Asleep in her mother's arms, Britain's newest princess. Photo / Getty Images
Asleep in her mother's arms, Britain's newest princess. Photo / Getty Images
Well that's a relief. For a moment there, one wondered if the Great Kate Wait for a name was because the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had caused a constitutional crisis by going off-piste and deciding to call their new daughter Chardonnay. Or Mercedes. Or perhaps they had simply decided to leave it at Princess - if it's good enough for Katie Price, it's good enough for them.
After all, over the bank holiday weekend the bookies were offering odds on the most extraordinary range of names, from Zoella (100/1), to Cheryl (100/1) to Nigella (200/1) to Tulisa (500/1). At 1000/1, Daenerys never looked like a great bet, but new mothers are notoriously hormonal and who knew if such suggestions had given the Duchess funny ideas?
After a wait far longer than the actual labour, during which time newsrooms went into meltdown over the very real possibility that the name could be released as the country went to the polls, we finally found out what to call royal baby number two: Charlotte Elizabeth Diana.
The new parents had played it safe and traditional - of course - and in the process delivered a lovely little windfall in the form of a record-breaking £1 million paid out to people who had put their money on Charlotte (just the boost you need before a gruelling general election). But it is the middle names that will have really cheered the British public - or at the very least, one middle name in particular.
Because almost 18 years after Diana, Princess of Wales, died, she has been returned to the royal fold in the most moving way possible, her name given in tribute to the granddaughter she would never know.
The newborn baby princess is carried in a car seat by her father from The Lindo Wing of St. Mary's Hospital, in London. Photo / AP
This was surely a big part of the reason the nation wanted a girl. Never forgotten, never replaced, might the much-missed Queen of Hearts live on in Princess Charlotte of Cambridge?
These are big Jimmy Choos to fill, but if anyone can, then it is the daughter of a woman who strode confidently down the steps of the Lindo wing in high heels just hours after giving birth.
"How Diana would have loved a granddaughter," tweeted Rosa Monckton, a close friend of William's late mother.
It was enough to make you cry like a newborn baby. Why else was everyone so keen for a girl? A boy would have spent his life being thought of as little more than a spare to Prince George's heir. But a sister! Now that's different.
Yes, the chances of Princess Charlotte ever ascending to the throne are about as slim as Nicola Sturgeon announcing her love for England, but as a United Kingdom that has been ruled over by a woman for 63 years, it is nice to know that a girl is now fourth in line - and a Diana at that. Plus, with her pedigree, it's safe to assume that Princess Charlotte won't be dismissed easily.
She'll be a person in her own right, one who will no doubt upstage her big brother at every turn. (Does Jenny Packham do clothes for children? And if not, please can she start?)
The Frozen effect has also played its part - the moment we were safely delivered of the news that the Duchess of Cambridge had been safely delivered of a daughter was also the moment that Queen Elsa got usurped in the hearts of young girls the world over. "It's like a real life princess!" squealed some American tourists who had turned up to St Mary's hospital to try and catch a glimpse of the, like, real life princess.
Tony Appleton, a town crier, announces the birth of the royal baby. Photo / AP
Even in the 21st century, when girls can smash through glass ceilings and decide elections, we still love the atavistic idea of an actual princess going off to live in an actual palace. Princess Charlotte is already sprinkled with magic, and she's not even a week old - just imagine the adoration and adulation when she hits 18.
So what, exactly, can Catherine expect from a girl? From one mother of a daughter to another, let me tell you Duchess: boy, are you in for a girly treat! Girls are good. Girls are great. Contrary to popular belief, girls don't actually smell like sugar and spice and all things nice; they can be every bit as gross as boys, though as a bonus they are unlikely to wee on you while you change their nappy (apologies if you are eating breakfast).
They can be as sweet as roses but as prickly as them too. Girls can switch from kisses and cuddles to huge diva strops in the blink of an eye (or the refusal of another Ella's Kitchen pouch). They are all, royal title or not, little princesses. And as much as one might pledge to dress their little darling in gender-neutral clothes, or ban Barbies from the playroom, their femininity will almost always find a way.
"When you were two, you wanted to look at flowers and birds," said my mother yesterday (Monday). "When your brother was the same age, he was just interested in digging in the dirt." With girls, the dirt-digging doesn't tend to come until they are well in to their twenties, you see.
Girls can be worrying, too. They are beset with low self-esteem; even in a ball-breaking society where feminism dominates, they somehow seem more vulnerable. There is no This Boy Can campaign, for example.
And the new parents will no doubt be hoping to shield the young princess from the crueller elements of being born into royalty - given we have only seen Prince George in public in Britain twice in two years, could it be another decade before we get a glimpse of Princess Charlotte at a royal event?
Of course, the little girl has one huge advantage in life: her mother.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge present their newborn daughter to the world. Photo / Getty Images
There are few women who could pull off what Catherine did over the weekend.
While many of us struggle to book a hair appointment on a Saturday, the Duchess also managed to schedule in the time to have a baby. "She is AMAZING!" I screamed to my husband, as I slobbed on the sofa in ripped leggings and a jumper, PlayDoh in my hair. "Yes," he drooled, staring at the vision on our television screen.
The high heels. The dress! (Anyone who has ever given birth will know that a cream and lemon frock is an exceptionally brave choice of outfit for your first public outing post-labour; that anything other than tracksuit bottoms and a baggy t-shirt is an exceptionally brave choice of outfit post-labour).
Catherine balanced her hours-old daughter in one hand, and her husband in the other, looking every inch as if she had just spent the day in a beauty salon, as opposed to say, a birthing pool. And you knew then that everything will turn out just fine for Princess Charlotte Elizabeth Diana.
She has loving parents, a gorgeous big brother, and a country rooting for her. Now all that remains to be asked is: just how long will the Great Kate Wait be for number three?
And if it's another girl, please can they call her Carole?
