It's high time Kate ditched the cheap jewellery. Photo / Getty
It's high time Kate ditched the cheap jewellery. Photo / Getty
If we weren't that interested, we are now. It started in earnest during the India tour, the Vogue June issue photo shoot has given us an extra shot in the arm, and now everyone has an opinion on the Cambridges and who on earth is advising them, especially Kate.
The events of the past few weeks have brought out the frustrated Future Queen Manager in all of us, and this cuts across the generations and sexes, or it has in our house. My dad was an early advocate of trimming the long hair. My husband has taken against the espadrille wedges.
We're all hoping that Kate's Vogue makeover (allegedly the first time she hasn't done her own make-up) will signal the end of the kohl-rimmed eyes, because none of us is mad for those.
Kate on the cover of British Vogue. Photo / Vogue
Meanwhile, there's been some confusion as to why Prince George and Princess Charlotte are being dressed in the post-war style complete with George's tidy civil servant haircut.
Admittedly, I am probably the most invested in Project Kate (so pretty! So badly advised!) but no more so than most women I know who are old enough to be her mother, and at the same time harbour complicated fantasies involving wearing ermine, and hanging out with Prince Harry.
Anyway. With all due respect, we loyal subjects have given the matter some careful thought and here's what she should do, asap:
Wear less make-up
Easy for me to say, I'm not being photographed with a pitiless lens. But I did once queue alongside K Midd in Pret a Manger during the Waity Katie years and it is footlights heavy.
I'm thinking cut right back on the hair and make-up (ponytail! Once over with the BB cream) and you're automatically regaining five hours a week for having fun.
Kate should wear less make up. Photo / Getty Images
No more ethnic fashion themes, please.
What was that about? On official appointments it should be chic, sharp designer all the way and just say no to the Monsoony Top Shop. I'm advising ditching the nude courts, too - they frump up everything.
And the Spanish chignon updo, which is ever so slightly Mrs Danvers. And the midi hemlines, because Kate has excellent pins and she looks her best a bit flirty. And what's with the Accessorize earrings? Wear the Cartier, Kate!
The Spanish chignon updo is ever so slightly Mrs Danvers. Photo / Getty Images
Up the risk factor
Aim for 15 per cent more risk, a tad more mischievous and less demure.
Princess Di bucked the system by not wearing tights, if you remember, dragging royal protocol into the 20th century. Kate should go braless (she does) and wear her heirloom rocks with jeans.
Kate could go for a less demure look as Princess Di did. Photo / Getty Images
Dress your babies better
For pity's sake, one of the top bonuses about giving birth to middle-class children in the 21st century is being able to dress them in delicious Mini Boden. It's the best fun you can have with your credit card.
Someone seems to be under the impression that there is a royal children "look" consisting of Fair Isle cardis, corduroy shorts and button-over shoes, and there was, circa 1960.
Prince George rocking the "royal" look. From Fair Isle cardis to button over shoes. Photo / Getty Images
Spruce up those Kensington Palace interiors
Not suggesting the introduction of an Ikea red leather sofa but maybe one less pleated cream lampshade? An iPod dock or similar? Could they borrow a Hockney? Where is Nicky Haslam when you need him?
Kensington Palace could do with an interior update. Those pleated lampshades have to go. Photo / Getty Images
A pointer for William
Tell William (gently, because he's obviously got a bee in his bonnet) to stop going on about needing to spend time with the children because, TBH, all the parents in the world are thinking:
"So how is that going to play out when they are 10? When they're doing their GCSEs? If he needs extra time now, what's going to happen when the nanny's not around?" It's just alarming for those of us who are watching over them for the long haul.
