Warning: This story contains graphic sexual content
Forget Kim Kardashian's bottom, the internet went into overdrive recently over the reinvention of an old classic: the 69er.
"We're over mutual satisfaction, the 68 focuses on one person driving their partner wild!", the headlines promised.
And guess what? It might just catch on.
I'm all for reinventing favourites.
Favourite sex positions are favourites for a reason: we continue to go back to them because they work on a number of levels, reports the Daily Mail.
But the other thing about old favourites is that, well, they're old.
Most couples have sex in the same three sex positions and even if you only have sex once a week, that's a lot of repetition.
It's not just the 69er that's been given a revamp.
There are new twists on a lot of the old classics - and people everywhere are trading up to breathe new life into tired old moves.
What used to be THE 69 is now
BECAUSE: It's impossible to concentrate when both of you are giving oral sex
The good old 69er finally got a revamp – and about time.
The concept was always great – two people, simultaneously receiving pleasure – but in reality, one of you would inevitably lose enthusiasm and settle back to enjoy what the other was doing.
In the 68, only one person gets pleasure – in a very comfortable position.
He lies on his back and you lie on top of him, heads at different ends, but facing upwards not downwards. He has his head between your thighs, you relax between his thighs, hands on the floor to steady yourself.
Add a few cushions under your head and one under his for complete comfort.
What used to be THE COWGIRL is now
BECAUSE: It makes thrusting easier for women
The Cowgirl is usually up there in most couple's top five position favourites but lots of women find it hard to thrust.
This switch fixes that fast.
He sits with legs straight out in front of him, you lower yourself onto his penis and rather than balance on your knees, squat, with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor.
The angle is completely different and it's far easier for you to thrust (not to mention a damn good workout for the thighs!).
What used to be THE SCISSORS is now
BECAUSE: It's much less effort for same rewards
The Scissors involved lying with heads at opposite ends of the bed, making an X with your legs (like scissors), each having one leg underneath each others. With him inside you, you'd clasp hands for control.
It's a good position but The Scissor Straddle has all the benefits of the original – it's still great for slowing him down if he ejaculates too quickly – but it's less effort and there's more eye contact. He also has his hands entirely free to stimulate you elsewhere.
You lie on your right side, he kneels down, then straddles your right leg. You lift your left leg, so it's curled around his left side, allowing him to penetrate.
Simple!
What used to be THE WHEELBARROW is now
BECAUSE: With you flipped over and him on his knees, it's actually doable
Hands up those who do The Wheelbarrow on a regular basis. Anyone?
If you're 18, both quite athletic and just met, it's a must-do.
Everyone else tries it once, ticks it off the sex bucket list and goes back to more sane sex positions.
The Reverse Wheelbarrow looks impressive and because penetration is shallow, the focus stays on the head of his penis (the most sensitive part) and the first inch of the vaginal entrance, which is where all your nerve endings are located.
He kneels on a hard surface, keeping his back straight, in praying position. You lie in front of him, genitals facing him.
He then lifts your legs up to his shoulders, so your weight is supported on your shoulders. Holding his erection downwards, he penetrates and holds you in position by wrapping his arms around your upper thighs.
What used to be THE MISSIONARY is now
BECAUSE: Penetration is deeper if he's not terribly well endowed
Listen, we all love The Missionary position – and use it way, WAY too often. It's comfortable and easy and effortless but it can so easily be made better, why wouldn't you tweak it?
You lie on your back, he's on top. Now hook your legs up and over his shoulders, resting your ankles on his shoulders.
Leaning over you, he holds his weight on his hands and opens his legs slightly to straddle you, you hold onto his thighs to guide him.
Because it's maximum penetration with your legs high, it's a great way to squeeze him in and make him feel fuller inside you.
A good tip to remember for this and other positions: crossing your ankles (in this case, behind his neck) helps tighten the vaginal canal.
What used to be THE X position is now
BECAUSE: It makes it vibrator friendly
The classic X is just a variation of the bog standard Missionary position except instead of him lying on top of you, he's lying across you, so your bodies make an X (if viewed from above).
It's fun but impractical – most couple find he falls out. Rather a lot.
Side Saddle keeps the sense of the original but sorts out this basic flaw.
He lies on his side, supporting himself on one elbow. You lie on your back at a 90-degree angle to him and put your legs over his hips, allowing him to penetrate.
It's still got the unusual sideways angle, so you both get variety, it's super comfy and – best of all – you stay connected.
What used to be the HANDJOB POSITION is now
BECAUSE: You can both see the action, there's double stimulation and it's easy to do
The majority of people lie side-by-side to give each other a hand job which is uncomfortable for the person doing it and ineffective for the person receiving.
The Snug Hug works much better.
You sit in front, letting your legs naturally fall apart, he sits behind, snuggling in to put his legs over your thighs.
This leaves his hands free to caress your breasts and genitals and puts him in the perfect position to hold a vibrator in place. An added bonus: his mouth is perfectly positioned to nibble your neck.
She never told them the five-course meal was vegan. So a cousin decided to act.