Preparing for her second mastectomy, the beauty expert is focusing on positivity.
Breast cancer survivor Dr Cat Stone likes to think of herself as a piece of kintsugi. The ancient Japanese art involves mending broken pottery with gold, transforming it into something more exquisite. In the past four-and-a-half years she’s almost lost count of the number of surgeries and procedures she’s endured. When we speak, she is mentally preparing to have her second breast removed, a precautionary measure after a high-grade pre-cancerous lump and potentially dangerous calcifications in the tissue were found.
“You’ve got me on a bad day,” she says, dissolving into tears on a Zoom call from home, a few days before the surgery. “Most of the time I’m like, ‘yay, this is the end of the journey’. But this morning I woke up and it was a beautiful day after all the rain … and then …” Her voice breaks. “Oh, I’m losing my breast. It’s just … it’s hard.”
The cosmetic medicine doctor and self-described “eternal optimist” behind the award-winning The Face Place clinic has had to dig deep to find the silver linings and learnings, many of which she’s shared with her 14,600 social media followers since that first diagnosis in 2020. Likewise, turning something that could have been emotionally insurmountable into a positive experience with purpose is what has led her to document her journey. Photographer Peter Morris has captured her before and after surgical photos for a new book, The Beauty of Survival, and though it’s still in its conceptual stages, Cat plans to include tales from other survivors and release it in time for next year’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
When Stone was first diagnosed, panic set in as she found herself confronting her mortality.
“Then fortunately I realised, no, I’m not going to die. But when I found out I was going to lose the first breast, I cried for four days thinking I was never going to be sexy again.”
To overturn this thinking she envisaged a coffee table book with “beautiful photos of different journeys from all sorts of survivors,” along with practical tips from the front line, such as self-care routines and how to best support others going through similar ordeals. Through her clinical work in the sexual rejuvenation side of her business (she’s also working on another book called Grow Younger with Great Sex), she has come to know a raft of women who’ve been through the breast cancer mill, some of whom are The Face Place staff.
Stone says her work has always been about helping people, and it’s no different now that she’s needing support herself. That, and the fact that one in nine New Zealanders will get breast cancer in their lifetime.
“I have too many friends who have experienced or are going through breast cancer,” she says. “All of us deal with it completely differently and that’s okay. For me, sharing my journey was part of the healing process, and the book and the photos are part of that. It’s also why I want to share this experience with other breast cancer survivors, because the photos are about bringing out the beauty of the scars.”
It wasn’t always so easy to be positive, she confesses. In 2021 she had her first mastectomy, followed by radiotherapy. A rare reaction to Tamoxifen, a drug commonly administered to women with breast cancer, led to extreme fatigue, cognitive issues, intense rage and, before she and her oncologist agreed she should come off it, suicidal thoughts.
“I’d be driving my scooter and think, ‘I wonder what it would be like if I just drove into the other side of the road.’”
Though her mental health improved as soon as she stopped the drug, there was a rough ride ahead. Her father’s cancer diagnosis. The reappearance of the cancer she thought she’d beaten. A new discovery of gynaecological issues. Last year she underwent reconstructive breast surgery, and nursed her father until his death in October. In January this year, she had a hysterectomy after a suspicious lump next to her ovary was found to have grown 2cm in six months. You could’ve forgiven her for planning a 50th birthday celebration that involved chilling at home with a cup of tea. But figuring she was finally getting things back to normal, she went ahead and booked a trip to the Galapagos Islands in August, and another to Mexico for her mother’s 70th birthday in November.
However, she’d lost weight before her birthday trip and had found a lump in her remaining breast. A test was done, then while she was away she received the results while standing in a stressfully long immigration line, concerned she wouldn’t make her connecting flight from Denver.
A mammogram on her return found she had 10cm of calcification – “My breast looked like a snowstorm,” she says – and would need an urgent mastectomy. Before she’d properly processed the grief for the loss of her second breast, and the possibility she’d need to cancel the Mexico trip, Stone says she was determined to share her story for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
The day of that fateful scan marked nine years since the passing of her good friend, TV star Helena McAlpine, who’d publicly shared her breast cancer story and helped to fundraise for the Breast Cancer Foundation.
“It was poetic in a way because watching her share her journey and the impact that it had for so many people was part of the motivation for me sharing mine. I really saw it galvanised in her a reason for living,” says Stone. “From my experience, one of the biggest joys I’ve had has been the number of people who have reached out and shared their stories or said, ‘I’ve got a friend who’s just going through breast cancer or has just been diagnosed and I’ve shared your page with her, and it’s really helped.’ That’s been super powerful for me.
“I consider myself very fortunate. There’s lots of blessings I’ve received through this journey. One of them is just recognising how supported I am. I’ve got wonderful friends who are incredibly supportive and just wrapped around me. I’ve had so many people offering to drive me and pick me up and bring me food and come visit, which is just wonderful. It’s times like this where I’ve realised how many people are there for me.”
Likewise, she says her team have been phenomenal at stepping up as she’s pared back her hours. Working part-time has provided another blessing, allowing her the time to support and spend time with her father before he died. Being with someone with cancer is the most important thing you can do, she says, and allowing and acknowledging their many emotions, whatever they may be at the time.
“I actually feel like supporting someone is often harder than going through the journey yourself,” she adds. “As the person going through the journey, you’re often the centre of attention and people are putting energy into you. Whereas, people forget that the supporters need support. So I think for people supporting someone going through breast cancer, don’t forget to look after yourself as well.”
Now, as she looks cautiously confident to the future, her hope is that speaking out will remind women to self-check their breasts, and to do so regularly – and to let others going through similar experiences know they are not alone.
“There’s lots of really good things that have come from the cancer journey,” she insists. “One is that I have slowed down and started to realise that there’s more to life than just working, even though I absolutely adore what we do and the impact that we have. The other is just how supported we actually are when things go down. And then there’s the joy of being able to have an impact for others, even when things are not great. To take something and turn it into a positive.”
For more information about Dr Cat Stone, see her website - drcatstone.com
Breast Cancer Awareness Month’s Pink Ribbon Street Appeal takes place on Friday October 15 to Saturday October 16. breastcancerfoundation.org.nz
The new free open-air saltwater pool is already proving popular.