Is it ever okay to regift your unwanted Christmas presents? Photo / Getty Images
Is it ever okay to regift your unwanted Christmas presents? Photo / Getty Images
Picture this: you’re sitting around the tree on Christmas morning, hot drink in hand, carols playing in the background, as one by one you and your loved ones eagerly tear into the gifts you’ve been eyeing for weeks.
But as you unwrap your Secret Santa from Aunty Barbara, who never sticks to the budget - or your wish list - all your worst fears are confirmed. It’s a crocheted infinity scarf you would absolutely never wear, let alone the fact that it’s 28C and Christmas dinner is a barbecue.
Do you hide the unwanted five-pack of socks, Lynx Africa gift set or handheld vacuum with the rest of your stash and secretly vow to pop it on Marketplace later? Do you rewrap it and give it to your least favourite colleague at the work Christmas party next year? Or do you sneak out in the dead of night on Boxing Day eve and unceremoniously throw it in the wheelie bin?
In New Zealand, there aren’t clear rules to follow when it comes to awkward gifting situations. But Debrett’s, a UK-based organisation described as a “record-keeper and chronicler of British society, a publisher, and an authority on modern manners”, has shed some light on the subject.
Debrett’s etiquette adviser Liz Wyse tells the Herald that if you don’t like a gift, you can’t let the giver know.
“Every present, no matter how dull, inappropriate or unimaginative, should be greeted with gracious enthusiasm,” she says.
“You can always find something positive to say about even the most unimaginative present - ‘Grey socks? Thank you, these will be ideal for wearing with my work suit’. Never allow a crestfallen expression to flicker, even momentarily, across your face.”
Is it ever okay to regift it to someone else? Wyse says you should tread carefully.
What do you do if you don't like your Christmas present? Photo / 123RF
“It clearly makes economic sense to find a new home for unwanted gifts, but you must employ the utmost caution,” she warns.
“Only regift if you are absolutely confident that the original present-giver and the recipient of the regifting will never cross paths, so you are probably wise to avoid regifting within your immediate social circle. Never make the mistake of regifting a present back to the original giver – that is a faux pas from which it is hard to recover.”
And under no circumstances should you inform Aunty Barbs you’ve given her scarf away.
“You need to make sure that your regifting will never come back to haunt you, so recycle presents with the utmost caution, outside your social circle,” Wyse adds.
It’s a common and accepted practice to return or exchange wedding presents, so does the same apply to a Christmas gift? It depends how well you know the giver.
“React positively to the gift on opening. Then tactfully mention - once the Christmas giving spree has died down - that you really appreciate your present, but you’re not sure it’s, for example, the right colour, size, or style,” she advises.
“Never disparage the choice - ‘You know I don’t like bright colours’ - instead say something like ‘It’s a beautiful colour, but I think I’d find it a bit too bright’ - it’s much better if you can blame yourself, not the giver.
“Then say something like ‘I wouldn’t want your generosity to go to waste, so would you mind if ...’ - only do this if you are convinced you won’t hurt the feelings of the giver.”
If you know for sure that the fact you don’t like the gift will upset them, then you can think about returning or selling it - if you’re absolutely certain that they’ll never find out.
“You don’t want your mother-in-law to innocently ask ‘Why don’t you ever wear that lovely cerise scarf I gave you last Christmas?’, when you know full well that you have taken it back to the store and exchanged it.”
