After battling an eating disorder, Michelle Kapeteni has finally embraced her curves. Photo / Woman's Day
After battling an eating disorder, Michelle Kapeteni has finally embraced her curves. Photo / Woman's Day
Warning: Topics include eating disorders
When Michelle Kapeteni celebrated her 32nd birthday in November, she did it the best way she could imagine.
Surrounded by inspiring women of all shapes and sizes, the Auckland support care worker rocked form-fitting activewear in front of a camera as a professional plus-size model. For the first time in her life, Kapeteni proudly embraced her size 24 curves, following years of low self-esteem and starving herself.
“When I was younger, I wanted to be a model after watchingAmerica’s Next Top Model on TV and I’d practise all the things Tyra Banks, the host, told the models to do,” laughs Kapeteni, who is proud to represent Auckland talent agency Belle Models as a plus-size Tongan and Māori woman.
“But I wanted to be that size zero they were pushing in the media. Back then, there weren’t really plus-size models and I grew up being big, so I thought I’d have to be skinny to get where I wanted.”
Despite living on portioned meals from food bank packages given to her single mother Seneti Greer, Kapeteni carried extra weight throughout primary school. By the time she reached high school, she was wearing a size 2XL and, sick of being taunted for her weight, she started to starve herself.
When Michelle Kapeteni was younger, she wanted to be a model after watching America’s Next Top Model on TV. Photo / Woman's Day
“During the school holidays between third and fourth form, I went down to a size 10 by not eating and going to the gym,” recalls Kapeteni. “I started skipping dinner and as I got used to it, I wanted to lose more weight, so I cut out more food.”
When her school uniform started hanging off her and had to be taken in by her mum, Kapeteni convinced her family she was losing weight healthily by eating smaller portions and exercising.
“When I got back to school, everyone said how good I looked and I thought, ‘Okay, I’m on my way to becoming a model’,” she shares. “You could see my collarbone and my jawline, and to me that meant I was doing a good job,” recalls Kapeteni, who is completing a diploma in health and wellbeing.
“I’d go to the gym, wouldn’t eat at all and just drink water. It got to the point I hated food. When my mum made me meals, I’d chuck them in the rubbish after she walked away.”
But when her mother noticed Kapeteni had thrown out an expensive breakfast one morning, six months into her food restriction, the teen got in trouble. As she was lectured about food waste and was told her eating would be monitored, Kapeteni felt angry.
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“It was hard for my family to understand since I was the only one who was overweight before I started to starve myself,” she says. “My mum and sisters are small, and I got the overweight genes from my dad’s side as they’re bigger people, so I wanted to fit in as well.
“My mum started making me eat in front of them, but I’d just have small amounts and then try to do exercises before bed so I didn’t put on weight.”
When her mother left New Zealand to work in the US as a caregiver, Kapeteni lived with an aunt. During that time, at 17, she met a partner and an emotionally abusive relationship unfolded, which caused her to overeat and gain all the weight back.
Michelle Kapeteni felt her family did not understand as she was the only one who was overweight before she started to starve herself. Photo / Woman's Day
“After six years, I finally left him and started starving myself again, only eating breakfast and having green tea, then water for the rest of the day,” says Kapeteni. “I got down to a size 18, but slowly I started to accept I’m just bigger. I decided I wanted to work on my mental health more than anything.”
She focused on studying and her work in support care with the elderly, while nannying on the side, pouring herself into caring for others. Kapeteni also started following social media pages that promoted beautiful plus-size women, including Belle Models.
“As it came up to my birthday, I decided I wanted to do something special for myself,” says Kapeteni. “Then I saw a call for a size 28 model and I figured the opportunity wouldn’t come again, so I sent my photos. It was for a brand I really love, Hine Collection, so when they asked if I was free, I was so excited. Although I have social anxiety and was shy, I did it and it was really fun.”
When she was offered the opportunity to model, Michelle Kapeteni leaped at it. Photo / Woman's Day
When Kapeteni saw the images on the brand’s website, the camera-loving beauty was proud. Not long after, she was ecstatic when Bendon Lingerie reached out to collaborate for a social media campaign.
“My family has been so supportive because they know I’ve had a hard journey and my mum is so proud,” says Kapeteni through tears. “I’ve received messages from women saying they’re proud to see representation of their size, which makes me happy. I want young girls to know they can be themselves and dress how they want, without starving their bodies.”
If you or someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, phone 0800 2 EDANZ or visit ed.org.nz.
