Movies for schoolkids, all right?

By CLAIRE TREVETT

When the last school bell of the term rings, the advantages of having children become apparent.

Forget about mowing the lawn, or pinning down the finer details of that international deal.

The kids just have to see that Thunderbirds movie. Just for the kids, of course. Nothing to do with nostalgia.

But they could not go alone - there are probably laws against that now. So father will have to do his duty and take them.

So it was at Hoyts Village in Queen St. Small bundles of children, usually two or three at a time, collected from various households to take advantage of the cheaper family pass rates.

No movies got the thumbs down. However, none toppled that almighty film of last holidays from its lofty perch: Shrek 2.

Here are the movies, how they stacked up with reviewers, how the children rated them and whether the film-makers were kind enough to give parents the odd secret smirk from behind the popcorn bucket.

Shark Tale

Storyline: An underwater gangster movie featuring a group of hoodlum sharks who rule the reef, Rastafarian jellyfish, and a vegetarian shark. Packed with big names (Will Smith, Renee Zellweger, Jack Black, Angelina Jolie and Robert De Niro) doing the voiceovers, the animated flick has been described as a cross between Finding Nemo and The Godfather.

The reviewer: Hollywood Reporter: "Shark Tale comes off as an overly jokey but often quite entertaining spoof that should please families everywhere."

The kids: Received 10 out of 10 from Morgan Reid, 7, Brook Watkins, 5, and Hamish Reid, 8, largely because they thought it was amusing. Hamish thought the animation was good, Brook was happy just watching the puffer fish blow up.

Older children were more analytical. Lauren Valcarcel, 15, and Alisia Graham, 16, said it was original but dragged on a bit.

"It was sort of the same as Finding Nemo, but I reckon it's more for adults than children because [younger sister Ranelle] got bored about halfway through," said Alisia.

Sam Thompson, 11, an avid fan of action film The Fast and the Furious, also had mixed opinions.

"It was okay. It was funny but I just didn't like it much, really. When they started kissing and stuff, that's boring."

But he thought there might be bits that adults would laugh at.

Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Storyline: Sequel to teen comedy The Princess Diaries, the movie follows the ongoing mishaps in the life of Princess Mia (Anne Hathaway), a normal American teenager who found out she was a Genovian princess. Ruled over by her grandmother, Queen Clarisse (Julie Andrews), Mia had to undergo a Pygmalion-type transformation. In this film, she must marry within 30 days or lose her claim to the throne.

The reviewer: Francesca Rudkin, Herald: "At age 69 you might think veteran director [Garry] Marshall could be out of touch with the film's audience. But the gasps from the 10-year-olds in the cinema when Princess Mia opens her walk-in wardrobe, filled with sunglasses, tiaras and shoes, confirmed that it takes only a touch of materialism to connect these days."

The kids: Daniel Aitchison, 10, whose taste tend to "Mr Bean sort of stuff", said it was "reasonably funny".

He liked it when "the grandma started to sing and doing these whacky things, like the kids were doing." But the romance scenes were "boring and too mushy".

White Chicks

Storyline: Two black FBI agents, played by brothers Shawn and Marlon Wayans, go undercover as two white female socialites to foil a kidnapping at a debutante party at a seaside resort.

The kids: Early teens found the movie hilarious, largely because of the drag antics. Laura Allen, 14, and Josephine Bower, 14, gave it an 8 1/2 and 8 out of 10 respectively, because it was funny. Noah Meggitt, 7, was the only child spoken to who ranked White Chicks as better than a Shrek movie.

"I liked the fighting bits. It was funny fighting because they had to fight in dresses."

The reviewer: Hollywood Reporter: "This is the kind of film that will leave many audience members groaning with laughter - and others simply groaning.

"It is skit/situation comedy that exploits stereotypes with a vengeance and knows no shame in borrowing from much better movies, ranging from Some Like It Hot to Tootsie."

Catwoman

Storyline: Patience Phillips (Halle Berry), a socially bereft graphic designer working for a cosmetics company, is killed and comes back to life with cat-like powers. Not really like the original comic-based Catwoman at all.

The kids: University student Shaneel Sharma, 19, said it packed no surprises but he had not expected any.

"It was a typical movie - someone gets super-powers and defeats the evil person. It's watchable and enjoyable. Halle Berry is a good actor so she treated the role well."

The reviewer: Christy Lemire, Associated Press: "It's cinema for the attention span-challenged - a soulless amalgamation of quick edits, computer images and swooping, nausea-inducing dolly shots ... The most egregious sin of all: for an action movie, it's mind-numbingly boring."

Thunderbirds

Storyline: Rebirth of the 1960s TV puppet show, only less jerky, with human actors for Lady Penelope and sidekicks, rather than the stringbound variety.

The kids: Joe Chambers, 15, had seen the original series.

"This was an interesting take on it. There were some differences between the old series and the film. The storyline is probably not for older kids, for those about 10 or 11. But for adults it's okay. There's some bits for them."

His sister Megan, 13, enjoyed it, especially "when Lady Penelope and Parker beat up the bad guys".

The reviewer: Movie-gazette.com: "The strings have gone, but so has much of the charm in this fab-looking blandfest."

Garfield

Storyline: Follows Garfield in his consumption of lasagne, the kidnapping of Odie the dog and total disregard of owner Jon.

The reviewer: Boston Globe: "It will please younger children - who really only require that a film move fast, make sense, and be colourful - while keeping their older siblings inoffensively narcotised for 75 minutes. "Adults may find it a toothless, harmless, mostly charmless mongrel movie that mixes live-action actors and animals with a computer-generated version of the comic strip cat."

The kids: Ben Carter, 15, gave it 9 out of 10, "because Garfield looked like I imagined, but he was a bit overfat and the graphics weren't as good as I thought they would be."