"Ick lists" have been going viral on social media but therapists are concerned the trend is damaging men's mental health.
"Ick lists" have been going viral on social media but therapists are concerned the trend is damaging men's mental health.
The expression “ick” is used to describe a feeling of disgust or repulsion at a specific behaviour but therapists say it is no joke.
Instead, some experts have claimed that telling men they give you the “ick” is driving a hidden mental health crisis.
The word moved from popular slang to being recognised by the Cambridge Dictionary in 2024 and it is particularly used by young women to describe things they find unattractive in men.
Across social media, users have shared their lists of things young men and teenagers do that give them the dreaded ick.
Wearing skinny jeans, running for the bus, putting on a baby voice and doing doggy paddle in a swimming pool are among the most commonly featured.
One viral “ick list” included things such as drinking milk, applying lip balm and waiting for the green man before crossing the road.
Dan Somers, the founder of men’s mental health charity, Manup?, said it was the “kind of language that can cause men and young boys to really lose self-worth”.
“If we keep distancing young men by taking the mickey out of them for the way they jump into a pool, for example, young lads will become more battle-hardened.”
About one in five 15-year-old boys said they had low life satisfaction, according to the Children’s Society’s 2022 report.
The ick list can be damaging to young men’s confidence and self-esteem. Photo / 123rf
Damaging to young men
While these ick-lists are often light-hearted and harmless, experts say they can also be damaging to young men’s confidence and self-esteem.
Sophia Wybourne, the managing director of Lions Campus, a London-based private clinic offering day programmes for 14 to 25-year-olds struggling with their mental health, said it was “really, really damaging”.
“This kind of language causes lots of anxiety and makes them constantly feel as if everything they do is being judged,” she said.
“We often see that they look for external things to make themselves feel better about themselves, like using offensive language almost as a defence mechanism.”
She advises those affected to “find someone that you trust to speak to”, whether that be a family member, friend, teacher, or therapist.
“Trying to build self-esteem is a process, it does not happen overnight.
“People with low self-esteem often beat themselves up over a lot of things and I always say just put the bat down, stop beating yourself up.”
A therapist believes the ick culture is fuelled by girls seeking a defence mechanism and protection from getting hurt by boys. Photo / 123rf
Feeling the need to belittle
Charlotte Melki, a London-based therapist, said: “The bigger problem we need to consider is why girls feel the need to belittle in order to feel a sense of security.”
Melki believes the ick culture is fuelled by girls seeking a defence mechanism and protection from getting hurt by boys.
“These girls are feeling unsafe. When we feel safe and secure we don’t feel the need to belittle other people. Physical violence is not available to girls, so they use words. They use words that hurt,” she said.
Annie Fontaine, a life coach, said: “It is important that people are aware of the effects of language on themselves and on other people.
“Young people think this casual language does not matter but it does.”
