There are many things that make us who we are as a nation.
There’s our farming lifestyles, our love for the pavlova and of course the mighty All Blacks. But it turns out that there’s one thing that tells us a lot more about ourselves than we may have thought - our choice of emoji.
Every Kiwi dad, millennial and over-excited aunt has that emoji that defines them and sits at the very top of their most frequently used list. For me, it’s the dancing woman because, if nothing else, life is a party.
Here are the emojis that define our great nation and the tea that they spill about their users.
Thumbs up:
Thumbs up. Photo / emojipedia.com
The first time you received the thumbs-up text from Dad you were 13 and felt like your world was crumbling down. Why? Because all Millennials and Gen Z’s know this emoji means someone absolutely cannot be bothered with your drama.
Dads wear their white New Balances, Levi jeans, and Chisel T-shirt from Farmers as their going-out outfit and throw this emoji around like it’s the glue that holds the family together.
It doesn’t matter if you’re announcing the birth of his first grandchild or telling him you crashed your car, the thumbs-up emoji knows no limit. If anything, it has range and a Kiwi Dad is the only one who truly understands it.
Heart eyes:
Heart eyes. Photo / emojipedia.com
Aunty Barbara, from the mighty Waikato overuses this emoji so much it’s made you consider emailing Apple and asking them to put a daily use limit on it.
She’s the kindest of souls, somewhere in her late 50s with either a beloved cat or one of those white dogs with crusty eyes. She loves to update the family group chat fifty times a day, “pumpkin soup for lunch *heart eye emoji*, bumble bee sitting on some flowers *heart eye emoji*, George Clooney in his latest movie *heart eye emoji*”.
Unfortunately, she sometimes uses the emoji in the worst context like the time she said “aren’t grandma’s funeral flowers so beautiful *heart eye emoji x 10*.
Heart hands:
Heart hands. Photo / emojipedia.com
Charli is your brother’s 17-year-old daughter and everything about her confuses you.
What does “slay” mean? What is the “TikTok”, why does she care about global warming and vote for the Green party? Most importantly, why does she send the hands making a heart emoji after absolutely every message?
As the Gen Z of the family, she loves to start arguments with the boomers and call them out for not being woke, but at the end of the day it’s all in the name of love. Most notably, she loves to serve up the most brutal burn in the group chat and sign off with something like “Another day, another slay *hands making a heart emoji*” leaving you hella confused.
Someone please call Chlöe Swarbrick.
Laughing face:
Laughing face. Photo / emojipedia.com
It might be the cheugiest of cheugy emojis but Jessica doesn’t care. She’s a millennial and as the emoji pioneer, it’s her prerogative to use the laughing emoji as much as she wants.
She has a minimum of three cups of All Press coffee each day, is probably in a managerial position at your work and if Charli even thinks about making fun of her loyal Glassons skinny jeans and side part, you better take cover.
The laughing face emoji is her most used and it’s mainly because she thinks her life is a cruel joke, but that’s a story for her therapist.
Praying hands:
Praying hands emoji. Photo / emojipedia.com
His real name is Jacob but his mates call him Junior. No one knows why and no one – except his mum – really cares. He loves the silky boxers and low-riding pants combo, topping off every outfit with a thin gold chain he got for Christmas. Despite looking like he would break your heart, he’s actually a pretty sweet guy.
You’ll never catch him saying YOLO because that’s so 2012 but every heavily gym-focused Instagram post ends in #blessed *praying hands emoji* which he uses more often than his Jets swipe tag.
His Spotify Wrapped is full of old-school rap like 2Pac, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg and 50 Cent and he most definitely drives a 1999 Honda Civic with fluffy dice unironically hanging off the rear vision mirror.
Party popper:
Party popper. Photo / emojipedia.com
This emoji is a mum’s special. While Dad’s thumbs-up gives you anxiety, a Kiwi Mum’s party popper emoji leaves you feeling like you’ve just got a gold star for your chart.
Always proud of you and celebrating even the smallest achievement - like only buying one coffee for the day – Tanya knows the firework emoji is appropriate for almost every occasion especially if you’ve just made it through the hardest of days.
Remember that time you nabbed that first job at Chipmunks? Or sent her a photo of the stirfry you made for dinner - that includes at least three vegetables? Mum had your back with that party popper and you knew it.
Angry face:
Angry face. Photo / emojipedia.com
Kevin loves to dabble in the comment section of Facebook. He most definitely hates Greta Thunberg and tends to sit in the corner on Christmas day because no one can be bothered talking about the latest conspiracy theory he has about the media.
His social media profile picture is a selfie of him wearing a Hunting and Fishing bucket hat, sunglasses and he kind of looks like Ron Swanson from Parks and Recreation. It’s also very obvious he took the photo right there on his webcam that looks right up his nose. Lush.
He uses the angry emoji far too often and loves to make fun of “social justice warriors” while blatantly ignoring the fact that he is the worst kind of warrior – a keyboard warrior.
