Ozzy keeps pants up in front of Queen

Ozzy Osbourne

Ozzy Osbourne admits he was a few beers away from mooning Queen Elizabeth and cannot fathom why she would want to meet the "tattooed lunatic".

He said former Guns N' Roses guitarist Slash offered him £5000 ($12,500) cash to flash his backside at the Royal Variety Show last month and, had he not quit his wildman boozing days, he would have had the bare-faced cheek.

"It was a surreal night. I was standing next to that muppet thingy, Kermit the Frog, with Rod Stewart punching it in the head. Crazy."