Things started to go wrong on the new Harry Potter ride at Universal Studios Hollywood. What a park. Dinosaurs spit on you, Hogwarts paintings talk to you and Vin Diesel tells you he loves you. Each attraction comes with a long and boring list of warnings. You can't board the attraction if you have back problems, heart problems, neck problems, emotional problems, seasickness, nausea, if you're easily frightened or scared of heights, speed, artificial mist or water. Also, no one too old, fat, smelly or short.
Being the judgmental type, I always thought those warnings were for pathetic, weak people. What kind of no-hope wuss can't handle a rollercoaster? Me, as it turns out.
Riding with your kids is joyful and terrifying. Harry Potter's The Forbidden Journey becomes ten times more frightening when you're concerned your beloved little child will be smashed to pieces on the virtual side of the Quidditch arena. This was especially true on our fourth ride when our broomstick car stopped short, leaving me and my son hanging face-down in the middle of the ride. The 3D images disappeared, a warning message played and I nearly spewed on a robotic Dementor. It got as far as my mouth. But I held it in. My partner reckons three days in Vegas beforehand may have been involved but I doubt it. I think it was more about my strong parental instincts. Anyway, things started up again no harm done and I didn't throw up there. That would happen at the happiest place on earth.
Universal studios is great, but Disneyland is magical. Go to the nightly World of Colour display. It's Disney's history projected on flying water at The Paradise Pier in California Adventure Land. The message of peace, love and happiness is so strong, by the end you're saluting and chanting "Disney, Disney, Disney!" You'd shoot someone in the face for not following their dreams if host Neil Patrick Harris told you to. It's so indoctrinating I took my Universal Studios cap off for the walk home: I thought I might get assaulted.
