Top notch restaurants have revealed the extent to which they play police, with some having to ban drink-drivers or eject patrons having sex on the premises.
With summer only a sip or two of chardonnay away, managers and maitres'd are gearing up for the long lunches - and longer evenings. And while restaurants say most patrons are well-behaved, there are some ratbags they keep an eye out for.
At Ponsonby's SPQR, maitre'd James Burgess said he was now enforcing a ban on a man who drank martinis and then drove.
"The first time I banned him was because he would get really drunk and he would promise he wouldn't drive, but then he would get into his car and do a wheelie out the front and speed off. After that I said, 'I'm not going to serve you any more'. Then he came back last night and had a few drinks. He left two hours later [in his car], so he will definitely be banned the next time he comes in."
Burgess said he had called police to warn them about the man.
He has been in the hospitality industry for 15 years and seen it all - including patrons who have sex in the toilets and another who thought the corner of the restaurant was a urinal.
"Somebody can be really drunk and be fine, but others can be really offensive on their own. Sometimes I will approach their friends and ask them to take care of their friends.
"Obviously people get louder when they are boozed, but you should give people a couple of warnings first for disturbing the other diners. I treat this restaurant like I'm having a dinner party at home. If there is a guest there who is ruining it for everyone else, then they have to go."
Soul maitre'd Geeling Ng, of David Bowie's China Girl fame, says most patrons are well behaved. She uses a traffic light system to gauge behaviour.
"Green is like they're really cool, they're having a fun time that's fine.
"Orange is like the first approach when you say to them really nicely would you mind not doing whatever it is [that's obnoxious]...
"And red light is like 'Okay, we have asked you several times to keep it down, and you're ignoring us. You are affecting the enjoyment of our other patrons and we are really sorry but we are going to have to ask you to leave at this point. But you are more than welcome to come back tomorrow."'
Over-amorous couples are not uncommon. "Tell me one restaurant in Auckland that hasn't caught someone having sex in a bathroom,"says Ng. "I think I can tell you one time I was ousted myself," she laughs.
"We had an interesting couple who tried to have sex on the deck... right in front of everyone. The boys had to prise them apart, and we had to tell them there were people complaining. We said, 'This is not Showgirls'."
French Cafe restaurant manager Creghan Molloy-Wright says she uses her initiative in dealing with loud customers or any bad behaviour. The restaurant has distinct separate dining areas, which allows loud diners to be away from others.
"I guess when I have to approach a table I just say to them, 'Look you are not the only ones in the dining room, there are other guests here, too.' Generally we take care of that ourselves - I mean people know not to come into our restaurant and scream and stuff."
Restaurant Association president Mike Egan, who also owns Wellington's Monsoon Poon restaurant, says he has seen a lot of bad behaviour.
"People are always trying to steal crockery, glassware... People being rude to the wait staff just thinking it's their right to take out their bad day on someone. I had a guy who was so unreasonable he made his PA ring up and apologise to me which was a bit cowardly. But he did say sorry because he made the waitress cry... he feels really bad about it but he was having a bad day at the office.
"Restaurants are public living rooms so people come in with all sorts of baggage that we don't know about. Generally though customers are getting better."
Ng says Soul has never outrightly banned a particular patron.
"We'd never say 'never come back'. It's always only a one-off occasion; it might be someone who has sold their million-dollar house, or someone's divorce has come through. There are so many reasons for celebration."
The one thing restaurateurs hate the most is abuse of staff.
"Sometimes mistakes are made, everyone is human, you can only do so much," says Ng.
"If you swear at my staff, you will be asked to leave."