We are a nation of drinkers and we are drinking ever more. In 2021, there were over 9600 alcohol-related deaths in the UK: the highest on record. According to recent figures from Alcohol Change UK, 24 per cent of adults regularly consume more than the government guidelines of 14 units a week – a 2018 survey from the World Health Organisation (WHO) suggested it was actually more like 22 units per capita, per week, for over 15s.
Gone are the days when we could kid ourselves that alcohol wasn’t really that bad for us. Earlier this year, the WHO claimed that no amount of alcohol is safe, and in mid-September the World Cancer Research Fund pushed for warning labels, similar to those currently seen on tobacco packets, to be displayed on alcohol products.
It’s now nine years since the Macmillan Cancer Charity launched the first Sober October initiative. What better time to ask yourself whether reaching for that finger of bourbon after dinner really is worth it?
Whether you’re aiming for a complete booze standstill, or a bit less liquid lubrication, here are nine tips to help you reach your goal.
1. Remind yourself going sober is really good for you
From increased brain function to weight loss, the evidence is conclusive – a less boozy lifestyle is beneficial for your well-being. Alcohol is a causal factor in more than 60 medical conditions, including mouth, throat, stomach, liver and breast cancers, high blood pressure, cirrhosis of the liver and depression, according to a statement from the Office for Health Improvement & Disparities (OHID).
Booze is high in calories. Not only is that 175ml glass of vino around 140 (empty) calories – but it can also stimulate your appetite because it increases the flow of stomach juices, meaning you are more likely to reach for carb-laden foods.
Studies also show that alcohol disrupts the growth of new brain cells, so cutting back will diminish your risk of dementia, while your heart will thank you because you are lowering the odds of suffering a stroke, high blood pressure and cardiac arrest.
You may even have a better sex life. Alcohol can play havoc with the production of testosterone in males and deaden the messaging system in the brain which helps to maintain erections.
Your sleep also suffers. Just a few beverages can disrupt our circadian rhythm, meaning you wake up in the early hours for the loo, suffer night sweats and experience less restorative REM sleep. Not to mention those morning-after headaches and ongoing memory loss.
But the good news is that when you do stop, alcohol generally leaves the body quickly (up to six hours in your blood and up to 24 hours in your urine). If you continue to abstain, depending on the levels you would normally consume, you can reduce your risk of alcohol-related health issues within just a few weeks.
2. Expect the first few days to be tough
Karen Tyrel is CEO of the charity Drinkaware. “Alcohol is a depressant and can affect our judgement, decision-making and social behaviour,” she says. “When you stop drinking, some of the negative impacts can linger in the short term, resulting in what’s often referred to as ‘hangxiety’.”
So if you take a break from alcohol, like any readjustment to your lifestyle, it’s normal to feel off-kilter for a while, and depending on your levels of consumption, it could take a few weeks for things to settle down. If you are using alcohol to numb difficult feelings, prepare for these feelings to rise back disturbingly when you abstain.
3. Steel yourself for some tricky realisations
A sober mind may bring more clarity, but that can also go hand in hand with certain hard realisations about yourself and your situation.
“In sobriety, I’d encourage my clients to face these feelings,” says Lucy Myers, chair of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy’s coaching division. “Perhaps consider the emotional reasons behind why you used drinking as a coping mechanism. If alcohol is always the go-to response to obliterating insecurity, anger or fear, a person will struggle to manage uncomfortable feelings in their everyday life.”
4. Let family and friends know you’re going sober
This “new you” can be unsettling for some people. Maybe they (and you) wonder if there is any fun to be had together anymore. Might you judge them if they drink and you don’t? Maybe they will worry you won’t like them anymore. Or perhaps they would love to follow your example and don’t know how.
Dr Richard Piper, CEO of Alcohol Change UK, recommends making yourself accountable to your friends and family. “Ask them to support your decision,” he says. “If you’d like them not to offer you a drink or not to drink around you, then let them know.
“Tell people in advance that you won’t be drinking. It’s so important to have a support network in place; people who won’t pressure you into drinking and to encourage you if things get tricky.”
Psychotherapist Lola Borg adds: “Of course, the hope is that close friends and family will cheer you on in your decision not to drink, but you have no obligation to announce your decision to everyone. And if someone tries to sabotage what you are doing – ‘Oh come on! Just a small one’ – then feel free to avoid them (if you can) so you are not derailed.”
5. Prepare in advance for socialising without alcohol
Ownership of your situation is key, says Lucy Myers. “In other words, consider beforehand how you want to behave and what outcomes you want to achieve. If you feel on top of your decision-making, you’re more likely to put practical safeguards in place.”
These can mean preparing for success by telling your party host you are sober and asking if they have alcohol-free options (or taking your own), and making an intentional decision up front: ‘I’ll stay for an hour or two then if I am feeling things are getting too boozy for me, I’ll have an exit strategy.’
Socialising involves a lot more than hitting the bottle. Rather than seeing a ‘dry night’ as a negative, grasp the opportunity to meet interesting people, eat great food, have a dance, learn something new, enjoy the adventure. One thing’s for sure, you’ll remember it all the next day.
6. How to cope with your alcohol triggers
Ben Affleck once reportedly took a sober coach to the Oscars to make sure he didn’t indulge. There are other more accessible supports to help you avoid your triggers, like the numerous free apps for your phone: MyDrinkaware or Alcohol Change UK’s Try Dry, or the NHS’s Drink Free Days or Drink Less are all great. You might also want to listen to Laura Willoughby’s inspiring Club Soda podcast. After 10 years sober, she has some good insights on the subject.
David McLaughlan, a psychiatrist at The Priory Hospital, is co-founder of Curb, a platform that uses AI to deliver evidence-based interventions to help people change their relationship with alcohol. “Our dashboard presents your triggers back to you, empowering you to understand what your triggers are and how best to manage or avoid them,” McLaughlan says.
Above all, it’s helpful to remember that in the process of giving up or cutting back, no one approach suits all. Different things work for different people at different times, and it might be trial and error to discover what works best for you.
7. Convince yourself you can have fun without alcohol (you really can)
In order to succeed in going sober, you will need to think and behave differently. Rather than always going to the pub, you may need to dedicate your time to more sober activities like exercise, classes, volunteering and meeting friends for lunch rather than in the evening.
Andrew Misell is director at Alcohol Change UK. “Many of us use alcohol as our go-to way to have fun, de-stress or treat ourselves,” he says. “So thinking of new ways to enjoy life without alcohol can be really helpful in breaking the association between alcohol and rewarding yourself.”
And, of course, any change in lifestyle can be discombobulating initially. But rewards can be reaped from feeling fitter, calmer and more cultured. And if you do want to socialise in an environment where booze is flowing, take heart in the growth and improved options of the alternative drinks market. Half the UK population bought a no-alcohol or low-alcohol product in 2022, and consumption will increase by a third by 2026 says IWSR, a company that analyses drinks trends.
8. And if you fall off the wagon ... go again
Without guilt, shame or what-ifs. We are human, mistakes are made and you are trying really hard; the most important thing is to not feel judged by others or, worse, condemn yourself. So, reward the good: ‘I drank today but I stopped at two glasses. I didn’t drink three’.
“Try and understand what led to you falling off the wagon on this occasion,” David McLaughlan suggests. “It’s a learning experience. What brought you to this situation, how could you prevent it from happening again and how would you manage this situation differently next time? It’s all about attempting to keep moving forward.”
9. Consider cutting back (or even giving up) for good
There are enough memoirs on the topic to convince folks that the hell of serious boozing is no easy way to exist and life without the bottle is so much shinier. In Matthew Perry’s book, Friends, Lovers and The Big Terrible Thing, he says: “Drinkers think they are trying to escape, but really they are trying to overcome a mental disorder they didn’t know they had.”
Acknowledge that you will need help and encouragement, in whatever form that takes: an app on your phone, a partner who is abstaining alongside you or regular meetings at a peer group. But above all, you have got to really want to do it.
Because, further down the line, in your more lucid future, there is the potential to be fitter, stronger, sharper, richer, nicer, cheerier, healthier, sexier… it’s an appealing prospect.
Heavy drinkers – here’s how to cut down
Government statistics say over 1.4 million people are dependent on alcohol in the UK. If you are a heavy drinker, stopping is going to be harder.
Withdrawal symptoms can include sweats, nausea, the shakes, brain fog and anxiety; you may find it hard to concentrate or sleep well. In extreme cases, you could experience hallucinations and seizures. You’ll need a lot of support, and success is more likely when people reach out for help. So be open with your friends and family about what you are going through.
Your GP will be able to give you advice and direct you to a specialist alcohol support service. One-on-one counselling is another option, plus Alcoholics Anonymous has nearly 90 years of experience offering peer meetings and sponsorship. Their only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
As a starting point, if you are concerned about your intake, take Drinkaware’s self-assessment test or the Alcohol Use Disorders Identification Test (AUDIT). They are both online screening tools used to assess whether someone is at higher risk.
