Party central: Hosting a great bash

Party planners such as Anne Holman knows how to make the most of an event. Picture / Carolyn Robertson

It's one of life's bittersweet ironies that hosting a party to celebrate some joyous event can turn you into a gibbering wreck before the first guests even grace the doorway.

If only we possessed the nous of hostesses like Mrs Stuyvesant Fish, who entertained as naturally as she breathed.

So assured of her status as New York's reigning society queen, she once famously hosted a "dog's dinner" at her Newport retreat where ladies and their pooches munched on pate de foie gras and sipped champagne at a silver-laden dining table.

Fish took delight in ridiculing the rituals of 19th-century entertaining, but then she had the dosh, the servants and the confidence to carry it off with aplomb.

The modern day hostess frequently has less time, fewer helpers and a smaller budget.

There's not the social pressure of entertaining the Duke and Duchess of Sutherland, but you'll still panic that guests won't mingle, they'll despise the food or worse they won't turn up.

It's particularly unnerving to host the party in your own home and it's usual to feel symptoms of impending disaster.

Anne Holman from RSVP special events has overseen many social gatherings, and pacifies nervous hosts by holding their hands every step of the way, from the invitations to the cleaning.

Holman's advice to novice hosts is to clear your head of potential social gaffes and address four basic questions: how many people, where do you want to have it, what type of food and what sort of entertainment?

She sensibly recommends today's hosts are well prepared before the event, as it's no fun if you're a shattered wreck by the time the guests arrive. As for the type of party you want to have, sit down with a friend and toss around a few ideas.

"I had one client who was turning 60 and had no idea of what she wanted. So we had a chat and I discovered she felt more like someone turning 16 than 60. She would have been 16 during the 50s rock'n'roll era. That's when we decided to have a Happy Days party."

Remember the TV show, Happy Days? Well Holman and her team constructed Arnold's diner in the host's family room, and if Fonzie didn't roll up on his motorbike, a lookalike Elvis surprised the host with a hip-grinding performance.

"I can't tell you how energetic those 60-year-old guests were. They just had a ball."

That's the key to hosting a good party: create the right atmosphere and the goodwill will flow, even if the pavlova doesn't rise to the occasion.

TV celebrity host and author of The Party Planner David Tutera says you should aim to evoke the five senses; taste, look, sound, scent and touch.

Cocktail parties, says Tutera may not be big productions but they still require some direction. Just like a good martini, the story line needs some shaking up.

"If there's no dramatic tension in the room, no sense of movement, what should feel like a party ends up feeling more like a product launch."

Tutera's tips include decluttering the house to create pathways, and spreading simple snacks around the room. Clever hosts will add mystery and drama by mixing up the menu with bold flavours and introducing new foods after a few hours.

You'll be too busy with the guests to mix cocktails, so hire a professional or convince a friend that making Midnight Martinis is loads of fun.

Artist Ani O'Neill's garden party to celebrate her 34th birthday set the scene with retro style. Resplendent in a vintage sequinned top, the leading lady welcomed guests just after 3pm to her sunny outdoor patio. Many guests came bearing bundles of exotic flowers, which sat perfectly alongside vintage Rarotonga souvenirs.

Artist Judy Darragh made fruit punch in the fabulous Cuckoo Art Collective punch bowl, which started as non-alcoholic, and accidentally acquired a bottle of pineapple and vanilla-infused rum.

Flatmate Natalie Robertson dusted off her collection of 70s Duraware melamine tea cups to serve the cocktails; a welcome respite from flimsy plasticware.

There was no sign of any afternoon tea or scones, but coffee was served in 70s Hornsea coffee cups. After dark, the party girl had one wish: all her flatmates and remaining friends had to watch her favourite movie, Grease.

Estella Leek had no trouble uncorking the champagne for her partner's 50th birthday party.

The challenge was compiling a guest list for a partner with dear friends scattered around the globe - and she wanted their arrival to be a surprise. She secretly contacted the overseas' contingent about a year before the event and over the following months emails flew about flights, accommodation, costumes and general party stuff.

The party theme was "All at Sea" and despite the best planning there were a few leaks. Her partner found out about a few guests before the party but Leek says that worked to her advantage; one Aussie couple, conveniently lodged in the neighbour's vacant house became key members of the planning team.

Not having the budget to overindulge on the nautical theme, the couple cleverly transformed a scrappy lawn by spreading blue polythene to recreate a stormy sea, hired a few key props, and filled their dingy with ice.

An inventive friend turned up with a bubble machine, and suddenly the party was underwater and the cocktails were flowing.

Leek, who looked adorable in a Marlene Dietrich-inspired white suit complete with sailor hat, says her biggest coup was hiring a live band.

"I made a huge point of getting everyone up dancing and after the band left, friends took over and played till dawn."

Holman says live music or entertainment should be top of your party list, and if you can't afford a professional then seek out talent among friends and family. Leek had her teenage son Ben perform a spectacular fire dance.

The invitation sets the tone for an evening and hooks in the guests. Architect Bill McKay took no heed of vegan sensibilities with his invitation to "come sacrifice the last lamb of summer". McKay has been hosting outdoor parties at his Waterview home for the past 10 years, often with artist Karl Maughan.

Plunging steeply toward a mangrove-fringed inlet, this half-acre property is a wild setting for a big gathering.

Last summer, the hosts set up long rows of trestle tables, disguising them with white cloths and wreaths of vines. The cheap bubbly flowed and the smell of the rotating lamb bathed in rosemary was intoxicating. McKay says guests always gravitate to the beast.

"Most people are repelled by the idea of roast lamb but once they smell it, they are completely seduced."

Take your cue from Mrs Stuyvesant Fish. Shake up the guests with a few surprises and you have a fabulous party mix.

Party tips

1. Your invitation sets the tone for your party so make it compelling. Don't forget to mention the word cocktail and the finishing time.

2. Meeting and greeting is essential, otherwise guests feel lost before the party begins.

3. Spread decorations around the room so people don't gravitate to a central place.

4. If the party is outdoors, take military-like precautions against mosquitoes, sunrays and other buggie things. Scatter rugs and cushions for comfort, and erect tents if necessary.

5. Appoint a friend or flatmate as photographer and don't blame them if they miss the cake shot.

6. For an outrageously cheap dip, take a can of baked beans, rinse, then put in a blender with garlic and sea salt. And don't plonk the food on one table, always scatter dishes around the room.

7. To instantly liven up a party, light up those super-long sparklers and dance in a circle.

8. Live bands are best but you'll have to book three to five months in advance.

9. Light a pathway in the dark with paper bags filled with sand and tea light candles.

10. Place the bar as far away from the front door as possible. To avoid watering down a pitcher of pre-mixed cocktails, add a ziplock bag filled with ice.

11. Mood lighting is essential and fairy lights are always a winner.

12. Like it or not, the host has to mingle.