If Martin Henderson returned to India he'd have his "clothes ripped off", says Gurinder Chadha, who directed the Kiwi actor in her Bollywood-meets-Hollywood feature film, Bride & Prejudice.
"Oh my goodness, there'd be girls all over the place. He could have his pick. He's a complete dish, isn't he?" she laughs raspily.
Chadha is thrilled to have introduced thousands of Indian schoolgirls to the former Shortland Street soap star - crossing cultural divides via the silver screen has made her one of Britain's most successful female directors. The mastermind behind Bend it Like Beckham, Bhaji on the Beach and What's Cooking?, movies that draw on her strict Sikh-West London upbringing, Chadha's Bride & Prejudice is her most ambitious film yet, a camp and colourful interpretation of her favourite book by Jane Austen.
Austen's Hertfordshire becomes Amritsar, the Hicksville hometown of Mr Bakshi and his bolshie wife, who can't wait to marry off her four beautiful daughters to rich suitors. Wet blanket Will Darcy becomes wet T-shirt Will Darcy (Henderson), an uptight but suave American hotelier who falls for Lalita, played by former Miss World and Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai in her first English-speaking role.
If that's not enough of a culture shock, Austen fans should prepare their senses for the shamelessly cheesy song and dance sequences. No Life, Without Wife, for instance is Grease, Punjab-style, where the daughters dance around the house in their pyjamas.
"The hardest thing for me throughout the movie was finding that balance where it wasn't too cheesy," says Chadha. "We were doing those very Bollywood shots where you move the camera into their face as they're looking longingly at the girl in question, and Martin was like, 'Oh my God, this is just awful'. There was another point when the choreographer wanted Martin to walk across this mountain, his arms wide apart singing and when the dancers rehearsed it for us we just fell about laughing because it was so cheesy. And he was like, 'My career is over! No one is going to take me seriously again!"'
Henderson had already decided he didn't want to play the staunch, masculine Bollywood hero, choosing instead to portray him as the old-fashioned character Austen would have intended, a decision that has been met with lukewarm reviews.
"Originally, Miramax were a bit confused or worried that I wasn't playing the American smooth, charming leading man," Henderson told the Herald in December. "I think they were a bit upset at first. But I'd spoken at length with Gurinder about it. He starts off more reserved and at the beginning of the film he's almost like an anti-hero, he's dislikeable. But that was kind of the point of the character to have that journey."
Henderson wasn't the only Kiwi in the film. Daniel Gillies (Spiderman-2), a "real cheeky bugger" according to Chadha, plays Darcy's rival, Wickham, a free-spirited but dodgy backpacker who wins Lalita's affections. "I saw his face and I thought, ooh, you're a little rogue, you are."
The Kiwi casting was a coincidence that turned out to be a happy one. Compared with Americans, New Zealand actors are open to new experiences, says Chadha, who was impressed when Henderson joined her for traditional Indian meals.
"As soon as we got to Amritsar, Martin was like, 'I'm off!' And he put on his flip-flops and his little tatty clothes and his hippie-dippy shirt and that was it. He got into a rickshaw and went off exploring. We were like, 'Oh my God, he's gone off on his own, we should have sent someone with him! What if he gets lost? What if this? What if that?' He was off going round exploring, finding out about things, having a whale of a time. It's that adventurous spirit that I think comes from being from New Zealand that was really appealing."
There was certainly adventure to be had. Filming took place in London, Amritsar, Goa, Bombay, Sedona, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica and Downtown LA.
As well as the globe, there were cultural protocols to be navigated, too. In traditional Bollywood films, kissing must not be shown and sex is represented by gushing water. In Bride & Prejudice the enamoured couple charge dramatically through a water fountain, wet clothes clinging to their skin.
"For some people it wasn't Bollywood enough or maybe it was too Bollywood and they expected me to do something a little more Westernised. It's not everybody's cup of tea but this is the kind of way I would like to see a Bollywood film made."
Chadha's only bad experience in film-making was attempting to take a similar concept in 1997. She was approached by an Indian producer who wanted her to make a Bollywood film. But after a month the money had dried up and the film was never completed.
"He wanted was something more cheesy. He kept wanting me to add fight scenes into places where there were no fight scenes and things like that. It became really clear as to how Bollywood itself works. I learnt a lot from that experience which I put into practice on this film."
Not surprisingly, the film hasn't escaped criticism that it's reinforcing Indian stereotypes.
But Chadha, who once stayed with a family similar to the Bakshis, is adamant the film is realistic.
"We rarely see Indians on the screen, it's very quick to say when the few do come up, 'oh that's a stereotype'. If we had more images then we'd have more different types of people on the screen. But it's horses for courses.
"I'm sure there will be people who go, 'Oh my God! This isn't Bend it Like Beckham!' The idea is to go in and have a good time.
"It's about a global vision. It's my vision where cultures collide and we go from country to country smoothly because that's my world. And very few people are put in that world up on the screen."
And for what it's worth, the Jane Austen Society of North America made her an honorary lifetime member after seeing the film.
"I always made it hoping Jane Austen was looking down and enjoying what I was doing.
"I think it's very true to the spirit of her novel. I still think her novel is brilliant, far more brilliant than my film. But I hope people watch my film, have a good time and then go back and devour her book again."
LOWDOWN
WHAT: Bride and Prejudice, Jane Austen gets an east-west Bollywood makeover
STARRING: Martin Henderson, Aishwarya Rai, Daniel Gillies
DIRECTOR: Gurinder Chadha (Bend It Like Beckham)
OPENS: At cinemas nationwide on May 26
Mr Darcy goes to Bollywood
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