As an unmarried person, I'm yet to say this with any real authority, but I have heard whisperings that marriage is hard. That even when you are utterly, heart-achingly in awe of your awesome spouse, facing their quirks and issues every day FOREVERMORE is one hell of a test.
However, I'm still pretty sure I'd rather marry a person, than marry myself.
Like 36-year-old Nadine Schweigert, a yoga teacher from South Dakota who recently wed herself in front of 45 family and friends.
According to a local newspaper, Nadine wore a "long, satiny dress in peacock blue and carried a cluster of white roses". She also "presented herself with a ring and invited all guests to 'blow kisses to the whole world' at the point of the traditional, bride-groom lip-lock."
Here's the mother of two discussing her choice on a talk show:
She keeps the romance alive by going on date nights and everything.
Apparently, "self-marriage" has become a bit of a micro-trend. Two years ago, 30-year-old Chen Wei-yih from Taiwan got on board when she married herself in a small $8000 ceremony attended by a cluster of friends and family. The office worker wore a white gown, clutched a big bouquet of flowers, and announced the event on Facebook. Then she hopped on a plane for her self- honeymoon in Australia.
30-year-old Dutch artist Jennifer Hoes marched herself down the aisle because "I want to celebrate with others how much I'm in love with myself." She has just celebrated her ninth anniversary to herself. (One look at her art and all becomes clear.)
And last year, Desiree Moodie from New York ended up single right before her actual (proper) wedding day, so she married - you guessed it! - herself, in front of friends and family. "I will make my happiness a priority and forgive myself when I'm not perfect," she vowed. "I will love myself forever more, through good and bad, thick and thin."
In her book Quirkyalone - a "manifesto for uncompromising romantics" - author Sasha Cagen writes about the growing desire for women to marry themselves:
"The choice to marry yourself takes the coming-of-age ritual to a new level. It's not just about getting towels or diamond rings or attention. The common theme in most of the stories that I hear is a commitment to take care of oneself as one hopes or imagines that a lover would."
And if you're looking for guidance, New Age websites like Encouraging Priestess share ideas on how to undertake secular, self-marriage ceremonies. ("You marry yourself, not someone else." Just to be clear.)
Hell will freeze over before I put on a frock and declare I am now my own wife. However, the above ladies are open about why they 'married' themselves, and I applaud that... kind of.
Brad Wilcox, the Director of The National Marriage Project, doesn't applaud that, though. Not even a little bit. Watch Nadine shoot him daggers with her eyes as he explains why she is a "poster child for all that is wrong in our culture when it comes to marriage". (Big call, Brad.)
Anyway, congratulations to Nadine, Chen, Jennifer and Desiree, because at least they're not marrying a BUILDING, like this annoying weirdo.
Would you marry yourself, or is this just the 'self-love' movement gone mad? Should 'self-marriage' be legally recognised? What are some helpful tips for making 'real', legally binding marriages last?
