Is it wrong to take kids' material belongings or a valuable lesson? Photo / 123RF
Is it wrong to take kids' material belongings or a valuable lesson? Photo / 123RF
A Florida mother of two little girls has sparked intense debate after blogging about getting so fed up that she got rid of all of her kids' toys.
Ruth Soukup, 40, had been worrying for some time that her daughters were too fixated on the stuff they had, failing to enjoy experiences and taking blessings for granted.
So when, one day, her kids wouldn't clean up their toys, she packed up every single thing into boxes and took them away — and her decision has led to some fiercely-argued opinions, even years later.
Ruth first blogged about the incident on her site, Living Well Spending Less, in 2012.
But in the years since, the post has continued to be shared over and over again on social media, and this week it earned renewed attention thanks to a new thread shared on BoredPanda.
Ruth is all about staying organized and decluttering. In the year leading up to moment she reached her breaking point, she had already rid her children's room of 75 per cent of their toys, hanging onto just those that "encouraged their imagination".
But it didn't seem to be enough. That summer, she, her husband, and their two girls visited a dinosaur-themed restaurant called T-Rex in Downtown Disney.
On the way in, they passed a Build-a-Dino Workshop in the gift shop, and one of her daughters became fixated on it. She continued to ask for it throughout dinner, ignoring the fun experience of the restaurant.
Ruth and her husband were 'worried' about their kids 'lack of contentment' but hadn't yet formulated a way to deal with it.
Then, not long after, Ruth was 'telling my kids to clean their room for the umpteenth time' when 'I made the somewhat impulsive–albeit pre-warned–decision to take away ALL their stuff.'
They didn't have a lot to begin with, and Ruth kept it all organized in bins, but the girls wouldn't put the few items away when they were done with them, despite her repeated requested.
'I finally gave up and took it all away,' she wrote. 'I wasn't angry, just fed up.
'I calmly began packing up not just a toy or two, but every single thing. All their dress-up clothes, baby dolls, Polly Pockets, & stuffed animals, all their Barbies, building blocks, and toy trains, right down to the the furniture from their dollhouse and play food from their kitchen.
'I even took the pretty Pottery Barn Kids comforter from their bed. The girls watched me in stunned silence for a few minutes and then, when the shock wore off, they helped. And just like that, their room was clear.'
Ruth admitted, 'I worried that I was scarring them for life, depriving them of some essential developmental need, taking away their ability to self-entertain.'
A month later, on family trip to Key West, the girls didn't ask to buy anything. They seemed to have learned a valuable lesson.
'It's okay that we don't have any more toys Mommy,' her daughter reportedly told her. 'We can just read and use our imaginations. And now we won't have to clean up every day.'
'Had I not experienced it with my own eyes, I would've never believed that an addiction to stuff could be broken that quickly,' Ruth added.
She did clarify that she didn't actually toss everything — she donated some of it, and hid away items like Legos and dress-up clothes, which she would still take out from time to time to entertain them.
But ultimately, teaching her kids to do with less was important.
'Stuff isn't evil in and of itself, but in a world where we are constantly told that what we have isn't quite good enough, the love of things can so very easily consume us,' she wrote.
'It is the pursuit of it all–more toys, cuter clothes, a prettier house, a nicer car, a bigger computer, a fancier phone–that makes us forget all the things that actually matter.'
Over the years, Ruth's post has been shared 234,000 times on social media, with thousands of people responding to it.
'Love this!! My husband and I are thinking of trying it. We have these same issues with our son, who is a great kid but just completely obsessed with toys and electronics,' wrote one.
'This post came at the perfect time for me! My kids have an overwhelming amount of STUFF and my husband and I have be one sick of it,' wrote another mom. 'I want my kids to understand that life is about love and people around you, not the stuff.'
Added a third: 'You are an inspiration! I feel like I am being driven out of my house by all of the stuff that my children and husband acquire! I always nagging them about the memories that we have. None of them include this STUFF! I would love to do this, but I feel like I would be lynched in my own home.'
'I will be doing something like this soon. With my entire house! I am tired of all the STUFF,' said one more.
Hundreds of people applauded Ruth, with many saying they'd love to try a similar tactic at home.
'Wow. Who's going to take toys away from their children? That's just terrible,' wrote one.
'Really? You are idiotic… you are influencing parents to make a horrible choice damaging their children's lives,' added another. 't disgusts me that you make them lose all physical play and leave them to use fantasies in their minds. That was a very bad decision.'
On Tumblr, her critics have been especially vicious. It's worth noting, though, that most of the commenters on her blog appear to be parents themselves, while the Tumblr commenters don't seem to have children and likely skew younger in age.
'I loathe this woman. Rescue her kids,' wrote one.
'This mom is self-congratulatory that her kids now behave in the way she wants for her control freak minimalist neat and tidy showroom-floor aesthetic,' wrote another. 'How terrible is that?'
'This is how you get your child to 1. Never trust you again. 2. Develop anxiety in asking you for anything, ever,' griped another. 'I am so sick of these "modern" parents who shove their beliefs down their kids' throats.'
