Polly Gillespie: If Lamar Odom was a Kiwi...

Would Lamar get the same response from fans if he were a Kiwi? Photo / iStock

I can only really comment on the two cultures I know intimately, the New Zealand culture, full of Tall Poppies, and Tall Poppy trimmers, and the American culture of build-'em-up-to-knock-'em-down types.

I've been watching the whole Lamar Odom episode with morbid interest, as have many of us. Here's a guy who was famous for being a greater baller (that's basket-baller in jive talk) and then he was famous for - foolishly or otherwise - marrying a Kardashian.

Strange things happen to men who throw themselves into that deep pool of oestrogen; strange, weird, wild, wonderful things. Even brothers and fathers seem to float off into the ether.

Lamar played ball and was on two Reality TV shows where he seemed like a good guy who didn't sleep very well. (It all makes sense now we know the drugs he was likely imbibing.)

But on the whole, Lamar kept a pretty low profile - that is until he began shooting up and visiting strange women in motel rooms. There were rumours of Khloé turning up at motels in the middle of the night, banging on doors and demanding to see her husband - those moments were not shot for Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

I don't think those were "hair, make-up and stylist" moments. So Lamar gets thrown out, and fair-e-bloody-nough too. The guy made his wife look like a national fool, so the hero became the villain.

Here in New Zealand our poppies rise up from the fields of Anzac. Then, people come along astride ride-on mowers and chop them down to size. Had Lamar done what he did to Khloé to our lovely Jamie Ridge or Temapara George, we would have drawn and quartered him, stoned him to death, featured him in Spy as cad of the century, and sent him packing as fast as we could.

Lamar would not return in triumph from a New Zealand Love Ranch. Do we even have a Love Ranch? Here lies the difference between New Zealand and American culture, and this case points it out perfectly.

New Zealanders like a certain amount of modest, yet glorious, success. Let's reiterate, it must be modest... and glorious. We then like to trim away until the person fits our mould. The mould is both glorious and, yes, modest.

It would be very helpful if said famous person didn't drink, 'whore about' or be seen to sell Class A drugs.

We Kiwis don't like that kind of decadent 'rich folk' excess. When we knock our star off their modest perch, we are never keen to see them climb back up:

"Move along now. You've had your 15 minutes, now run along, tail between your legs, please."

In America, it's profoundly different. In America, first you must be built up. Your pedestal is Jack-and-the-bean-stalkishly high.

Then you must crash down in some lewd or lurid scandal where everyone hates you, and THEN - third act people! This is Hollywood! - you must rise from the ashes of disaster with a newsworthy medical misadventure, a great screaming mess of an overdose, or a major case of public looney tunes.

Then, and only then, does America want to see you rise again like a big, publicised phoenix from the ashes. They want you to rise and fall and rise again.

What is it in them that demands a second chance at greater glory? I have to admit, it's better than our slash and burn approach to scandal and celebrity. They like the winner to lose then win again.

Lamar is now treated like a US airforce pilot who's been shot down in combat and is miraculously on the mend: "Thank God he's alive. We're praying for him!" said one desperately sincere reporter standing under his hospital window.

I think if I ever monumentally 'F' up, I should like it to be in America, as an American. It is the land of the free and the home of the truly celebrated bloody awesome great second chance! Lamar will get a parade, a purple heart and a second chance with the Kardashians. No wonder The Beckhams moved there mid-scandal, huh?