Jessica Mulroney has opened up about life after her racism scandal. Photo / Getty Images
Jessica Mulroney watched her best friend Meghan Markle marry Prince Harry at St George's Chapel in England in 2018.
Her twin sons Brian and John carried Meghan's train down the aisle and her daughter Ivy was one of the bridesmaids in the ceremony that played out in front of an audience of over 29 million people worldwide.
But the Canadian stylist's career was effectively cancelled and she became "suicidal" after being labelled a racist on Instagram by influencer Sasha Exeter in June this year.
Days later, Mulroney lost her Good Morning America gig and Canadian network CTV axed her show I do, Redo. She was forced to step down from charity roles.
Finally opening up about the situation, Mulroney told the New York Post she "still feels a lot of shame".
"I feel that people believe the worst in me," she said.
Her friends revealed that she was put on heavy antidepressants. A source close to Mulroney said, "Jessica has always been very open about dealing with anxiety since she was 12, but the anxiety turned into severe depression and suicidal thoughts."
Her mother had to come look after her, the source revealed, saying, "Jess couldn't talk without crying. She didn't feel like herself on the meds and she didn't want to talk to anyone. She could barely respond to a text message."
And her husband Ben, who quit his TV presenting job, told a friend, "I would wake up and Jess wouldn't be in bed, and my mind would go to the worst."
Mulroney used to live a gilded life with Ben, the former Canadian PM's son, with friends such as Meghan and the current prime minister Justin Trudeau, her Instagram filled with snaps from glamorous girls' trips with the former Suits actress.
In June this year, Sasha Exeter shared an 11-minute video to Instagram alleging that Mulroney had threatened her on the platform after Exeter asked her followers to speak in support of the Black Lives Matter movement when protests began in the US.
Exeter claimed Mulroney "took offence" and believed the call to action was aimed at her. According to Exeter, Mulroney then sent her "offensive messages" as well as a threat that she had spoken to companies working with Exeter.
She called Mulroney's behaviour "a threat to my livelihood" as well as "an attempt to silence a black woman during this movement behind closed doors".
Mulroney was quick to share a public apology, saying, "I need to acknowledge and understand (Exeter's experience). I am unequivocally sorry for not doing that with you, and for any hurt I caused. As I told you privately, I have lived a very public and personal experience with my closest friend where race was front and centre."
She told the New York Post she had been speaking to Exeter for two weeks before the drama became public.
"Sasha wrote to me directly and said 'shaking my head,' and I said 'Why are you shaking your head?' " Mulroney said.
"She accused me of ignoring what was going on in the world (by posting non-BLM content)."
But Mulroney told Exeter she was contractually obliged to post about I Do, Redo's season finale.
She added, "It's not like I have never spoken out about racism before, especially when it comes to Meghan."
But days later the drama broke out when Exeter posted her video. Every company working with Mulroney dropped her without launching investigations first, she told the Post.
"I had a hard time dealing with the fact that a network like CTV (and) the companies I've worked with for many years — and journalists, some of which were my friends — spoke with incredible authority on what they believed had happened without even contacting me. I think that hurt the most."
And even her husband's on-air colleague Elaine Lui accused Mulroney of using Meghan as her "superpower".
But Mulroney has always denied this. "CTV would ask me to go on shows and talk about Meghan; I refused. I don't call that a superpower. I call it protecting my friend."
When asked if Meghan had been in contact with her, Mulroney replied, "She constantly FaceTimes and checks up on me."