Mecca, Auckland Central

The salt and pepper squid with lemon mayo. Picture / Martin Sykes

Herald rating: * *


Such slaves are we hacks to our phones, computers and deadlines, that the notion of going out for a civilised lunch is like going to a parallel universe. Other people do it; we don't. However, lunch can be justified when it's presented as a working gig — a restaurant reviewing kind of lunch. So it was with rare pleasure in our hearts that we skipped out into a wintry CBD, and headed into the hub of The Chancery, and Mecca.

There is one Mecca for followers of Islam; there are 10 Mecca cafes in Auckland, and more further afield. The culinary Mecca has swelled into a franchise, and it shows.

A not particularly welcoming waitperson showed us to a table outside, thankfully beneath an outdoor heater. And then the silliness began. Our young waitress, clutching one of those little hand-held palm pilots that have replaced the handwritten method of taking orders, appeared to have a fleeting acquaintance with the menu. She had no idea of the soup of the day (pumpkin and coriander) and she was unable to offer any advice on the wine list. She took our orders for two glasses of wine — a Gibbston Rose and a Plantaganet Omrah Shiraz. A little while later, she returned to take the orders again.

"Well, the food had better be bloody good," we muttered, as we passed on entree-type nibbles such as garlic bread or turkish bread and dips in favour of mains.

Despite the name, Mecca doesn't provide a strictly Middle Eastern cuisine, with offerings such as an open steak sandwich with beetroot relish, cajun chicken with bacon on foccacia, chicken lasagne, fish and chips, and lamb shank.

But because it was chilly, in more ways than one, we asked our computer-punching gal for barbecued lamb kebabs — "thyme marinated" with bulghar pilaf and some nonsense titled shepherd's salad; hungarian beef goulash, on rice; and crispy salt and pepper squid, with lemon mayonnaise.

Then we waited. Half an hour later, we asked if our meals were imminent. Apparently not. According to our waitperson, who clearly needed help from the other waitstaff just standing around, there'd been a muck-up with the computer system and our orders had not been transmitted to the kitchen. Would we care to order again? Only because we were desperate, and only if we got prompt delivery. Five minutes later, a waitperson we had not met, handed me a plate with the kebabs. I had to place my own meal on the table. Thankfully for my hands, the plate was stone cold. So were the other two plates.

Fran, who'd ordered the goulash, found it was hot on the surface but cool beyond that. We suspected a short relationship with the microwave. In a bowl on top of the rice, the goulash was bland, and quickly became a mish-mash of meat'n'rice. My lamb was lukewarm, chewy and did not appear to have a long acquaintance with the marinade. But Pat enjoyed her spicy squid.

We did have our eyes on dessert, partly because we were still hungry. We made our choices — chocolate mud cake, berry crumble, ginger pudding — but no one came to take the order. No one. And we had run out of patience, goodwill and time. Computers will never replace good service, although as we left, one of the nicer waiters we'd encountered there apologised profusely. That's fine — but he shouldn't have had the need.

WHERE: Mecca Chancery, Bacon's Lane, The Chancery (09) 356 7028

OUR MEAL: $76.50, for three mains, two glasses of wine, one tomato juice. We would have paid more if we'd been able to order dessert.

OUR WINES: By the glass, $8-$10; by the bottle, $35-$78 


* Read more about what's happening in the world of food, wine, party places and entertainment in canvas magazine, part of your Weekend Herald print edition.