KEY POINTS:
Is there anything more satisfying than eating the fish you caught yourself? Not when your personal chef has infused it with citrus flavours and served it on a bed of cous-cous, and you happen to be lunching on the deck of a luxury catamaran, moored off the stunning coast of Great Barrier Island. Did I mention I caught a fish?
It's day four aboard Island Passage, a new 42m (138ft) vessel on its third cruise around the Hauraki Gulf. The five-night excursion set out from Auckland on Sunday, cruised to the northern side of Waiheke, on to the Coromandel, and across the Colville Channel to the Barrier. If the weather is good tomorrow we'll head to the remote Mokohinau Islands, then stop at Kawau and Tiritiri Matangi on the home stretch.
Our first taste of fish is perched daintily on cucumber canapes, and washed down with champagne, a welcoming gesture as we board at Princes Wharf . We settled into the kauri loungers on the main deck, imagining we'll stay this way for most of the trip. But at 6pm the helicopter arrives so we shoot up to the upper deck to get a better view as it lands (yes, - on the boat).
This Cat has a commanding presence in the water but it's no Queen Mary. It's more of a floating mansion. It can carry 200 but it sleeps just 22. It boasts a large diningroom, library, three tender boats, top-notch fishing and snorkelling gear, and kayaks - plus access to the chopper.
Our eight crew members wander about barefoot, happy to pour a drink, take us to shore or just have a yarn.
I'd imagine you could survive anonymously on one of those big cruise ships, not saying boo to anyone for days. I'd envisaged the same of Island Passage: long, lazy days lying in a lounger, reading a book as the ocean sloshes by.
Trouble is, the company is too good. We dine and drink cocktails with our fellow passengers and even bond over the Superbowl, which we watch on the big-screen TV with the nice couple from Chicago.
On day three, two couples depart in the chopper as we wave solemnly goodbye, and another two arrive. We've all swapped phone numbers by the end of the trip.
But my favourite person on the boat is the chef. Behold a typical meal: eye fillet steak with bok choy, potato and lemon-butter jus. Pesto-stuffed chicken wrapped in prosciutto. Salmon with nori and wasabi aioli. Cheesecake, chocolate cake, tiramisu. French toast, omelette, bubble'n'squeak. Scones, muffins, sausage rolls.
And just when I thought my carb count couldn't get any higher, hotdogs. All lovingly prepared by the man who declares himself "a chef not a nutritionist". Imagine six days of this cuisine bliss - I'm surprised we don't sink.
Owner Peter Bissett grew up around here, and moved to Japan where he worked in the shipping industry. When he returned to New Zealand, he fell in love with the Gulf all over again so he set about building Island Passage in Nelson.
With its spacious rooms featuring all the high-tech gadgetry of a high-class hotel, it's a testament to Bissett's appreciation of space and comfort after 12 years of living in the cramped mecca of Tokyo.
As well as taking passengers on the leisurely Sunday to Friday cruise, the ship can be chartered for corporate functions, weddings, harbour cruises, fishing expeditions - whatever takes the wealthy landlubber's fancy.
Bissett recalls a similar venture in the early 80s, and acknowledges the cruises operating in the South Island. "You'd have to be mad," he laughs, when asked why there has been nothing else like it until now.
Given the huge start-up costs, it's not hard to agree, but it could also have something to do with the Gulf being that familiar body of water at the bottom of town.
Aside from the astonishing length of Waiheke Island, it's what you don't see that's more important: no cafes or mansions obscuring the view; no cars, no people.
Likewise, I've been to the Coromandel many times by road but I haven't seen it from this angle.
It's day two, and we have a chance to step off the boat on to a tiny, white-sand beach inhabited only by cows. It's good to stretch the legs after two nights at sea, and even better when we get to the top of the hill for the panoramic view of the Gulf.
I feel virtuous getting this perspective of my city's backyard but admittedly, my first two days are more about the boat, the food and the company. It isn't until day three that things get really interesting on the water.
A storm is brewing. We are warned our trip across the notorious Colville Channel to the Barrier will be rough. The wind has picked up to 50 knots. The changing landscape suits the weather.
As we depart the sheltered waters of the Coromandel, we cruise by vast angular, volcanic rocks rising out of the ocean, the Coromandel Ranges barely visible behind us.
The action starts with the clanking of glass behind the bar, a stumble across the floor and progresses to an exhilarating, nauseating ride across the high seas. This two-hour rollercoaster is a suitably wild approach to the mysterious Barrier, from here just a misty blue blob on the horizon. We are no sunburned holidaymakers on a luxury cruise. We are wet, sea-faring voyagers.
I think I just saw a black fin in the water. Yep, there are two sleek black bodies, about 200m away. The engines must have attracted them because soon they are at the bow. For 10 minutes the dolphins guide us, leaping in criss-cross patterns until we reach calmer waters. They disappear as the ship cruises into Man O' War Passage, a channel only twice the width of the boat.
Here we are on our floating mansion, gliding peacefully into paradise. I'd imagined we would pull into a bay along the coast, but the Barrier encloses you. It's like a lake surrounded by lush, mountainous land. Breathtaking.
The adrenaline is pumping. Time to go fishing. As a virgin fisher, I have doubts about leaving the comforts of the mother ship and setting out into the rain with the boys, some beers and a box of squid guts. Two hours later, I return triumphant.
I forget what the others caught - all I know is that my fish are heavier than everyone else's, and that includes a trevally, a kahawai and a 3kg snapper.
The weather has not abated so we spend another night at the Barrier, rather than heading to the Mokohinau Islands. A guided walk through the Glenfern sanctuary provides unprecedented views of the island, takes us into the branches of a kauri tree through a specially built swing-bridge, past bush weta and the home of a black petrel.
There is one more awesome bush walk before we head back to the urban jungle. After a balmy evening off Kawau Island, we cruise to the bird sanctuary island of Tiritiri Matangi.
I last came here on a school trip and planted a tree. If the significance was lost on me then, it isn't now. We no sooner finish reading on the conservation billboards which birds to watch out for - these are rare in urban New Zealand - when they surround us: saddlebacks, tui, fantails, bellbirds, all darting around, showing off just centimetres above us.
We also see takahe waddling nonchalantly along the grass. This must have been what prehistoric New Zealand was like. Now I really don't want to go home.
On the final leg back to Auckland, I have to laugh. Of the three books I'd packed, I've only opened one. So much for lying in a deckchair.
Checklist
* The Trip
The Island Passage, a five-night cruise around the Hauraki Gulf, includes Auckland, Waiheke, Coromandel, Great Barrier Island, Mokohinau islands, Kawau and Tiritiri Matangi.
* Getting there
Cruises leave from Auckland's Princes Wharf on Sundays at 2pm and return at midday on Friday.
The cost is from $1400 to $3750 each for two people. ($2450 to $5250 for one.)
* Further Information:
www.islandescape.co.nz
