Nina Powell moved back to NZ to live in Central Otago in 2016. Photo / Fiona Tomlinson
Nina Powell moved back to NZ to live in Central Otago in 2016. Photo / Fiona Tomlinson
Warning: content may be distressing
When sexual counsellor and healer Nina Powell found herself in the middle of a forest nine years ago, the vision of a vicious werewolf flashed before her eyes.
The Wānaka woman saw herself covered in fur, with sharp teeth, as her body and arms lashed about, and a sensation moved from her pelvis up through her mouth. In that transformative moment, Nina screamed out the rage she'd been carrying ever since being sexually abused in her 20s.
Today, the former occupational psychologist runs a "sacred, orgasmic" leadership business called House of the Wild Divine, where she dubs herself the "Red Wolf" and helps women find pleasure, healing, confidence and self-expression.
"The trauma of being raped was one of the hardest things I've had to go through, but it's become a gift in terms of my whole life story," says Nina, 41, who grew up in an eco-community in the Coromandel, before attending boarding school in Auckland as a teen. "It's partly why I've gone down this path with my work."
Nina was 25 and studying towards an honours degree in psychology in Plymouth, England, when she was drugged and raped during a night out with friends. She woke in a stranger's bed with no recollection of the night's events.
"I didn't know what'd happened and thought I'd cheated on my then-boyfriend, except I'd never been one to cheat or lose my memory on a night out, and I'd never blacked out," she shares.
"All I knew is I was at a bar and had memories up until a certain point. I had a tight feeling in my chest as though I'd been smoking and I hadn't smoked in two years.
"Something felt weird in my body, so I wondered if I'd been drugged."
After Nina left the house, she had no recollection of what the man looked like or how to get back to his place. Without the memory of what happened, she started to blame herself.
"Then a friend texted me that morning asking if I got home okay because she'd seen me looking really out of it at the bar and there was a guy with me," recalls Nina. "He told her he'd make sure I got home and he took me home with his friend."
The event caused her severe fear and emotional distress. Whenever Nina walked around Plymouth, she looked at everyone who glanced her way, wondering if it had been them.
"When I eventually saw the guy at a bar, I knew it was him," she says. "I was with my boyfriend and the guy admitted he'd had sex with me.
"He apologised and got down on the ground, kissing my feet, asking for my forgiveness.
Nina Powell has trained in somatic sexology education and coaching, trauma healing, holistic pelvic care, Tibetan tantra and reflexology. Photo / Fiona Tomlinson
"But when I went to the police, he denied it and he never got charged. They said they couldn't do anything, and so I got on with my life."
Nina went on to get a distinction on her Masters in Psychology, got married and bought a home in Bristol, before diving into a successful consultancy career that took her around the world.
But in 2016, she decided it was time for a fresh start and she moved back to New Zealand, settling in Central Otago. On the outside, her life was stable and secure, but the yoga practitioner had lost her spark and was still processing her emotional distress years later.
"I decided to go to some transformational workshops, and I received healing and training in sexological body work," says Nina, who studied vaginal mapping, a nonsexual process where a practitioner holds and presses parts around the pelvis, like a trigger point massage.
"I learnt I had areas of numbness in my vagina from burying some of the experience of the rape in my body and while receiving one of these sessions, we found a spot where I felt so much anger when the practitioner pressed on it."
Nina recalls trembling with rage on the massage table, wrapped in a blanket and shouting at the teacher to get their hands off her. After the session, when the other retreat attendees and practitioners sat together for lunch, Nina felt an overwhelming need to escape and ran into the forest, where she imagined transforming into a werewolf.
"The scream that came out of me was like the voice I'd not had at the time I was raped and it was buried in me – it was wild!" she enthuses. "It was amazing and when I got home to my then-partner, I could suddenly feel everything when we made love.
"I didn't realise I'd been numb until I could feel and this is one aspect of what I help women do now."
Since deciding to change her career path seven years ago, leaving the corporate world to work as a sexual healer, Nina has trained in somatic sexology education and coaching, sexological bodywork, trauma healing, holistic pelvic care, Tibetan tantra and reflexology.
"When we have trauma, we check out because it's too much to process and it's a clever safety mechanism at the time," explains Nina, who runs leadership programmes and works with clients across the world.
"It's often much later when you're in a relationship and something isn't working, or you start doing healing experiences, that you realise there's still these effects happening in your life or body. Sexual health contributes to our overall wellbeing, and I love helping women reclaim who they really are and access their full power."
Sexual harm - Where to get help If it's an emergency and you feel that you or someone else is at risk, call 111. If you've ever experienced sexual assault or abuse and need to talk to someone, contact Safe to Talk confidentially, any time 24/7: • Call 0800 044 334 • Text 4334 • Email support@safetotalk.nz • For more info or to web chat visit safetotalk.nz Alternatively contact your local police station - click here for a list. If you have been sexually assaulted, remember it's not your fault.
