Even the sausage in bread didn't take the edge of the mother's miserable shopping experience. Photo / Instagram
An Australian mum took to Facebook to unload every reason why she can't stand shopping at hardware retailer Bunnings.
She vented on a Facebook page about how a trip, over the weekend, with her children and husband to Bunnings nearly destroyed her marriage.
"Bunnings. It seems like a good idea, but any longer than 40 minutes in this hell-hole can be damaging for relationships," she wrote on Facebook.
"Even a snag on some s***ty bread with onions (on the bottom) isn't enough to take the edge off this Marriage Destroyer™️ disguised as a DIY paradise."
She revealed that while Bunnings seems like a family-friendly store, she believes the miniature trolleys and the "promise of a playground," it is just a deception to the utter chaos ahead.
"Soon enough, while you are arguing over which length of hose you need, cart or no cart, wall-mounted or not, kink rating (settle down) and a multitude of attachments, they [the children] start to crack the s**ts."
"But you've committed to this and they have to shut the hell up while you do this dance of decisions on a piece of f*****g pipe."
She also said that the layout of the store is extremely difficult to follow "you don't know if the goods you're after are in aisle 44 or aisle 2."
"That's a lot of ground to cover, even if Stuart the helper was able to guide you through this labyrinth of pain."
Adding to what was already a painful enough trip, the mother said the "big flat trolley" was hard to manoeuvre.
"So between aisle 44 and aisle 2 you are kneecapping strangers with this unwieldy beast and screeching at the kids to get out of your way," she said.
"Sure, someone will suggest you pull it backward, but then there's the part where you NEED TO F*****G SEE WHERE YOU ARE GOING. Thanks for that advice, random stranger."
Next came the extensive selection of plants: "Try picking plants as a couple at your peril. Native or ornamental? Edible or flowers? Succulent or delicate?" The distressed mother said.
"More kneecapping and twitchy kids who look dangerously close to smashing a pile of terracotta pots. That sausage seems like it happened decades ago."
The women said after the whole Bunnings experience, packing up the car while trying to keep an eye on your kids and the frustrating drivers was the icing on the cake.
"Then you get home and there's been a cool change, the sun is gone and you can't be f****d doing any gardening."