The Queen, who died in September 2022, was initially delighted by the young Diana Spencer, who went to great lengths to impress upon everyone how much she loved the “magical” Balmoral “beyond imagination”, professing a great love of fishing and shooting.
She had just two reservations about the new woman in her eldest son’s life, Ingrid Seward, the author, claims in her new book, My Mother and I.
“She wondered whether anyone that young could differentiate between the man and the prince,” Seward writes.
“And she couldn’t help thinking that the Spencer girl would be far better suited to her younger son, Andrew.”
Diana had “determinedly” set out to be the Princess of Wales and made a great effort whenever she was invited to a royal house party at Balmoral, the book claims.
Her efforts paid off and everyone found her “enchanting”.
One member of staff recalled about shooting parties: “Most of the ladies do not get up until after the guns have gone out, but Diana was always up early.
“If you looked out of your window at a quarter to eight, you would see her walking in the garden, and she made a great point of being there to see them off.
“It was then that she played her sharpest card. She would go around telling everybody how much she loved Balmoral and that it was such a magical place and how she loved it beyond imagination.”
Similarly, on a visit to Sandringham, one royal confidant is quoted as saying: “She was everywhere, picking up the birds, being terribly gracious and absolutely oozing charm.
“And she looked marvellous, very relaxed and quite thrilled with herself.”
Diana and Prince Andrew attend Trooping the Colour in 1981. Photo / Getty Images
However, it did not take long for the shine to wear off.
Just a month before she was due to marry, Diana was left furious when Charles showed no interest in dancing with her at Prince Andrew’s 21st birthday party at Windsor Castle.
At 5.30am the following morning, she set off in her car for Althorp, her father’s Northamptonshire home, determined that the wedding was off.
However, her father, Earl Spencer, was “appalled” by the suggestion and told her it would be “an act of gross discourtesy” to break off her engagement so close to the wedding.
Having been talked around, the Princess found herself having to get used to some of the Royal family’s many quirks.
In a section of the book serialised in The Mail on Sunday, Seward writes: “For instance, they laid their pudding spoons and forks across the top of the place setting, which she’d always been told was very bourgeois; and at Balmoral they even used fish knives, which were supposed to be the height of pretentious vulgarity.
“Then there was the Queen’s trick of leaving her chocolates out on the grand piano in the saloon by the front entrance at Sandringham, after which she’d peer down from the window in the corridor overhead to see who dared to filch one.
“And Diana had to learn not to flinch when her future mother-in-law picked ticks off one of her beloved corgis and flicked them into the fire, where they landed in the flames with a satisfying hiss.”
Struggled to cope
As the young Princess increasingly struggled to cope, unable to understand the lack of affection shown towards her by both her husband and the wider Royal family, Prince Edward’s footman, Mark Simpson, was identified as the perfect person to help her through her early days at the palace, although their closeness is said to have raised eyebrows in some quarters.
The late Princess poured out her heart to Mr Simpson, telling him that she thought she looked fat in her engagement photos, which he believed was the trigger for her bulimia.
“I think Diana thought it was strange that the Queen was not up there with her, sitting on the end of her bed chatting to her about her day. I think she genuinely thought that was going to happen.
“I felt it was my job to explain to Diana that if she wanted to eat with the Queen or see the Queen, all she had to do was ring up the Queen’s page and find out.”
Members of the Royal family gather at Clarence House, London, in 1986. Photo / Getty Images
Later, as the marriage broke down, the Princess is said to have tearfully ranted to the Queen about Charles, as well as members of her own family.
“The Queen came to dread these meetings,” Seward writes. “She’d never had to deal with such outbursts in her life, and they left her feeling drained, despondent and confused.”
“For a few years after Diana’s death, the Queen had been wary of appearing at any event to which Camilla had also been invited. But she’d never disliked her.”
My Mother and I by Ingrid Seward will be published by Simon & Schuster on February 15.
