Natalia and Lourenco Ouriques are leaving Auckland with their 2-year-old daughter Alice after their North Shore house was badly damaged by flooding. Photo / Sylvie Whinray
Like, love or loathe it, Auckland is by far our most popular city - but for some the party’s over. Jane Phare talks to fed-up Aucklanders about why they’ve left Tāmaki Makaurau, and looks at how to start a new life elsewhere.
The dirty floodwater that swamped Lourenco Ouriques’ North Shore home was the last straw. After seven years living in Auckland, the Brazilian engineer and his wife Natalia are leaving the city.
It was not just the floodwaters that roared down Totaravale Dr in late January, filling their home nearly to the roof and destroying every possession they owned. It’s just Auckland.
The traffic, says Ouriques; it takes so long to travel to work or go on a family outing. And the cost of living. Buying a house is out of the question but with the $480 a week rent he paid for a small, two-bedroom house in Totara Vale he knows he can do better elsewhere.
He and his wife, who is expecting their second child in June, want a better life for their 2-year-old daughter Alice and the baby to come, easier access to parks and beaches and more time together as a family. By the time they strap Alice into her car seat and battle the traffic it’s often time to come home for a feed and a sleep, they say.
Vox pop the average Aucklander and you’ll hear similar complaints: “The traffic!” Nightmarish commuting times, unaffordable house and rental prices, more road cones than parking spaces, poor public transport. The crime seems to be getting worse, they’ll say. And now the floods and slips. They talk about the city making them feel anxious.
Auckland is never going to be short of people, but it might be getting short of happy people - those who are content living in a city with an infrastructure struggling to cope. Some have already voted with their feet.
Auckland’s population is just under 1.7 million, according to Statistics New Zealand, but it declined last year as 12,000 people left the city for other parts of New Zealand, a loss that was not made up by international migration. It dropped in 2021 too, reversing a 20-year-old trend of 1.72 per cent population growth a year.
Although the lack of international migration has contributed to Auckland’s declining population, by comparison areas like Northland, Waikato, Bay of Plenty and the Tasman District in the northwest of the South Island experienced marked population increases last year.
Deborah* left Auckland last month, telling the Weekend Herald that the city had increasingly caused her “a sense of anxiety”. She’s lived most of her life in Auckland, returning nine years ago after a stint overseas. Her boyfriend has also left, moving north to buy a house. Deborah wants to live closer to him but that’s not the main reason. It’s time to go, she says.
“I’m sick of the traffic. It just does my head in. And rental prices are completely unaffordable,” she says.
She was lucky enough to pay a relatively cheap rent of $550 a week for a small two-bedroom unit on the North Shore through a family friend. But because she works from home, she and her young daughter needed more space, but she couldn’t afford more rent.
Deborah, who does not want her real name used to maintain family privacy, knows buying a home is unachievable for her in Auckland. The cost of living is higher - petrol is more expensive in the city and so are supermarket prices, she says.
Rising crime is another concern. “Ram raids, shootings and all sorts, and it seemed to be happening all over the city.”
The 30-year-old moved to Whangaparāoa earlier this year and says already she’s feeling better. She’s aiming to move beyond the Brynderwyns - to Waipū, Ruakaka or the coastal community of One Tree Point on the shores of Whangārei Harbour.
“If you’ve got family and friends in Auckland, it’s not too long a drive, and Whangārei is close enough to shop or work”.
She anticipates those three areas will take off, with plenty of young families moving north and new housing, schools and shops being developed. Covid lockdowns make it more acceptable to work from home and she predicts it won’t be long before the region is considered an extension of Auckland.
And it’s way better value for money, she says. Late last year a friend sold an Auckland property for $2.5 million and bought a “stunning” high-spec home with land and wide sea views for $1.6m near Waipū. He also bought a second investment property.
Rentals are better value, too. She’s seen a three-bedroom home, with land, advertised in Waipū for $540 a week, less than she was paying for her unit in Auckland, which was mate’s rates.
Relationship and sex therapists Nic Beets and Verity Thom left Auckland permanently more than two years ago, settling at Waihī Beach after 31 years of living in the same home. Demands of elderly parents, their children and their work kept them in Auckland but the population around them was so transient they scarcely knew their neighbours.
Now, Nic Beets says, they’ll often have two or three conversations with neighbours on their 300m walk to the beach. Covid and lockdowns made their decision to leave Auckland a no-brainer. Both keen stand-up paddleboard surfers, they had already bought a bach in 2019 with the intention of one day retiring to Waihī. But during the lockdowns, which they spent at the bach, they realised they could go for a quick surf in the morning and still see clients online during the day.
Waihī Beach is an easy drive to see friends and family in Auckland, Beets says, and there’s good access to bush in the Kaimai Range, and other outdoor attractions like the Karangahake Gorge, the Rotorua lakes and East Cape.
The couple like the sense of community that Auckland lacked, with Waihī Beach residents inviting the couple to their homes to meet other neighbours. And there’s a sense of shared values, Beets says.
“Most people who choose to live at the beach have a strong connection with nature and the outdoors. They may not do the same activities as us but we all have the weather and the water, the wildlife and the beach as a big focus in our lives. In my experience there is much less focus on money, status and ‘success’ which feels such a big part of urban life.”
As for the downside of leaving Auckland, Beets responds with “I’m tempted to say ‘none’.”
Yes, travelling to Auckland for health appointments is a pain he says.
“But the payoff is you’re not driving through Auckland traffic, so though the drive is longer, it’s often less stressful.”
There’s not as much access to live shows and music, and another downside for Beets is losing long-standing social arrangements - singing with his choir and walking once a week with a bunch of old schoolmates. However, he keeps in touch with friends on social media and some have come to stay with the couple at Waihī.
For Ouriques, it will be a slow haul to get back on his feet again. The floodwater almost reached the top of the sliding doors in his home and swamped his car outside. The sodden, broken mess left behind was heartbreaking. The force of the water caused a large fridge and cabinet to topple over. Outside, a shed was moved off its foundation, another tipped on its side.
Ouriques did not have insurance for either the house contents or the car. It is a hard lesson to learn, he says.
Now the family plan to relocate to Tauranga after the baby is born. Until then they are staying with friends and Ouriques, an engineer, is job-hunting in the Bay of Plenty area. Friends in Tauranga have told him the weather is good, houses are cheaper and the traffic not as bad.
“Auckland is too busy. If I work in South Auckland I spend more than one hour to get back to my house. It’s terrible.”
Having made the decision to leave Auckland, the question is where to now? Deciding to quit jobs, end a rental, sell a house, change the children’s schools, leave friends and family, and no longer be a “Jafa” is a big decision.
Psychologists and those who’ve been-there-done-that warn potential movers to think things through, make a list of pros and cons, do the research and visit a few promising towns and cities before taking the leap.
Beets warns that people shouldn’t uproot their lives on a whim, or leave for the wrong reasons. But once the decision has been made, don’t muck about, he says. Give yourself a deadline, and book a removal truck.
And go in with the right attitude, experts say. There will be parts of your old life, and people, that you will miss; you might even feel “homesick”. But the advantages of your new life, be it a slower pace of life, less traffic, more disposable income or better work/life balance, will replace those losses.
The trick is to give it time, says Massey University Associate Professor Kirsty Ross. It might take a year, even two, before a new place feels like home.
“You can buy a new house and you can start a job but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s going to feel like home. That feeling of belonging somewhere takes time.”
Ross warns it will feel uncomfortable at first, not knowing anyone, being unfamiliar with the community, the newcomer. There’s nothing wrong with keeping a foot in each camp for a while, she says, returning to old haunts to see family, friends and familiar places.
“It’s a massive dislocation to move somewhere new and you’ve got all of these things you’ve left behind.”
Make an effort to connect with the new community, experts say. Join a club, do an activity. All places have a congregation point, Ross says, a place where the locals come together, be it a school, a sports club, church or an RSA club. Go to quiz nights, join the dog agility club (if you have a dog), have a go at darts, join an online community group, a choir, volunteer if you have time.
It’s finding a place where people get to know your name, she says.
Ottilie Stolte, senior lecturer in social and community psychology at the University of Waikato, points out there is not only an economic cost in leaving a place but a social cost. Moving to a smaller place may well result in former Aucklanders experiencing a sense of disruption and culture shock. Familiar routes are gone, as are familiar routines, friends and family.
“Building a new life somewhere else takes time, patience, effort and resources,” Stolte warns.
She points out that Auckland’s population is unique, with nearly 40 per cent of Aucklanders born overseas compared to 18 per cent for the rest of New Zealand’s population. As a result, the city has active migrant communities and networks.
“Moving to other parts of Aotearoa where such cultures are less visible can therefore feel alienating for some people.”
Like Ross, Stolte says focusing on the things people gain from the move, rather than lamenting the losses, is the trick. Introduce yourself to your neighbours, share vegetables with locals, talk to people. Smaller places have a lot going on if you take the time to find out, she says.
Visit a place beforehand and talk to locals to make sure impressions are not coloured by marketing designed to lure tourists and businesses to the area, or portrayals in movies and TV shows, she says. It will also help to dispel stereotyped labels like “backward”, or “shit” towns.
Take Invercargill, a city that has an uphill climb (even though it’s flat) to convince the rest of New Zealand it’s a great place to live. The Rolling Stones did terminal damage when either Mick Jagger or Keith Richards (the autobiographies can’t agree) dubbed Invercargill “the arsehole of the world” after their tour in 1965.
And one of its latest accolades is winning the voter-driven satirical Facebook competition, Sh*t Towns of New Zealand, beating Huntly which has won twice before.
But Invercargill’s mayor Nobby Clark begs to differ. House prices and rentals are way below Auckland’s, the streets are wide, three cars constitute a traffic jam and residents can drive from one side of the city to the other in 20 minutes. Queenstown is an easy two-hour drive away, there’s more daylight in the summer and the city is about to open a new $200 million shopping mall that takes up an entire block, and build an outdoor entertainment screen the size of a two-storey building.
Those who have already moved out of Auckland talk about wanting to get away from the city because of stress factors, rather than just feeling it was time for a change.
Just the pace of living in a city can make people feel anxious, Ross says, what she calls the “busyness and rushing”.
“There’s not enough time. It takes a long time to get everywhere. Sheer busyness creates tensions within our bodies. Your body is in a state of hyper-arousal. You’re on an adrenaline burst because you’re on the go all the time.”
As a result, people look for a slower pace of life because that helps the body and your brain to slow down, she says.
Ross lives in Palmerston North and allows half an hour maximum, usually less, to get from one side of the city to the other – from Massey University to Palmerston North Hospital to see clients.
Being in traffic for too long feels like a waste of time which creates a sense of frustration, she says. That leads people to wonder about a better place to live, where they can have the time to achieve what they need to do.
“That’s often why we see people moving because they want a house to raise the kids in, they want a slower pace, they want to be able to go to the soccer game after school or duck into the school assembly during their lunch break.”
Beets can relate to people who say that Auckland makes them feel anxious.
“I feel quite oppressed by Auckland - and was before we left,” he says. “I remember standing in the queue at a local bakery and everyone seemed so stressed and uptight and, frankly, hostile. The traffic and the stressfulness of getting anywhere was a big part of it too. All my friends were on the other side of town and rarely came to see me. It no longer felt like a healthy place for me to live.”
Small-town life is not for everyone and some Aucklanders who have left for smaller places find themselves pining for city life, or having to return so they can be closer to medical specialists. Common complaints are too quiet, too parochial, not enough going on, a lack of career opportunities, backward attitudes or just plain dull.
Two former Auckland families who relocated to Kerikeri both have children with specific medical conditions which meant three- to six-monthly treks to Auckland to see specialists. While that was time-consuming, particularly for two working parents, the more rural lifestyle made up for it. And Covid lockdowns meant that specialists eventually introduced online consultations.
However, one family moved back for nearly three years because of a lack of subject options at the local high school for their teenage children. The father of those children says he cringes having to spend time in Auckland, describing the Far North as “like heaven to me”.
“However my boys think it’s deadsville up there with nothing to do. I think we moved up a few years too late, they already had their claws firmly stuck down here [in Auckland].”
He also advises Aucklanders planning to resettle in quieter places to leave Auckland habits behind.
“Things are much slower out of town, at shops the service is slower than what you may be used to, but always with a smile. People don’t rush, but they are present and they listen.”
* Not her real name
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