Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley return for the second Pirates of the Caribbean film, Dead Man's Chest.

Herald rating: * * *

When the first Pirates of the Caribbean sailed over the horizon in 2004, it was feared it was doomed from the beginning. Here, after all, was a film inspired by a Disneyland ride. That it was a theme park attraction without a movie behind it was understandable - pirate movies were a genre with a bad habit of jolly rogering those in Hollywood who attempted modern revivals of them.

And that old swashbuckling spirit had gone to a galaxy far far away with a chap named Hans Solo.

But from the opening scene of the first Pirates, when Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow stepped daintily from his sinking ship's mast on to a wharf, it was clear something was up.

Here was the man who was going to stop it being just a theme park movie.

The first Pirates was a deserved runaway hit and it spawned two sequels - Dead Man's Chest, already setting box office opening weekend records, and another due in a year's time.

But DMC feels like it wants to be both sequel and the second instalment of a trilogy. It does neither particularly well. It's one of those films which is often spectacular, frequently funny but strangely tedious with it.

Part of that monotony is due to its multiple plot convolutions. Firstly there's quite a lot of time spent reuniting the cheekboned trio of Depp, Knightley and Bloom, the last two of which were about to get married when fate intervened.

And then it's off to face the octopus-faced Davy Jones (Nighy), his barnacled crew, his ship-killing deep sea monster, a tribe of cannibals seemingly imported from old Hollywood's onga-bonga land, various officers of the British Empire they ran rings round last time, and a voodoo priestess.

That's all in the pursuit of Captain Jones' famous locker which contains something which will ... well if I had still cared by the time they dug the thing up I wouldn't have forgotten would I?

There are times DMC is riotous slapstick fun - especially Sparrow's escape from the cannibals while impersonating a giant kebab, and a swordfight on the top of a runaway water wheel.

But even then, there's something underwhelming about much of the action elsewhere.

Rule one of any modern pirate flick: must contain at least one decent non computer-enhanced swordfight. This doesn't.

Thankfully, Depp gets as entertainingly carried away as Captain Jack as he did last time, while his co-stars are obviously again saving any efforts at actually acting until the third instalment, knowing that looking as pretty as they did in the first movie will do for this one, too. Compared to its predecessor, Pirates II might have more of just about everything. Especially duration and a level of violence that might rule it out as fun for all the family.

But that doesn't make it a better film. It's the theme park movie the first one avoided.

Yes, the original Pirates was a neatly paced rollercoaster which left you wanting more.

This one is a merry-go-round - or a runaway water wheel - leaving one dazed by spinning too fast for too long without really going anywhere.

Cast: Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Bill Nighy Director: Gore Verbinksi
Running time: 154 mins
Rating: M (medium level violence)
Screening: Village, Hoyts, Berkeley cinemas
Verdict: Even with Captain Jack Sparrow back in fine form, the second Pirates flick isn't an (eye) patch on the first. Its confusing drawn-out storyline rushes from action spectacle to action spectacle and it's too long - and sometimes too nasty - for younger kids.