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Home / Lifestyle

Romance still flutters in teens digital love life

Washington Post
2 Oct, 2015 08:30 PM3 mins to read

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Many teen daters have used online messages or texts to resolve arguments (48 per cent) . Photo / Getty Images

Many teen daters have used online messages or texts to resolve arguments (48 per cent) . Photo / Getty Images

Ah, young love. Many of us may remember the intensity and ecstasy of puppy love.

But how have those relationships changed in an era of constant communication, oversharing and emoji?

A new study by the Pew Research Centre has explored how social media and technology weave into every stage of the dating process, from flirting to break-up.

There's a lot of digital flirting going on - one boy said his way of flirting was to put "a bunch of emojis" under a girl's photo.

But asking someone out in person is still the most common way to start a relationship.

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More than three-quarters of teens said they've never gone out with someone they initially met online, though a quarter did admit they have dated (or hooked up) with people they met online.

One thing seems certain: if Romeo and Juliet had carried out their romance today, they probably would have avoided their catastrophic communication breakdown.

Thirty-eight per cent of teens who date expect to hear from their partners at least once a day; 11 per cent expect to hear from their partner every hour.

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That doesn't mean, however, that teens necessarily enjoy this constant communication.

Many teen daters have used online messages or texts to resolve arguments (48 per cent) or simply engage in conversations that make them feel closer (70 per cent).

But 43 per cent have also experienced times when they thought their partner was distracted by his or her gadgets.

The study also explored questions of gender differences.

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Girls, for example, are much more likely to experience unwanted flirting, mirroring another Pew finding that women are more likely to be the victims of online harassment.

Both male and female teens, however, reported times when partners have crossed the line.

Online tools can also exacerbate jealous tendencies, the study found, and 69 per cent of teens reported that they think social media in particular give too many people a window into their private lives.

Many teens told researchers that pressure to post about their relationships made them present a less authentic picture of their lives.

Others said they stayed away from posting too much about their dating lives because it leads to "drama".

One teen said it was because "more people ask questions and stuff like that".

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Digital communication plays a role at the end of relationships too, researchers found, but in some ways, teens were surprisingly traditional about splitting.

Yes, there were some teens -- 7 per cent of each gender -- who think it's fine to break up with someone by proxy or by simply changing your social media status to "single". (That's cold, kids.)

But 78 per cent said the "most socially acceptable way" to break up with someone is by telling that person to his or her face, far outstripping other options such as over the phone, by text message, or by social media message.

Though teens reported breaking up (or having been broken up with) via all of those methods.

The effect technology has had on teens' social lives is far from black and white.

But even in the new swipe-left era of dating, tech hasn't killed off all romance quite yet, either.

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