I want to go overseas for a year. Is there any way I can have my job waiting for me when I come home? - Trying to Travel, Auckland
Taking a sabbatical of sorts of welcomed in some industries, but in most, when you leave for a year you might as well be resigning for good. As many of us know, one year often turns into five or 10.
If you are genuinely confident you're taking just the one year out of your life and plan to return back to your company, you need to emphasise that loyalty when you open this discussion with your boss.
The ideal way to get granted a year's unpaid leave and have your job waiting for you at the end is to give a very, very long lead time. If you sit down 12 months out and say to your company that you're seeking a sabbatical for 2017, and would like to work towards an agreement to make that possible, you have the highest chance of a positive reception.
Explain why you want a year off, what you plan to do, and - crucially - what increased value you are going to bring back to the company.
If there are options for further education or experiences with international organisations that will benefit you as a professional, explain these as an option. Your employer may even welcome the idea - allowing this kind of mutually-beneficial time off is certainly a good recruitment and retention strategy.
If your year off is because you need to "hit refresh" on your life and spend your time relaxing, renewing, and rediscovering, just resign from your current job altogether. You'll feel more free if you leave all shackles behind and see where the world takes you.
How can I convince my boyfriend to get rid of his awful old bomb of a car? I am embarrassed whenever he drives us anywhere - Auto Embarrassment, Wellington
Photo / iStock
If you're so embarrassed to ride with him, the best option is to buy him a new car! But I suspect that's not the answer you're looking for.
While something like a creaky, backfiring bomb of a car is certainly no relationship deal breaker, it certainly takes a lot of the romance out of dates. Nothing makes you feel less ready for a Black Tie event like being picked up by an old Honda with its bumper hanging off.
It's highly likely your boyfriend knows his car is a crapper, so don't feel you need to reinforce that fact. Anybody driving around in a rusty old hatchback with no hubcaps is well aware of what they're driving.
To them, their car is probably a "get me from A-to-B" necessity, not something they care about. Your boyfriend likely holds on to this car for one of three reasons: a) it does the job fine as it is, b) he can't afford a new one, or c) he simply doesn't have cars on his materialistic priority list.
None of these obstacles are going to work in your favour. Your only real hope is taking him to a few car yards and auctions and seeing if anything piques his interest, then encouraging him to do a trade-in (unless he really can't afford it; that's bad partner 101).
If he resists, unfortunately you're just going to have to wait for the old bomb to start failing its WOFs and become un-economical to keep. If the car really is that awful and your boyfriend really doesn't care about cars (and their upkeep), this shouldn't be too far in the future.
Do men still have to pay for dinner on first dates? - Woman Wondering, Auckland
Photo / iStock
This is one of the conundrums modern society now faces as gender equality gradually gains traction. In this new world, all bets should be off with regards to who picks up the tab on a first date.
As per the best modern etiquette, the person who first courted, expressed initial interest, and actually asked the other person out on the date is the person who should pay the first time around. Whether you're male or female, if you initiated the date, it's your duty to follow through right to the end.
If the other person asks to split it, refuse and be firm that you were the one "doing the chasing", so you want to pay for the meal. Then, in a genius segue into seeing your new love interest again, say, "How about you get it on our second date?"
Hopefully that will cue a smirk, a goodbye kiss, and a flurry of texts over the subsequent days until you meet again.
