Royal wedding: Reverent but plenty of crazy talk on the box

How many of those big hats were satellite dishes? There were enough TV broadcasts of the royal wedding on Friday night to warrant aid from celebrity milliners. Princess Beatrice must have been beaming to the moon with her oversized Philip Treacy number.

The blanket coverage made it difficult to know where to start, particularly for those with Sky. TV One's Wendy Petrie, Mark Sainsbury and Petra Bagust had been in London all week gathering trivial missives to deliver at excited speed outside Buckingham Palace. They yabbered away skilfully, talking wedding logistics, security, conveying the general atmosphere, but inevitably struck the same problem every commentator covering this event had already encountered: what more can we say about Wills and Kate? They weren't paid to be cynical of course; they were there to fill the gaps between the ads. There were lots of ads. Let's hope that's what paid for the presenters to get to London.

TV3, meanwhile, had promised light-hearted coverage, but in contrast to a giddy Petrie, resplendent in red velvet, John Campbell's panel looked sorry not to be there. It was an odd line-up: Jeremy Wells quipping about "brass rubbings", but mostly looking as if he was sorely missing the Breakers game, an animated Wendyl Nissen doing her bit for nationwide royal drinking games and Louise Wallace with her Weakest Link face on.

Their blather was really no different to what was going on in homes around the country. They cut to reporter Ali Ikram with a cardboard corgi under his arm doing his best to keep a straight face as he interviewed the earnest head of Monarchy NZ. It was only when Campbell cut to Hillary Barry outside Buckingham Palace that the mood lifted. Mostly because Barry had a puffy dress on that made even her laugh. TV3's graphics team outdid themselves with a fancy map of Kate's journey to Westminster.

UKTV provided the best, mostly serious uninterrupted build-up, as the E! Channel cut between the posh and the tacky. During The Event itself, the commentators finally shut up and let the pictures do the talking. And they were great pictures, cameras loyally following the procession of cars through London's streets to Westminster Abbey, and capturing the bride as she arrived and began her graceful long walk up the red carpet.

It didn't matter how esteemed the broadcaster; everyone was infected with crazy talk. "I am beside myself," gushed a BBC reporter via TV One. "This is such a fashion moment." Sky News' commentator: "It's making a lot of us feel very slushy."

BBC and ITV (via TV3) broadcast from inside the Abbey - there were fantastic aerial shots of all those satellite hats, and the choral music sounded amazing. Celebrity faces went unreported as the cameras fell briefly on Posh 'n' Becks, Sir Elton and David, Olympian Ian Thorpe and other such small fry.

It was better than your average wedding video, with plenty of "aww" moments: Prince Harry cheekily turning to look as Kate came up the aisle, Prince William whispering "you look beautiful" in his bride's ear, the ring getting stuck as it went on her finger.

There were boring bits. But while the Archbishop was in full flight you might have discussed Kate's dress. Though beautiful, it was so conservative it looked as though it had been designed purely not to offend. A bit like the coverage, really. All-encompassing, respectful and really long.