Rumination is common, but it doesn’t have to control your mood. Photo / 123rf
Rumination is common, but it doesn’t have to control your mood. Photo / 123rf
Ruminating is common to many of us, but can spell bad news for your mood and anxiety. Here’s how to beat it
As a therapist, I see people literally thinking their lives away. They exist in their heads, listening to the constant chatter of: “What’s happened? What mighthappen? What if I do this? What if I don’t do that?”
Put more simply, to ruminate is to think deeply or to overthink. It’s a well-known psychological state and common to many of us – I’m certainly not exempt from it.
Overthinking is common in many mental health presentations including anxiety disorders, depression and trauma, to name a few. It is also common to ruminate over the challenges of everyday life: past, present and future.
The problem is that people view their mind as the voice of wisdom; they believe it is factual when that’s not always the case. When your brain recognises that you are upset or unsettled, it will start creating stories to resolve, understand, prevent, avoid or even neutralise your experience. And while the thoughts sound rational, they are often just a series of random cognitive events with often no deeper significance.
For example, in the case of someone feeling sad after losing a loved one, the brain may replay events repeatedly, as if it’s almost hoping that somewhere within the stories there might be an answer to the enormity of the loss.
When someone is anxious, they will again ruminate, creating an entire series of thoughts about what could go wrong or what they might do more of, less of, or avoid to prevent a catastrophe happening.
Your brain is like a guard presenting every possibility, “just in case” something goes wrong. The reality is most of the time nothing goes wrong.
Overthinking often stems from the brain trying to protect you, even when it isn’t needed. Photo / 123rf
What causes rumination?
That’s the million dollar question, and it can be multifactorial. Causes can include growing up in a family where your mother or father was prone to overthinking, going through a difficult period in your life or having a personality type that disposes you to worry or over-reflection. Some people’s brain are simply “wired differently” and function in different ways, for example those with OCD or ADHD. Using alcohol or drugs can also cause people to have repetitive or intrusive thoughts.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. There are many things you can do to improve your mood or reduce your anxiety simply by managing your overthinking.
Here are my top nine suggestions.
1. Recognise the pattern
Overthinking is very often a protective mechanism – your brain is doing what it thinks it should be doing, it wants to find a solution. But however often you go through this process, it won’t change anything. The moment you can stop and recognise overthinking for what it is, you are step ahead of the game. Instead of getting overly involved with the thoughts, my suggestion is you simply say aloud to yourself, “my mind is overthinking. I don’t need to listen”. It’s an instant means of neutralising and disrupting the pattern.
Rumination is a common feature in anxiety, depression, and trauma disorders. Photo / 123rf
2. Realise that it’s not personal
Rumination is a symptom, nothing more. Your brain may be on overdrive. It may be asking: can I cope? What’s wrong with me? Is it my fault? It may even be telling you that you aren’t lovable, that you are helpless or that everything is hopeless.
When you recognise you are overthinking, it’s always worth remembering: “this is not personal”, it’s just your brain doing it’s thing and you don’t need to listen to it. If you can reframe it as a mind that’s working too hard to protect you, it will feel more manageable.
3. Don’t try to stop your thoughts: observe them instead
It’s a myth that we can stop our thoughts: you can’t “stop” a thought – they will come and go regardless. That said, you can slow your thoughts down and reduce their intensity. A powerful way of doing this is by learning to observe them with a sense of neutrality. I suggest to people to see them like clouds that come and go. “Here comes an angry thought. Here comes a worried thought. Here comes a self-pitying thought.”
Watch the thought come. Don’t engage with it. Let it pass by.
I also suggest trying to adapt a sense of curiosity about the thoughts rather than get overly engrossed in them. This becomes more of a “that’s interesting” rather than, “what must that mean?” Thoughts are not facts.
Thoughts aren’t facts - many of our worries are just cognitive events, not reality. Photo / 123rf
4. Enlist the help of your body
Essentially your goal is to quieten your thoughts by starting with the body. The general ideal is that when you relax the body, the mind follows.
There are several ways of doing this, and everyone has their own. But they can include: meditation, yoga, running, stretching, Pilates, dancing, or even walking. I don’t want to be too prescriptive, as it’s a very personal choice, but remember that one of the most effective ways of reducing overthinking is to get moving in whatever capacity you can manage.
Physical movement, like yoga or walking, can help quieten overactive thoughts. Photo / 123rf
5. Breathe your way to a quieter mind
Breath work is one of the most popular techniques in psychology, neuroscience and eastern spirituality to help with our overactive minds.
My favourite breathing technique is known as “box breathing” and it works a treat.
Sit quietly for a few moments somewhere private and ideally uninterrupted. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four; hold your breath for a count of four; release your breath on a count of four; hold for a count of four; breathe in for a count of four.
Repeat these three or four times and notice how your mind has settled.
Box breathing - a technique of controlled breathing - can quickly calm your mind. Photo / 123rf
6. Repeat, repeat, repeat with a mantra
Repeating a mantra or phrase to yourself quietly for a few minutes is a powerful way of reducing rumination. When you give the mind a direction to repeat a phrase over and over, it does not have the space to create new thoughts.
Realistically interruptions will occur, and new thoughts will try to enter. However, each time this happens you simply return to repeating the mantra, which can be anything you choose, and it can be changed every day. For example, it could be “I am calm and strong”, or “I will handle this”. This is something I practise regularly.
Using mantras, like 'I am calm,' helps disrupt rumination by filling your mind with something positive. Photo / 123rf
7. Try ‘conscious focus’
Conscious focus involves directing your entire attention towards something like a lit candle, an image, a sound, or even a smell. Every time a distraction returns your mind to the chosen focus. Again, this can be a very powerful way to deal with overthinking.
8. Ask yourself: am I clinging, resisting or fighting?
Overthinking or rumination is often maintained by our approach to life. In my experience as a therapist, I have learnt that there is no point in clinging to the past or resisting what might be to come.
We often cling to things because we find it hard to let go; we resist life and believe it should be different to what it is, or we fight life and try to change the unchangeable.
If you are feeling distressed, and you notice you are overthinking, I invite you to ask yourself three simple questions:
Am I clinging to the past?
Am I resisting life as it is?
Am I fighting life with anger and resentment?
If the answer to any of these is yes, then you are likely feeding rumination.
The solution is to try the alternative. Don’t cling. Don’t resist. Don’t fight.
9. Don’t beat yourself up
We all overthink sometimes and get caught in patterns. Don’t give yourself a hard time about this. The more self-compassionate you can be, the quieter your mind will become.
As told to Miranda Levy
Owen O’Kane is a psychotherapist and the author of How To Be Your Own Therapist.
