Parenting expert reveals if it’s ever okay to discipline someone else’s child

Consider how you would feel if another parent intervened when your child was misbehaving. Photo / Getty Images

We’ve all been there: seeing someone else’s child acting out and their own parent appearing to do nothing about it. Or, worse, a child acting out against your child. But is there an appropriate way to react? Is it ever okay to step in and discipline another child?

In an article for Kidspot, Australian parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson shared his advice on how best to respond in these situations, which can arise anywhere and any time in a parenting journey.

Coulson says there are some clear lines that shouldn’t be crossed and some basic principles that can help guide us in these situations.

Firstly, he says it’s never okay to physically discipline someone else’s child, nor is it appropriate to threaten them.

Regardless of how much your own child might be misbehaving, consider how you would feel if someone else intervened in a way that harmed or frightened them. You should take the same stance when considering your actions towards another child, says Coulson.

He says if a child is acting out in a way that is concerning and affects your child, the best thing to do is to seek out their parent and alert them to the situation.

And while not all parents may have a reasonable response, Coulson says it’s the best bet to resolve things. He suggests telling them:

“I’m sorry to bother you. It seems that your child is a little upset. He/she has been hurting some of the kids in the playground. I thought I should just come over and let you know.”

He says you’re likely to get a positive reaction and resolution with this course of action, far more than if you had disciplined the child and that parent was left looking for the person who had frightened their little one.

If a scenario arises where you do need to take matters into your own hands, Coulson says it’s important to remember that discipline doesn’t mean punishment and consequence. Instead, if you can approach the situation, speaking to the child kindly and suggesting positive ways to behave, you shouldn’t find yourself in an altercation with another parent over your actions.

However, there will be some situations where the best course of action is to leave. If a parent and their child both appear aggressive or anti-social, removing yourself and your child from the space may be the safest choice.