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Home / Lifestyle

Mum 'absolutely gutted' over family demands for vaccination

By Rhian Deutrom
news.com.au·
27 Jun, 2019 08:31 PM6 mins to read

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Group members argued that the health of a newborn should never be compromised. Photo / 123RF

Group members argued that the health of a newborn should never be compromised. Photo / 123RF

A Sydney woman has caused a heated debate online, after complaining she wouldn't be allowed to meet her baby nephew because she refused to get her flu vaccination.

The woman, who wished to remain anonymous, posted her dilemma on a Sydney mother's Facebook group this week, asking the members if she was being selfish by not vaccinating her family against the flu before meeting her brother's new baby.

The woman told the group she had just received a birth announcement reminder from her sister-in-law.

In it, the expectant mother asked that, with the birth of her daughter imminent, any friends and family wishing to visit the new family to "see your doctor for info about receiving the whooping cough and flu vaccines".

"If you can't or choose not to, that's cool!" the note read.

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"Little Miss will be waiting to meet you after her immunisations."

Below the message, in large print, the parent's message could not be clearer — NO VAX NO VISIT.

"Please don't visit if you are sick," it added.

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But according to the aunty-to-be, she had decided not to get the flu vaccination, along with her partner and son.

The birthday announcement reminder asked family and friends to update their vaccinations. Photo / Facebook
The birthday announcement reminder asked family and friends to update their vaccinations. Photo / Facebook

While her family was up-to-date with most vaccinations, they had made the decision not to get the flu jab this season, and she was devastated that she wouldn't be able to meet her brother's child for almost two months.

"I am becoming an aunt for the first time and my son is so eager to meet his new baby cousin," she wrote.

"Now we're being told we can't meet (her) until the six week mark."

SHOULD I TEXT THEM?

The woman continued her story, saying she had always been extremely close with her brother and had noticed his girlfriend "tends to be quite controlling over the decisions they make about the baby".

"I was thinking of texting my brother to say: 'We have chosen not to get the flu vaccines and that's our choice but have had all the others. If you still don't feel comfortable with us being around then we respect that'," she wrote.

One group member accused the woman of being "passive aggressive" by contemplating the text message.

"They were very clear and respectful with their request," they said. "If you still don't want to get the flu shot, you're choosing to wait."

While she understood her sister-in-law was trying to protect her new baby, she said she couldn't understand why she was being so strict about a simple flu vaccination.

"My brother was welcome at the hospital when I had my son and held him and bonded with him," she said.

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"I feel like I should have the same experience. I'm absolutely gutted."

THE RESPONSE

The woman's post was topped with a question, asking if she was overreacting or being selfish.

This elicited about 100 comments from people with very strong opinions on the topic.

Most were adamant that a newborn baby's life was not something to be toyed with, but others weren't as bothered.

One member accused the woman of "100 per cent being selfish".

"I completely support your sister-in-law and I think you need to be more understanding that she wants to protect her newborn, and more importantly: keep them alive," they wrote.

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The anonymous woman said her family refused to get the flu shot this year. Photo / 123RF
The anonymous woman said her family refused to get the flu shot this year. Photo / 123RF

"If you really want to meet your niece as soon as they're born, then get the flu shot," another woman wrote.

Others claimed it was "their baby and their choice, just as it's your choice not to get the flu vax".

"You need to respect their wishes. Just because you weren't worried about the flu vax and didn't enforce it for your bub, doesn't mean they have to do the same."

FELLOW MOTHERS

Several mothers of newborn babies also chimed in, saying they asked the same of their family and friends who planned to visit.

"Sometimes we (new mums) ask 'a bit much' being ... terrified that anything could happen, but I would prefer to p*ss someone off, then to unintentionally harm my baby by trying to be nice," one mother wrote.

Another added: "It's their baby they have the right to worry or do the best for their baby."

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But other group members appeared to be sympathetic to the woman's plight, claiming the expectant mother's request was "a little over the top".

The woman's sister-in-law asked that all visitors have their vaccinations. Photo / 123RF
The woman's sister-in-law asked that all visitors have their vaccinations. Photo / 123RF

"Jeeez, this is a little over the top. It's a shame that you're in this situation; I feel for you!" one woman wrote.

Another person said they thought it was "silly to ask for flu shots".

"I asked everyone about whooping cough, but flu shots!? Nahh ..." they wrote.

Others advised the poster to "Just let it go".

NZ's 'KILLER' FLU

New Zealand hospitals are currently overrun with patients, struck down by this season's vicious influenza outbreak, with flu-related deaths.

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As of June 9, the New Zealand Influenza Intelligence Report found an influenza-like illness in New Zealand was above the seasonal baseline threshold with over 45 per cent of samples tested in hospitals and by GPs being influenza-positive, the highest positivity rates for this period in recent years.

Since June 21, 1.3 million doses of influenza vaccination had been distributed nationwide, with the Ministry of Health now asking providers to prioritise stock for those most at risk of the harmful effects of the flu.

The ministry is seeking information about stocks of influenza vaccine remaining in the community for patients at greatest risk of influenza: pregnant women, people with certain chronic illnesses, children aged 4 and under with severe respiratory illness, and those aged 65 and over (see www.influenza.org.nz for the full list of eligibility criteria).

Symptoms to watch out for

• High fever and a headache
• Unusual tiredness and "aching all over".
• Cough. This can be common in children, especially when they are preschool age, and is usually short-lived. However, some coughs can be a sign of an infection. A wet cough, which is "chesty" and phlegmy may need to be checked out by a doctor.
• Sore throat. If your child has a sore throat – get it checked by a doctor or nurse. This can prevent rheumatic fever.
• Whanganui DHB encourages anyone with these symptoms to call their GP or Healthline as they may need medication which is best started within the first 24-48 hours of symptoms.

Tips for keeping clear of the flu

• Ensure you and your family are up to date with immunisations. Vaccines are still available for those in the high-risk groups so call your GP or health centre for information.
• Practice good hand hygiene - wash hands thoroughly with soap and hot water for at least 20 seconds and dry hands with a clean, dry towel or paper towel for 20 seconds.
• Stay warm and dry, and keep homes well ventilated and heated.

If you or your family members are unwell:

• Don't spread your germs around – stay off work and school until you are feeling better.
• Practise good cough and sneeze etiquette. This means covering your mouth and nose with a tissue or coughing or sneezing into your elbow.
• Phone Healthline if you need information or advice - 0800 611 116.

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Source: Toi Te Ora

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