Pam Corkery says 15 years of sobriety has allowed her to re-learn gratitude and how to have a laugh after an addiction to alcohol and drugs nearly killed her.
The award-winning journalist and broadcaster, who has also been an author and politician and now lives in Australia, says going through the Alcoholics and Narcotics Anonymous programme taught her how to think about herself less.
“You [need to] tell the truth and make amends for everything you’ve done. But the one for me is the higher power, as it’s called in our [Anonymous programmes] — and to me, that’s keeping humble.
“If I’m concerned, I will talk to the sky, just go out and go, ‘Not a bad day’ [or] ‘That happened’, ‘I mucked up on that’, or ‘I’ll fix that tomorrow’. And I’ll just remember that I’m not that important.”
She told Real Life her addictions nearly ended her life before she finally swore off drugs and alcohol.
Corkery has now been off the booze and drugs for more than 15 years and went on to start a relationship with now-husband Kerry, an addictions support worker she met during her recovery.
“I nearly died… a fright is very good. My children had come to me and said, ‘Mum, this is not funny’. And I’d said, ‘Yes, I’ll stop now’. [I was] lying, because you’re compelled to keep drinking.
“Now, I suppose I’ve been clean long enough. If you’re a year clean, it’s still difficult; three years clean, maybe still a wee bit more difficult because you’ve got to uncover stuff about yourself and you’d sort of bullshitted your way through life by just covering up the sins you had done the night before.
“Now, I sort of just live nicely and with gratitude, and I laugh. I hadn’t laughed like that for a long time and I remember going out with a Narcotics Anonymous group for a forest trek, and I was going, ‘Look at these trees,’ because most of us stay indoors a lot. We go, ‘Look at that sky, what the hell, there’s animals?’
“All those things were late coming. So I feel very child-like at the same time as being a grown-up.”
Corkery says sobriety has brought all sorts of new insights into herself and what’s important — the main being a renewed appreciation for her family.
“It’s a funny thing I’ve learned, because I’ve been married a lot of times, a ridiculous amount. But now I know I can give and receive love — I just only ever took it. It’s all those things that have come with being sober,” she told Cowan.
“I can’t fight the battle for everyone, but now I’ve got these two gorgeous daughters who are successful and blossoming, I’ve got [husband] Kerry, I’ve got a sister and nieces here in Queensland.
“And I can sit with myself. I think I’m relaxed, which, when you’re using alcohol and other drugs, none of that ever happens. So I’m still, I suppose, cherishing these years.
“I don’t think I want to save the world anymore. I’d just like to live a bit longer.”
Real Life is a weekly interview show where John Cowan speaks with prominent guests about their life, upbringing, and the way they see the world. Tune in Sundays from 7:30pm on Newstalk ZB or listen to the latest full interview here.