"The narrative with Kate – which didn't happen – was really, really difficult and something that I think, that's when everything changed, really," Meghan said.
"And I don't say that to be disparaging to anyone, because it was a really hard week of the wedding, and she was upset about something, but she owned it, and she apologised, and she brought me flowers and a note apologising and she did what I would do if I knew that I hurt someone. To just take accountability for it."
Meghan said she was then shocked that six or seven months after her wedding, "the reverse of that would be out in the world".
"I would've never wanted that to come out about her ever, even though it had happened. I protected that from ever being out in the world," she told Oprah.
"A few days before the wedding, she was upset about something pertaining – yes, the issue was correct, about flower girl dresses, and it made me cry and it really hurt my feelings, and I thought in the context of everything else that was going on in those days leading to the wedding that it didn't make sense to not be just doing what everyone else was doing, which was try to be supportive, knowing what was going on with my dad and whatnot."
The "issue" with the flower girl dresses, a source told Tatler last year, stemmed from "whether the bridesmaids should wear tights or not... Kate, following protocol, felt that they should. Meghan didn't want them to."
While Meghan said she'd "forgiven" Kate, sources told The Times that she "slammed the door in Kate's face" when the Duchess of Cambridge took a bunch of flowers to Nottingham Cottage the following day to apologise.
Two women 'never became close'
Before the big Oprah interview, royal reporters Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand wrote in their 2020 Sussex biography Finding Freedom that while Meghan and Kate were not feuding, they never became close.
"Meghan would agree with the assessment that the duchesses were not the best of friends," they wrote.
"Their relationship hadn't progressed much since she was Harry's girlfriend."
The biography also claimed that Kate didn't put much effort into becoming close with her new sister-in-law, with a source telling the two reporters the Duchess of Cambridge felt they didn't have much in common "other than the fact that they lived at Kensington Palace".
Kate also supposedly didn't give Meghan the level of emotional support she wanted or needed, sending her flowers for her birthday one year when "Meghan would far rather have had Kate check in on her during the most difficult time with the press".
Asked by Oprah yesterday if the photos of Meghan and Kate at Wimbledon was "what it looked like" (Kate "helping you, embracing you into the family, helping you adjust"), Meghan sidestepped the question.
"I think everyone welcomed me," she responded vaguely. "And yeah I know you say, 'Was it what it looked like?' My understanding and my experience over the past four years is that it's nothing like what it looks like."
Comparisons in the media
Meghan also noted the incessant comparisons between the two women in the British tabloids, saying: "So much of what I have seen play out was this idea of polarity.
"Where if you love me, you don't have to hate her and if you love her, you don't need to hate me."
She told Oprah she didn't know why there was, in the host's words, "a standard for Kate" and a different one for her.
"I can see now what layers were at play there, and again, they really seem to want a narrative of a hero and a villain," Meghan said, before saying in an outtakes clip that her treatment in the press was "very different" to her sister-in-law's.
"If they can compare the experience of what I went through with similar of what has been shared with us… Kate was called 'Waity Katie', waiting to marry William. While I imagine that was really hard – and I do, I can't picture what that felt like – this is not the same.
"And if a member of his family will comfortably say, 'We've all had to deal with some things that are rude', rude and racist are not the same."
'Jealousy' over Pacific tour
During the explosive interview, Harry implied that his family's attitude towards Meghan changed significantly after their hugely successful tour of Australia, New Zealand, Tonga and Fiji in October 2018, with them envious of Meghan's popularity.
Oprah told the couple the 16-day tour reminded her of The Crown – particularly the episode that portrayed Princess Diana and Prince Charles on tour, and the future monarch seething at his wife's positive reception.
Harry told Oprah the visit highlighted that Meghan was "one of the greatest assets" the royals could have wished for – but suggested it led to issues for other members of the family.
"It was the first time the family got to see how incredible she was at the job. And that brought back memories," he said.
• CBS presents Oprah with Meghan and Harry will broadcast Tuesday, March 9 at 7:30pm on Three.
