Opinion: What a Christmas party made me realise about my husband

Opinion: A Christmas party made me realise who I really wanted to spend time with. Photo / Getty Images

I am a good talker if I do say so myself. I can talk to anyone and have been told by many people that there are things they would only ever consider revealing to me.

They say it's because I won't judge them and that I'm difficult to shock or offend, so they like to offload outrageous stories, statements and sentiments.

But it turns out, a Christmas party made me realise the one person I really wanted to be having a conversation with.

As I write this my husband and I are just home from a Christmas party. Despite conversing with and being surrounded by people younger and older, some wise, some out there and many interesting, I found myself gravitating back to one person throughout the evening. My husband.

I'm not sure there are many couples who have spent as much time together as my husband and I and lived to tell the tale.

Most couples work, have children, then wind down and enjoy unencumbered time together. We did the opposite. We started off free to do as we pleased, spent all of our time together, travelled and set up shop in different countries twice. Then work came into the picture. Then a baby, and then more work.

When our daughter was small we gave some extra hours to a friend's nanny and decided that one night a week we'd play tennis, and on another, we'd have a date night.

It was fine in theory but the enthusiasm for date nights waned to the point where we gave up. If I'm honest I wasn't in the right space for making meaningful conversation with anyone and I'd rather have a hot bath and read a book in silence.

Nowadays with a child in the mix it's more family date night than couple's retreat. Fed up with not being able to eat at a decent restaurant, a few years ago we decided we'd start booking a table for 5pm so our daughter could eat the bread basket and then hop on the iPad while we enjoyed a good meal and were home before it was dark. It gave us the chance to eat somewhere a little fancy, but it still didn't qualify for quality couple time.

Tonight, however, was one of those rare nights where things fell into place. Our daughter was with my parents, the most trusted, reliable and loved of any babysitters. Not only that, but we were two hours away, so there was no guilt about getting home at a reasonable time to get back on duty.

Lately, through what can only be described as a commercial annus horribilis for our family, my husband has only looked forwards, never backwards. He hasn't blamed anyone or anything. He stepped into responsibility and he has been laser-focused on getting us through as best he could. While I assumed Stepford Wife duties, he fought for us.

At times the conversation has been light and inconsequential, at times it's been heavy and hard. But tonight, as much as we were surrounded by friends and acquaintances, all I really wanted was to be right next to him, and as we looked each other in the eyes, shared laughter and enjoyed being in each other's presence, there was a lightness in my heart.

Sure, sometimes my husband makes me want to tear his face off, but this weekend proved that what I need occasionally is some time in a crowd of friends to remind me of the one person I want to be standing next to.