Deciding between marriage and a mortgage is the reality for most young couples. Photo / Getty Images
Deciding between marriage and a mortgage is the reality for most young couples. Photo / Getty Images
OPINION:
While I've never been someone who dreams about their wedding day and has an immaculate Pinterest board full of bouquets and bridal veils, I can appreciate just how important it is for two people to celebrate how much they love each other.
What I don't understand is why they would willingly drop a house deposit's worth of cash on one big day.
But that's what new Netflix series Marriage or Mortgage demonstrates - a bizarre mix of Say Yes To The Dress and House Hunters that brings home the glaring reality that you really can't have it all.
The show forces cash-strapped couples to choose between splashing out on their dream wedding or signing up for a hefty mortgage so they can own their own home.
The show is hosted by Nashville-based real estate agent Nichole Holmes and wedding planner Sarah Miller, who basically compete to win clients in the form of newly engaged, low-on-cash couples. And it seems there are no compromises on offer.
Maybe it's that homeownership is still somehow the quintessential Kiwi dream even as it gets further and further away from reality, but to me, the choice seems obvious.
If you have the money, spending big on a house makes sense. It's an investment - somewhere you can put down roots, raise a family, draw on the walls if you want to.
Spending thousands on one day centred around a ceremony that can be done and dusted in five minutes, a dress you'll only wear once and a sit-down dinner for distant relatives - who'll get offended if you don't invite them - seems wasteful. But maybe that's my Dutch heritage talking.
Each episode of the Netflix series follows a couple trying to decide: have their dream wedding, or own their own home? Photo / Netflix
The fact is, people need houses to live in (whether you really need to own them is another question - but the fact it's no longer an option for so many people is a problem in itself). Extravagant weddings, on the other hand, are a luxury.
Cupcake towers and expensive gowns aren't what make a wedding day happy, and neither do ranch dressing fountains, for which one bride on Marriage or Mortgage sacrificed her homeownership dreams (yes, you read that right).
Covid showed us it's possible to downsize and DIY your wedding without sacrificing what it's really all about – the love you're celebrating and the special memories you're making. But this idea never seems to cross the couples' minds.
The show features a wedding planner and a real estate agent competing for the hard-earned cash of newly-engaged couples. Photo / Netflix
The irony of the show is that it was filmed amid Covid, so even if the couples do choose the wedding option, many of them end up having to downsize their ceremonies and celebrations anyway, and you know what? They still manage to have the best day of their lives.
Their families still gather around them, there are tears, hugs, beautiful dresses, incredible food, dancing until dawn.
That's what weddings are about - not spending all your hard-earned savings on a single day. Why not put it towards a place to call your own instead?
