Movies are great. Martin Scorsese said they represent a quest for the common unconscious. There are also hot people in them and things explode with reasonable frequency. The only downside is that other people go to movies too. Here are five people who might be sharing your common unconscious - whether you like it or not.
The Auteur
Sipping her syrah, she has probably already said the word cinema several times in the lobby and will be a little bit disappointed when the lights go down and she'll have to stop saying it. When the film starts, there's more acting from her seat than on the screen: she leans forward, a frown creasing her brow. After 10 minutes she sighs loudly, leaning back, a picture of disdain. The rest of the audience sits guiltily, wondering why they're still enjoying something so clearly awful.
The Texter
The movie equivalent of aiming lasers at airline pilots, texters burn out your retinas with their busy phone screens. Our reptilian brains, so well-equipped to appreciate Bruce Willis, are terrible at ignoring a rogue light down the row. But the texter is a victim too, so busy and important that 90 minutes without typing "tru dat" would end him. "Seein a movie" he tweets bravely into the darkness. Lol.