KEY POINTS:
It is an insane proposition: transport two children to the city and over-stimulate them with three days of Auckland activities.
Take them out on the water and out of their comfort zones. Haul them to the top of the tallest building in the land and plunge them beneath the harbour in the bowels of an aquarium.
Scale an island volcano, crawl through caves, negotiate a sensory deprivation chamber. And stop along the way to hug a bunny, visit a moa, watch a pair of leopards - from behind a window - and revel in the hedonistic concrete jungle that is a theme park.
Naturally, it ends in tears. We finally pull the plug when the exhausted 4-year-old is jolted one too many times by a dodgem car. The real miracle is that the wheels fall off - figuratively speaking - only then, at the end of the final activity.
Thomas and big brother Jacob, 7, have been willing guinea pigs in a 40-hour marathon tour of eight child-friendly attractions.
Let's be clear; this is not the wholesome, budget-conscious, feed-the-ducks-in-the-park tour of the city of sails. Rather, it is a no-holds-barred sample of every mainstream place we have seen in a television advertisement or glossy brochure, the places childless people avoid during school holidays because of the yelling and the crowds and queues.
In short, they are the places we have never taken our children.
We expected commercialism and children keyed up from exhaustion and crappy food. We were certain the traffic would be horrid and the queues long. We knew we would have to paste on a smile and enthuse for the sake of our children.
We were wrong about almost everything. The truth is, smashing your bumper boat into innocent strangers is a hoot. And Auckland's zoo wins hands down against our nice little local animal farms back home in Tauranga. We don't have an aquarium, or a butterfly farm or a fantastic food hall that offers the authentic tastes and scents of Asia.
Nor do we have trams and fleets of ferries and a museum that is a national treasure.
Auckland is enormous fun when you adopt a child's view. It pays to point and shriek and laugh while craning your head over the side of a ferry. It pays to imagine you are the engine driver on the big black train at the museum.
Even dire warnings against tackling the city on a wet school holiday weekend came to nothing. There were no morning or evening rush hours, no stress. Early on a Saturday, the motorways were clear and downtown was easy to negotiate - presumably, all the smart people were at home with their DVD players or taking soggy holidays in the Coromandel.
We found that trying to tackle Sky Tower, the butterfly farm and Rainbow's End is too much for one day. Ditto the museum and MOTAT as well as the zoo. The children coped well with the pace but we felt too rushed and missed too much. Two activities is plenty for one day - Rangitoto Island in the morning and the aquarium in the afternoon was just right.
While we adults were especially smitten with the island, the zoo and the museum, our children saw things a little differently.
"If you've got kids, you must do Rainbow's End," Jacob says. "It's got lots of fun rides, especially the bumper boats. But you have to be patient because of the queues.
"I also loved Rangitoto Island. There's heaps of room to run around and it's interesting because there's concrete bunkers from the war and limestone caves. But you must bring a torch.
"Third best would be the museum because it takes you back in history and you need a couple of days to get a good look at it. It's so big."
We also learned:
RANGITOTO ISLAND
Find it: Fullers, Downtown Ferry Building, www.fullers.co.nz.
Adults liked: City and harbour views from the ferry and even better ones from the top of hill, cute old baches clinging to the edge of the island, the inevitable earth science discussions, being outdoors out of the city.
Children liked: the ferry ride, clambering over rocks and running wild. Biggest hit was exploring the caves with torches.
Conclusion: A worthwhile journey. The walk to the top is do-able but challenging enough to feel like an achievement. Note: wear good walking shoes and fill a backpack with everything you need - plenty of water, snacks, swimsuits and towels, hats and sunscreen if it's hot.
Cost: $52 family return
RAINBOW'S END
Find it: cnr Great South & Wiri Station Rds, Manukau, phone 09 262 2044.
Adults liked: Not having to do the really scary rides because our children are too young, go-karting and the goldrush ride.
Children liked: Dodgems and bumper boats for the 7-year-old, preschool area for the 4-year-old.
Conclusion: Go early, be prepared to queue, take a picnic (unless you love fairground food) and spend the whole day to get value for money. Best for older children - height restrictions apply on some rides - though preschoolers are well catered for.
Cost: $132 family of four "superpass".
AUCKLAND WAR MEMORIAL MUSEUM
Find it: Auckland Domain, phone 09 306 7084, www.aucklandmuseum.com
Adults liked: the fantastic, interactive Stevenson discovery centres, the new atrium, staff who direct and advise, the price.
Children liked: the treehouse, those revolting dead animals in the children's section, running in the domain - all that green in the centre of a city - and exploring the greenhouses and fish ponds outside.
Conclusion: A huge hit. We needed more time so we'll definitely return. Excellent value, with hours of fun for every age.
Cost: $5 donation/adult. Children free.
AUCKLAND ZOOLOGICAL PARK
Find it: Motions Road, Western Springs, phone 09 360 380, www.aucklandzoo.co.nz
Adults liked: the lush landscaping and layout - it feels pleasant and uncrowded and children can run. Healthy, loved-looking animals. Those graceful, loping giraffes.
Children liked: the big tortoises, primates, birds that talked, getting close to leopards.
Conclusion: Lovely for both adults and children. Zoos have come a long way in our generation.
Cost: $52 family of four
MOTAT
Find it: Great North Road, Western Springs, phone 09 815 5800, www.motat.org.nz
Adults liked: the aviation history, the old cop cars - he liked all the blokey vehicles and machines.
Children liked: the tactile dome, a visiting toy exhibition, science area.
Conclusion: An oldie but a goodie with an emphasis on making science accessible and enjoyable. Plenty here for children, especially during school holidays. Helpful staff. Good value. Note: we missed seeing MOTAT 2, down the road.
Cost: $30 family of six, including tram ride. Annual family pass $65.
BUTTERFLY CREEK
Find it: Tom Pearce Drive, Auckland International Airport, phone 09 275 8880, www.butterflycreek.co.nz
Adults liked: the wholesome semi-rural feel, the cleanest toilets in Auckland, nice cafe and liquor licence.
Children liked: handling the rabbits and farm animals, the train ride, getting close to the butterflies.
Conclusion: Best for younger children. The butterfly enclosure is great but bordering on too hot for some children - ours stripped shirts off. Nice pace after the city bustle.
Cost: $50 family of four, for entry to farm, train and butterfly house.
KELLY TARLTON'S ANTARCTIC ENCOUNTER AND UNDERWATER WORLD
Find it: 23 Tamaki Drive, Orakei, phone 09 528 0603, www.kellytarltons.co.nz
Adults liked: The undemanding pace after a morning racing round Rangitoto, those fascinating penguins.
Children liked: the penguin tour, the moving floor through the underwater viewing tunnel, the penguin movie.
Conclusion: the sharks and stingrays were great but the penguins were the stars. This is the only place we queued, relies on viewing rather than doing and can be easily tackled in less than two hours.
Cost: $67 family of four, $60.30 if booked online SKY TOWER Find it: Cnr Victoria and Federal Streets, Downtown, phone 09 363 6000, www.skycityauckland.co.nz
Adults liked: best city views , watching the window washers at work, not having to bungee jump off the side
Children liked: manipulating the zoom on the viewing cameras
Conclusion: Go early in the day and have the place to yourself. Ideal at the end of your trip so you can spot the places you've visited. Half an hour here is probably plenty, which makes it seem expensive.
Cost: $46 family of four to main observation deck, additional $3 each to get to the sky deck.
ACCOMMODATION
Having stayed in several central city hotels with children, Mercure Hotel Auckland (8 Customs Street, 09 3778920, www.mercure.co.nz ) was a pleasant surprise.
The location is fantastic, a block from the ferry terminal and gelato icecream shop, a minute's walk to the Viaduct, shops and Asian food hall. We were able to cool down after our Rangitoto trip, before tackling the aquarium. Friendly staff and stunning views from the upper storey suites.
