am really proud of Shaneel Lal, who was my Youth MP in 2019.
“Shaneel was a Year 13 student at one of our local schools – Ōtāhuhu College – and was outstanding when we interviewed them for the Youth MP role. Shaneel was already a student leader and actively involved in a number of organisations at the time and they went on that year to become the Dux of Ōtāhuhu College.
“Shaneel distinguished themself as my Youth MP with their peers, in the community and in the House during Youth Parliament. Shaneel was an excellent and passionate speaker when they gave their address in Parliament which focussed on addressing conversion therapy in New Zealand and as we know, legislation has been passed to ban conversion therapy.
“Shaneel has continued to be courageous in their activism and in advocating and fighting for the rights of their community, I congratulate them on the award and recognition of their achievements by being named Young New Zealander of the Year. I firmly believe that Shaneel has much more contributions to make here at home, in the Pacific as well as globally.”
The late Georgina Beyer, a trans pioneer, also reached out to Lal to offer her encouragement.
“When I got Whaea Georgina’s call, I was just a random queer kid with no status. She told me that people will hate us but they will never break us.”
Beyer’s words stayed with Lal and inspired them to continue the fight. They chose to push for a ban on conversion therapy as a focus because of the lifelong trauma they had endured.
At 17, they were shocked to learn that conversion therapy was still legal in New Zealand after they were approached by a church leader while volunteering at Middlemore Hospital. The leader insisted that they could help Lal “pray the gay away”.
“When I moved to New Zealand, I thought I had escaped conversion therapy. The fact that my past had now come to haunt me was so terrifying that I wanted to put an end to the practice.”
Lal’s commitment and hard work paid off. The Conversion Practices Prohibition Legislation Act was passed and came into effect in February 2022. The sacrifice came at a price for Lal. Days before the passing of the bill, there was an arson attack on Lal’s home and the death threats intensified.
Winning the fight to ban conversion therapy gave Lal worldwide attention and they received prestigious international and local awards, including winning the Young New Zealander of the Year title. Their win caused their opponents to protest, encouraging a boycott of the award sponsors, Kiwibank.
Lal was among those who called for a peaceful counter-protest against the anti-trans activist Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull when she visited New Zealand in March. An elderly woman was punched in the head during the protest. A 20-year-old Gisborne man was last month granted diversion.
Becoming the public face that opposes these high-profile situations means that Lal regularly receives threats of physical violence. The negative reactions makes them constantly aware and concerned for their safety whenever they are in public.
“Queer people represent a threat to the status quo. So, when someone like me shows up, it disrupts the status quo. They will fight to maintain the status quo and that is by erasing someone like me,” they say.
“I care more about my community than I do about myself. That’s why when people attack me, I do not go into hiding.”
In their book, Lal is open about overcoming these challenges. They also realise how important it was to be candid about the personal aspects of their story, like sharing the first time they became physically intimate with a man.
They say that moment as a 20-year-old was a milestone because it helped them truly accept themselves.
“Part of conversion therapy included associating my queerness with physical pain. Whenever I thought about queer things, I was forced to pinch myself or snap myself with a rubber band. The idea of being touched by another man felt so invasive that it made me feel nauseous.
“But being with another man allowed me to feel that I was worthy of love, I was worthy of protection and safety. I realised that being queer was a wonderful thing.”
Lal is in their final year at Auckland Law School, although they have no interest in becoming a lawyer. They are gravitating to writing or directing documentaries.
“University has been constant and stable for the last four years. I’m petrified of the idea of having to leave. Now, I have to figure out what I want to do with my life.”
One of Them by Shaneel Lal, Allen & Unwin, RRP $36.99
'We have been going backwards for too long,' the cafe said.