This is pretty much the best thing ever. Two scientists have figured out what it truly means to be cool, following a disagreement over whether actor Steve Buscemi is cool or not. (As if that were even up for debate.)
Coolness: an empirical investigation is "the first systematic quantitative investigation of coolness", and the work of Ilan Dar-Nimrod, a psychology researcher at Rochester Medical Center in New York, and Ian Hansen, an assistant professor of psychology at York College.
Go cross-eyed like I did trying to read its dense, uncool sentences, or keep reading:
Nimrod and Hansen picked the savvy brains of 1000 Canadian university students, who played some word-association games and ranked the coolness of various personality traits. Special attention was also paid to the difference between niceness and coolness - in case the two were confused - but actually there was no need, because it turns out today's version of cool is all about niceness anyway.
Here is what they advise if you would like to be cool right now, and simultaneously annoy the hell out of anyone over the age of 25:
