Are you a Clooney, a Gosling or a Connery? Photo / AP
Are you a Clooney, a Gosling or a Connery? Photo / AP
OPINION:
"Have you been away?" It's the question ringing out across offices up and down the US as people filter back to work after the August sojourn. And with most of us a little sunkissed – whether you've been in Positano or Padstow – everyone's looking a tad more healthy. Gen Z would call it a "glow up". I speak from experience; 10 months of the year I have a pallor best described as "underside of newborn fish", but owing to some Irish "people-of-the-fields" ancestry I turn a tad more tawny in the sun. Time was when a man tan was the stuff of cheesy daytime TV presenters, so brilliantly pastiched in Bridget Jones' Diary by the mahoganied Lothario that seduces her mother.
It's been a summer of man tans; Ryan Gosling playing Ken in the new Barbie movie, Ben Affleck marrying J.Lo with a glowing visage, Love Island contestants offsetting their golden hues with questionable white trousers and too-tight shirts, David Beckham, Leo DiCaprio and various celebrities uploading their holiday goings-on to Instagram.
The man tan's got a bad rep – for good reason – thanks to terrible attempts at fakery. No stranger to being a fake, Donald Trump is the nadir in this respect – smears of cakey foundation missing his ears and hairline; take pity on whoever has to wash his shirts. See also Silvio Berlusconi, 85, marrying his 32-year old bride recently with a creosote visage. But it only takes a glance of tanned-in-a-tux George Clooney to make you think that a touch of fake tanning might be worth a whirl.
"I don't want to look like Ross from Friends," is what tanning specialist James Read hears most from men, who are scarred by the famous scene where the character turns a deep shade of copper thanks to a fake tanning mishap.
Read – who has helped finesse the skin tones of Richard Madden, Taron Egerton and Ben Affleck – has some advice on men eager to explore a healthier look. "Things changed around five years ago when products became more sophisticated and the language changed from 'self tanning' to 'healthy glow'." Some 40 per cent of Read's sales are from men and they tend to spend more per product than women. Men differ from women in that their stubble can cause problems with a fake tan – the actor Bradley Cooper was widely ridiculed years ago when he failed to apply it to his pale jawline – but Read recommends a spray mist to negate this.
Ryan Gosling's appearance - and striking tan - in the upcoming Barbie film is certainly a look. Photo / Twitter @WBPictures
Certainly, the industry's booming – sales rose by 6 per cent in the last year, Tom Ford's Bronzing Gel is one of its best sellers and today a host of men's moisturisers come with a tint. It is, says Read, a way to look younger without veering into invasive treatments.
"They want to look less tired, make their dark circles less prominent, and give a lift," he says. It's also widely documented that in times of recession and competitive job markets, men spend more on products to make themselves look more youthful and dynamic.
When we're more aware than ever about the dangers of sun exposure, it makes sense to opt for a synthetic tan. That said, there's something about a healthy, all-over effect that appeals, a tinge that nods to that moment when you've got a poolside glow and a glass of chilled rose in hand. If you're eager to tan the way nature intended, stick to an SPF – or a moisturiser with SPF in it – of more than 30, and don't forget if you're thin of hair, your head needs a good application too - many men tend to forget.
So, with all that in mind, what sort of tan have you got? It reveals more about your lifestyle than you think ...
The posh tan
Whether it's keeping an eye on the grouse moor or catching up with your groundsman, you've got a healthy glow from your rambles around the estate – who knew Norfolk could be so sun-drenched? Plus those occasional jaunts to Provence will be giving it a boost. Not that you'd call it a tan, of course, just a day spent well in the great outdoors with the chocolate lab (never golden).
The Towie tan
You're topping up the Marbella glow with a few choice products – and perhaps a cheeky sunbed – before heading to Sugar Hut. The clothes, and the teeth, are ice white to offset that caramel hue. The stains on the MG's leather seats are a hassle to clean, though.
Smears of cakey foundation miss Donald Trump's ears and hairline; take pity on whoever has to wash his shirts. Photo / AP
The jetset tan
Summers in Mustique and winters in Gstaad – just a hint about the time you've spent on the slopes alongside a Euro royal or five. This gentle perma-tan is part of the look, alongside Loro Piana suede shoes and a twinkling Patek. The gold on the Nautilus picks up the biscuit tones nicely, don't you think?
The gardener's tan
Ruddy, weathered and very British, this particular hue is typical of your average Home Counties chap. It stops firmly at the V neckline and starts again just below the elbows thanks to many a happy day digging in the herbaceous borders.
The expat tan
He's retired, happily ensconced in Spain and more often than not sporting a fiery tone of coral pink. The particularly violet shade is made all the more impactful thanks to his shock of white hair and a bit of a beer tum that nods to his now very comfortable life.
