The Princess of Wales at the opening of the Young V&A in London, June 28, 2023. Photo / AP
The Princess of Wales at the opening of the Young V&A in London, June 28, 2023. Photo / AP
OPINION:
Newsflash: the Princess of Wales has put a foot wrong. (Not really wrong, obviously, we’re not talking “doing a Lady Susan” or wearing an offensive brooch). At the opening of the Young V&A, she put a finger to her lips and told a group of inquisitive primary school children:“I’m 41. Shh, don’t tell anyone.”
That’s it? Admittedly it seems harmless, even rather sweet, but it’s the “shh don’t tell” part that’s troubling us, communicating as it does the message that 41 is not an age you want to advertise even if you’re Kate: a bit too old, a bit past it, something to be kept secret, if possible. Had any man in the room been asked the same question he’d have answered loud and clear, 41, 61, it makes no difference to them.
Can you picture Prince William whispering his age – “keep that to yourselves, guys”? Of course not. He’s a man, when he gets to 60 he’ll sulk for a week and then it’ll be business as usual. Women are conscious of being too old before they’re halfway through life.
Age self-shaming is a small thing, but nonetheless one of many small things women do that we need to stop doing if we want to keep chipping away at those years of conditioning.
2. Asking your daughter to make the beds/buy the flowers/make sure everyone gets up in time to make it to the airport, not because she is the eldest but because she is FEMALE and takes responsibility for others (largely because you have always expected her to).
3. “How’s work?” (Opening question to young male); “I love your hair,” (opening observation to young female).
4. Saying: “I couldn’t possibly work a Phillips screwdriver/drive a mower. I’ll get a man to do it.”
Lawnmowing - also an equal opportunity chore.
5. Saying: “Oh a woman judge/neurosurgeon/army medic … So awful isn’t it, I just assumed it was a man”.
6. Having different coupling up expectations: we know Mark won’t settle down for years (heh heh) but it would be SO nice if Ginny found a lovely man. Wouldn’t it be lovely if Ginny found someone, soon.
7. Having very different teeth, hair and fingernails expectations of the YA females.
8. Thinking it’s a bit unnatural if women have zero interest in cooking.
9. If your friends’ house is a tip, automatically holding her, not him, responsible.
10. If your friends’ children are a bit of a nightmare, automatically holding her, not him, responsible.
Both mum and dad are responsible for this. Photo / Getty Images
11. If your friends are very bad at keeping in touch, remembering birthdays etcetera, automatically holding her, not him, responsible.
12. If a man leaves his wife for another single woman, singling her out as the home wrecker.
13. Having tweakments and lying about it, therefore contributing to the perception that it’s normal to look how you look at 30 well into your 60s.
14. Endorsing the word tweakments, thereby making invasive, face-altering procedures sound like something feminine and fun and delightful.
Tweakments: a stupid word. Photo / Getty Images
15. Shaving five years off your age.
16. Not lying about your age but subscribing to the whole “no-one asks a lady how old she is” way of thinking because in that world no one takes ladies terribly seriously.
17. Constantly comparing yourself with other women, not on the basis of happiness and fulfilment but how good and fit you look for your age. Also being absolutely blown away happy and telling all your friends if a member of the public does a double take when presented with your senior rail card/driving licence.
18. Being disappointed in women who are a bit unkempt (when, note, the more men look like Boris the more love they get).
Shane Watson is a columnist at the Daily Telegraph
