Modern Etiquette: I hate my dog - what should I do?

How could you hate this little guy? You have to try harder to like your dog. Photo / 123RF

We have a new dog in our household, and as much as I've tried, I hate it. What can I do? - Canine Conundrum, Auckland.

Did you agree to the dog from the outset, or was it a surprise arrival? If it was the former, keep trying, pal. An animal is for (its) life, not for a weekend.

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Are you not a dog person, or is it something about this particular dog? Is the dog a gorgeous friendly crossbreed hard done-by society, or an over-energetic doodle-mut that has been mistaken for a large rat? Whatever the case, you have a dog in your house now and, just like a child, you can't give it away. There are enough dogs out there in need of homes already.

There are many ways you can bond with your new dog. You say you've tried, but you're going to need to try harder. First of all, take your dog for walks. Just the two of you, and not for the purpose of him going number twos so you can turn around and go home again. Secondly, make him work for his food. Play controlled fetching games (go on YouTube for ideas), teach him to sit, or even just make him wait at the doorstep without stepping foot inside. He'll begin to learn that you are master, and thus he must respect you. Hand-feeding, too, helps to establish trust. Lastly, be consistent, calm, and fair with him. When he runs away from you and you get angry, you must ensure you never scold him when he returns to you. If you do, he will learn that coming back is bad, and he'll associate it (and you) with negativity. With time, and patience, you'll probably end up liking - maybe even loving - your dog.

However, if you didn't consent to a new dog (i.e. your spouse brought him home without discussing it with you), you have grounds to have a serious conversation about the appropriate ways of moving the dog to a new home, if you really feel passionately about being pet-free. Your options may include giving the dog to a lonely friend or neighbour, otherwise you could contact breeders to help with re-homing if the dog is purebred, or the SPCA if he's mixed-breed. Bear in mind, though, that all animal shelters in New Zealand are overrun with unwanted animals. Offloading a dog from an already-safe home should be an absolute last resort.

Is it okay to bring a meat dish to a vegetarian's house? - Meat Mistress, Auckland.

Is it okay to bring meatballs to a vegetarian friend's house? Photo / 123RF

It's definitely unethical to sneak meat into a dish and serve it to a vegetarian, but the stereotype of the self-righteous herbivore rarely rings true these days and most are completely fine with meat in their house.

It is uncommon for an entire household to be veggie (normally it's just the parents, just one flatmate, just one child, etc.), and if your host's household is one of the exceptional cases, it's likely you already know meat is forbidden from being eating within their walls. In which case, just take a large plate of hummus and crudités and scoff down a saussie when you get home if you have to.

When you're unsure, though, it never hurts to ask. In fact, it's good etiquette to do so, no matter what you bring to another's house. When you get an invite, either say, "What can I bring?" or, "I was thinking of bringing (insert meaty delights here)". You then give your host the opportunity to speak up about anything inappropriate and, unless you defy their reply, are not at fault if they're offended later.

I'm a student living in a hall of residence, and someone decided to take my washing out of the machine for me because I didn't get back three milliseconds after it finished its cycle. Now I can't find my favourite pants and cardigan. How do I go about trying to get them back? ¬ Washing Worrier, Auckland.

Chances are something will go missing in a shared laundry. Photo / 123RF

Ah, the joys of student living. Lost, ruined, and stolen clothing is unfortunately part of the deal when you have shared laundry facilities; no student will go unscathed. At least you haven't had a foreign red sock in your whites (yet).

You could put up a "lost" sign in the laundry or post on your hall's intranet or Facebook page, and maybe someone will find your items lying in their basket of washed-but-unfolded laundry. It's more likely, however, that someone threw them out of the machine you were using and onto the floor, before an opportunistic passer-by saw them and thought, "Ooh, Ralph Lauren!".

It's unlikely you'll ever see your trousers and cardi again, I'm afraid. When you're next washing anything worth more than $20 apiece, get a rubber-band gun, stand guard, and ping anyone who tries to open your machine whilst exclaiming, "Give the couture time!".