Reality show induces queasy feeling that's hard to ignore

Sailing trainer Neil Murray shows the cut of his jib on The Ultimate Challenge.

The first lesson to be learned from new reality competition show The Ultimate Challenge (last night, TV One, 7.30pm) is that pleasure is a relative concept.

How much fun is it to crew on a no-frills maxi ocean racing yacht? Depends on what you compare it with.

"This is so much better than inspecting septic tanks or scaring cockroaches out of food premises," said Alastair, an environmental officer from Invercargill, part of the batch of aspiring racing sailors who stepped aboard for the first leg of the contest from Bluff to Lyttelton.

With an office routine like Alastair's, you could understand why he was keen to broaden his horizons as one of the 48 contestants hoping to score a place on the boat Lion New Zealand, once the charge of the great helmsman Sir Peter Blake.

The wannabes in this show are after a novel prize: to win a place in the crew on Lion New Zealand for the 50th anniversary Auckland to Suva race and the chance, perhaps, to be a small part of yachting history.

The show began with the usual bluster from excited contestants about "awesome" opportunities, wanting to "get out of the comfort zone" and confident predictions of aceing the journey.

There was the essential note of doomed innocence, as the big yacht cast off: "It feels very unusual being on a boat," noted one novice sailor.

Once the boat got under way, however, it seemed a few of the hopefuls would look favourably upon pastimes such as septic tank inspection and fraternising with the cockroaches, compared with the queasy business of tossing about on the high seas.

The TV is crowded with wannabes pitching to be famous pop idols, survivors with a million dollars, or readymade rockstars. On The Ultimate Challenge, the aspirants are pitching - literally - which is this show's main point of difference.

Forget the strains put on the ears by those idols who will insist on attempting a Whitney Houston: to survive watching this show you need to be extremely strong of stomach. There's something about watching people battling seasickness on a boat bobbing up and down for the cameras that makes that nauseous feeling catching.

The sickness isn't helped by the cheesiness of the narrator's script, with such rockin' lines as "This is no game, this is for real" (it is a game for the telly cameras, actually), and endless references to "commitment, attitude and guts".

The rest of the show is pretty much reality as usual, down to testing the mettle of the contestants with challenges such as cleaning out the old bilge water. "I don't think there's any faeces in it," said the contestant who scored the nasty job and certainly should get the prize for looking on the bright side.

The problem is that the confines of the yacht rather restrict the action, although things might hot up when the show reaches the finalists' boot camp stage.

But so far, despite the promised "personality clashes" from our hype-fuelled narrator, the best on offer was a few scathing remarks from skipper Steve Gilmour, who looks like he's pitching to be the Simon Cowell of the high seas.

The show might benefit if he changed the role model to Captain Bligh. A few floggings, keel haulings and the prospect of a good mutiny would liven up proceedings up enormously. And what better way of getting rid of the losers than making 'em walk the plank.