Quaden Bayles, 9, won't be going to Disneyland after all.
Quaden Bayles, 9, won't be going to Disneyland after all.
OPINION:
If I were Quaden Bayles' mum, I'd take him to Disneyland.
Honestly, if any kid needs that kind of joy in his life it's this little 9-year-old boy.
Born with dwarfism and bullied at school, he's already battled plenty in his short life and badly needs the opportunity to be the kid that he is. And yet the bullies have had the last sneer because his mum has said "no".
I understand why Quaden's mum Yarraka Bayles has turned down the trip and won't accept any of the $700,000 donated by people captivated by Quaden's plight.
Her focus has always been the bullying and she clearly live-streamed a video to Facebook of her son in distress so others would see the impact such behaviour has on a child.
It was the reaction of a lioness wanting to protect her cub.
Quaden Bayles, his mother, Yarraka Bayles, and Cody Walker, a professional rugby league player, pose together this month in the Gold Coast, Australia. Photo / Australian Broadcasting Corporation via AP
While her decision to decline the crowdfunded trip to Disneyland and redirect the funds to bullying charities is commendable, she's denying her son the opportunity to see the two sides of life.
There's the side he knows – the struggle with illness, the cruelty of bullies and the trolls who, even upon seeing his distress, claimed he was 18 and his mother's post was a scam.
Then there's the side he may not yet have experienced – the willingness of others, even famous people, to support you when you need it and the fundamental goodness, empathy and generosity of a society hardwired to care.
The online world, just like the real world, can be as toxic as it is tender, but by taking her son to Disneyland Yarraka Bayles would be illustrating to Quaden the triumph of kindness over cruelty.
She would also be honouring the 20,000 global donors who put their hands in their pockets so a small boy could, if only for a day, feel like a giant.
As his aunty, Mundanara Bayles, has pointed out, the trip would be good for him.
"What kid wouldn't want to go to Disneyland, especially if you have lived Quaden's life. To escape to anywhere that is fun that doesn't remind him of his day-to-day challenges," she said. But she respects her sister's wish for the money to go to community organisations.
The other issue with denying Quaden his trip, is that it's tantamount to letting the bullies win.
Clearly, Bayles fears she and her son might face a backlash if they accept the money raised through a gofundme page set up by American comedian Brad Williams, who also has dwarfism.
While Williams respects the family's decision and has offered a refund to anyone who donated, you have to wonder whether this outcome might stop celebrities responding similarly in the future. Hugh Jackman, Mark Hamill and rapper Cardi B have all sent messages of support, fully aware their profile will help galvanise the public.
Likewise, the Indigenous All Stars invited Quaden to lead them out onto the field for their game against the Māori All Stars last weekend.
Quaden Bayles, 9, won't be going to Disneyland after all.
Yet as observers have noted, these victories of decency over malice are undermined if Quaden misses out on a dream holiday.
"Bullied boy gets bullied out of a trip to Disneyland. This is the world we live in," one person wrote on Twitter, echoing the sentiments of many.
As Atticus Finch says in To Kill a Mockingbird, we all need to stand in another person's shoes: "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
Everyone who donated to send Quaden to Disneyland was standing in his small shoes. More than anything they want him to strap himself in and enjoy the rides of a lifetime.
