Call noise control if you have extremely loud neighbours. Photo / iStock
Call noise control if you have extremely loud neighbours. Photo / iStock
Opinion
How do I deal with my neighbours that have parties and play loud music all the time? - Neighbour Nuisances, Wellington.
The obvious option is Noise Control. Operated by your city council, Noise Control can be called at any time of the day or night when excessive noise is upsetting the peace of others. It usually takes between 30 minutes and an hour for an officer to attend to a complaint, and your neighbour will then be served with a warning to reduce the noise.
The next stages vary council-to-council, however most Noise Control departments can confiscate stereos upon a second complaint, enforce 72 hour "quiet" periods, and for repeat offenders some councils even give out fines of up to $10,000.
However, calling Noise Control isn't your only option, and in fact, it's not even your best option.
Befriending your neighbours is often the best way to go. I've lived in apartment buildings with loud neighbours in central Auckland before, and simply creating a cordial relationship with them (e.g. saying hi when you see them in the hall or street, going over to borrow a screwdriver, etc.) has been the best foundation for dealing with noise issues when they do arise.
See, when you befriend your neighbours it's easy enough to go over and knock on their door when they're making too much noise. If you've already proven yourself a nice person, they will be more inclined to comply with your request than if you're just an angry neighbour they don't know.
If you have a good relationship with your neighbours, they might also be more aware of your proximity, and more sensitive to the fact that others are in earshot of their parties and loud music, and may make an effort to be more courteous.
If that is not an option or your neighbours simply aren't the kind of people that you're comfortable befriending, take the Noise Control route and get relentless with your calls until your neighbours get the message. Nobody should have to live next door to a 24/7 university flat.
My friend is dating a woman who is lying about her job and her past. How can I let him know without him being completely gutted? - Cautious Confidante, Auckland.
How do I let a friend know he is dating a liar? Photo / iStock
It's always a tough call deciding when to interfere in a friend's relationship, because it often comes across as just that. Interference.
I can only assume your knowledge of this woman is from a third party source. Have you considered this might not be reliable? Rumours are usually only vaguely related to the truth and are notoriously overblown.
That being said, let's say this woman is indeed lying about her past. Don't sit down with your friend and have a heart-to-heart on your third-party information. It won't go down well. Not only will your friend end up confused, he might also kill the messenger, so to speak.
Instead, help him become inquisitive about the woman he's dating on his own, so he can find out about her by himself. Ask him questions about her that you know will set off alarm bells in his head. Where did she go to university? What led her to her current job? What are her workmates like?
If he doesn't know the answers, or the answers don't make sense, probe further and instil a little doubt into his mind. He should hopefully then go to his girlfriend with these questions and her web of lies will start to unfurl.
Unfortunately you probably can't prevent your friend from being completely gutted when he finds out. People have to come to their own conclusions when it comes to crappy dating experiences.
Do take some consolation in knowing that this woman's downfall is inevitable. Nobody can keep up any form of prolonged lying forever. Whether you help along the process or not, the cracks will eventually start to show.
I want to delete Facebook. Will I be cut off from my social life? - Social Media Suicide, Auckland
Should I delete my Facebook? Photo / File
Coming from somebody who has deleted Facebook more than once, I can tell you the only people you'll lose contact with is overseas friends. While there are many apps and social networks to keep in touch with them, Facebook has always remained the easiest and you'll have a lot less passive contact with them.
As long as you're okay with that, your social life shouldn't suffer. You'll always stay in text with your day-to-day friends, and others you'll just have to make the effort to reach out to through other web-connected media, or of course the phone.
One day you'll probably come back to Facebook, but a significant break will likely do you a lot of good. You'll feel more present, have more contact with the people you really care about, and will remember what it's like not to suffer others' rants and raves in real time.
