After separating for two years, the star couple have rediscovered true bliss. Photo / Michelle Hyslop
After separating for two years, the star couple have rediscovered true bliss. Photo / Michelle Hyslop
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The Alatini family’s laughter is infectious. You can hear the “tribe of five” coming long before you can see them.
The good-natured banter between TrueBliss singer Megan, former All Blacks midfielder Pita and their kids, Tonica, 27, Tiara, 19, and Trey, 17, instantly brings some sunshine to the unseasonably overcast day of our photoshoot.
But it hasn’t always been this picture-perfect for the whānau. Just before Christmas 2020 – two decades after the pop princess married the sports star in a wedding that saw them dubbed Aotearoa’s answer to Posh and Becks – high-school sweethearts Megan and Pita quietly separated.
It’s only now the couple have happily reunited, in a move they both admit is “still evolving”, that they are ready to share their story. They both hope it might help other empty nesters in a similar situation.
The pair are relishing their second chance at love. Photo / Michelle Hyslop
“This was a massive change for us,” Megan, 46, explains to Woman’s Day.
“But we both felt the disconnect at the time and we’d both made some questionable decisions. We’d always said we’d never remain married just because we have children. It had to be about genuine love and affection for each other.
“Whether we were going to get back together or not wasn’t really the goal – it was about being true to ourselves first and foremost. Rediscovering our respect for each other was what we were focused on.”
Ironically, their separation came when Pita, also 46, was at his strongest and most motivated after years of struggling with alcohol abuse, which began as a young professional rugby player. Following a stint on reality TV show Match Fit, alongside other All Blacks legends such as Piri Weepu and Frank Bunce, the Tongan-born sportsman had learned to rewire his problem drinking through exercise and talking with his fellow contestants.
But while Pita thrived with his sporty support network and was relishing his new job at The Cause Collective, a South Auckland charity focused on social problems facing the Pasifika community, Megan was now the one struggling.
The high-school sweethearts wed in February 2000. Photo / Supplied
The South African-born star tears up as she recalls, “For many years, I had been the one holding Pita up and holding the family together. I woke up one day thinking, ‘Who am I? Who and what are we?’ I realised I really didn’t know and it was time to find myself again.
“I was totally lost. I don’t know if it was menopause or empty-nest syndrome. It was like I may have been going through an emotional midlife crisis.”
It wasn’t the first time the couple had been forced to start afresh. In 2012, Pita quit his lucrative rugby gig in Japan after eight years so the family could relocate to Auckland to be closer to Tonica, then 16, who had chosen to complete high school back home.
“We had a fun but financially irresponsible lifestyle in Japan,” confesses Megan.
“When we came back, we had no savings and no jobs.”
She immediately went into “head down, bum up” mode, working as a flight attendant for Air New Zealand to make ends meet. Megan was quickly promoted within the company, but Pita struggled to find his direction.
When the pandemic was in full swing, their kids were nearly grown up and they were living separate lives. Pita remained at their family home in South Auckland with Tiara and Trey, while Megan was working in the city as a performance coach for the airline.
Kids (from left) Tiara, Tonica and Trey love having Mum back home. Photo / Michelle Hyslop
Usually a sociable extrovert, Megan became anxious about keeping her job as the travel industry suffered huge losses and she retreated from her circle of girlfriends.
She explains, “I only shared the deep truths with some of my dearest family and friends further down the track as I was still coming to grips with it all myself. I definitely could have dealt with that better, but there’s no how-to guide.
“There are certain things in our lives that we just should not tackle on our own, even though we may feel we can. There’s no shame in reaching out for love and support.”
Megan beams with pride recalling how her former TrueBliss bandmates – still a tight-knit unit two decades after they were propelled from obscurity to overnight stardom – were “incredible” as soon as they sensed she was struggling.
Megan's TrueBliss friends came to her rescue. Photo / Michelle Hyslop
“One day, they said, ‘We’re gonna go on a roadie!’ Oh, my gosh, we went vineyard-hopping in Hawke’s Bay and saw Sol3 Mio in concert – it was proper, quality girly time. They were just present and not in judgment, and that was absolutely wonderful.”
Pita continued to find strength and support in the same structure that had helped him address his alcohol issues, as well as experimenting with breathwork, an active form of meditation. He also threw himself into supporting son Trey’s school rugby. He proudly describes how the teen, who just finished his final year at prestigious King’s College, has now set his sights on pursuing the sport at university in Japan.
“I looked after the kids because that’s what Megan had done the whole way through,” he says, eyes welling up and his voice wavering.
“I realised then that Megan had brought a lot to the relationship. She had left a huge hole in our family, and I needed to step into it and fill it. But it was more than just being a great father – it was also about being a great husband, a great friend, a great lover …”
Starring in Three's Match Fit changes Pita's life. Photo / Supplied
While the pair admit they both dated other people during their separation, they quickly realised it wasn’t for them. For Megan, a brief relationship only made her appreciate her husband more.
“It made me grateful for this man,” she smiles, gesturing at Pita. “He is kind, gentle, supportive and loving – a wonderful father who uplifts me as a person. That put me on a pathway of thinking, ‘This is what you have. Don’t f*** it up!’ ”
Likewise, Pita came to the realisation that “the grass is definitely not always greener”. Crucially, despite allowing Megan space, Pita ensured the family regularly met up throughout their separation for monthly “soul food” sit-down dinners and games nights, which only served to highlight each other’s strengths.
Of slowly rekindling that flame between them, Pita tells, “I didn’t used to be big into romance, but now I work hard to make sure Megs knows I love her – whether it’s just a cuddle when we’re watching TV together or an unexpected bunch of flowers. I send regular texts to say, ‘I love you’, and, ‘Thank you’, to let her know how appreciated she is.”
Grinning, Megan adds, “For women, my advice would be to take a little step back to allow the man to take more ownership in parenting. And for men, it’s to really know who you are, but also what makes your woman tick and what her love languages are.
“Quality time and intimacy were the two things that were lacking from our relationship.”
"I definitely saw her sparkle come back," says Pita. Photo / Michelle Hyslop
Much to their surprise, during a recent camping trip to Ruakākā, city slickers Megan and Pita both discovered that they love being in nature and sleeping under the stars.
“Looking back, we never really spent enough quality time together with just the two of us,” shares Megan. “If Pete was away, there were always the kids to keep me company and busy. But when they suddenly weren’t, we didn’t readjust. We didn’t change along with the new dynamic in our old relationship – and now we have!”
That said, their kids are still undoubtedly their pride and joy. Their talented eldest daughter Tonica, who styled our shoot, is back from living in Dubai and now works in town as a media account manager, while bubbly, wise-beyond-her-years Tiara is a senior administrator and an aspiring musician, and easy-going jokester Trey’s a budding rugby star. The apples haven’t fallen far from the tree.
“Our parents are awesome,” smiles Tiara. “They both had really cool jobs and they’ve been an inspiration. Mum always taught us to do things with purpose – not just because it was what the crowd was doing. And Dad taught us to be open and honest.
“It’s so good having them back together. We’ve been calling their separation ‘The Come Up Season’. We go through what we go through, but at the end of the day, you have to get up and carry on.”
Going forward as empty nesters, the couple will focus on their relationship. Photo / Michelle Hyslop
The reunion is still pretty fresh, with Megan – who recently started a “big-girl, grown-up corporate job” as a senior HR and recruitment consultant for an accounting and business advisory organisation – moving back into the family home a few months ago, much to everyone’s delight.
“I definitely saw her sparkle come back,” smiles Pita. “But it’s not always easy and there have been times that I wasn’t sure if we would ever get back together.
“My advice to people in similar situations is, if there’s a shimmering light of hope for you to reconnect as a couple, hold on to it and throw everything you can at it, like we did. Even if it doesn’t work and you do part ways, it can help you find peace. In our case, I’m glad we’ve found a way back.”
