"At her school the policy is all boys/girls or the whole class. Some parents have gone around that but I don't like that whole dynamic so I'm making her stick to the school guidelines. She wants to invite her whole class.
"Here's where I might have messed up. When we were writing out the invitations daughter asked me if we had to invite 'Avery'.
"Avery has autism and something else, and she's barely verbal, very hyperactive, and isn't potty trained. My daughter comes home with a story about something this kid did easily twice a week.
"She said she doesn't want everyone paying attention to Avery 'like they always do at school.' I thought about it and decided daughter doesn't have to invite her.
"I have nothing against the girl, but I respect my daughter's choice."
'Bully by exclusion'
The mum shared that Avery's mother was unimpressed by the decision to exclude her daughter.
"The girl's mum messaged me and said 'Thanks for reminding us yet again that we don't get invited to things.' I apologised but I stood firm," she wrote.
She went on to say that she had received some backlash from other parents and was questioning whether she made the correct call.
"I really don't want to make my daughter be miserable at her own birthday party, especially since she didn't even get a party last year thanks to the pandemic," she said.
"But after the backlash I got I have to wonder if I'm somehow missing a chance to teach my daughter not to discriminate."
Reddit users were deeply unimpressed by the tale.
"(The mum) is teaching 7-year-old daughter that, when it really matters, her special day, f*** disabled people, she shouldn't even have to look at them. Yikes," one wrote.
"She's a human child who just wants to be a part of her class and again, selfish f***s like yourself leave kids like Avery excluded and you teach your child to bully by exclusion, if not worse."
Another wrote: "As a mum of two kids on the autism spectrum, you are the parent I hated when my kids were growing up. My kids would be in tears knowing they were the only ones left out over things they had no control over. Be kind and do better!"
But one parent said she could see where the mum was coming from.
"This is a hard one because I have kids with disabilities that never get invited to things and it's so devastatingly heartbreaking seeing them so hurt," she wrote.
"My son is 7 and has never even been asked for a playdate. My 15-year-old has never had a party. But the fact is your daughter comes first and if she will feel uncomfortable about inviting the child with special needs, then that seriously needs consideration.
"I do think you need to talk to your daughter though about inclusivity and acceptance, but she still shouldn't be forced to invite someone she doesn't want to."
