Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth split after marrying in 2018. Photo / AP
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth split after marrying in 2018. Photo / AP
Opinion
OPINION:
Miley Cyrus has just released her new break-up anthem, Flowers, and the song confirms the “hero” guy is out.
Cyrus dropped the song on her ex-husband Liam Hemsworth’s birthday and, sadly for the youngest Hemsworth, it is a certified banger.
In it, she points out a particular kind of man that women don’t want to date anymore.
We’ve all heard of the “soft boy” and the “f-boy”, but there is also the hero guy. The hero guy is the man who swoops in and saves the day. The man who wants to rescue you! The one who insists he wants to make your life easier and is constantly trying to clean up the messes you make.
Nice in theory, really bloody annoying in reality, and clearly, Cyrus is fed-up with that kind of man.
Clinical psychotherapist Julie Sweet can see that women no longer want to date the kind of man that wants to save them.
“I see female clients nowadays moving away from wanting to be rescued. Instead find they are wanting interdependence when it comes to intimate partnerships,” Sweet said.
“The shift towards interdependence is not only healthy, but it’s also a wonderful transition that creates balance and mutuality in relationships.”
Get it? Women are ready to buy their own flowers and take themselves dancing! Miley was on the money.
So, Sweet thinks the trope of the hero guy coming in to save the day is slowly losing its appeal in the modern dating world.
“I think the ideal construct of being saved by a man, for women, is being broken down now, and this benefits both women and men. I feel many women are developing and growing, intensely in recent times, doing the work and facing themselves,” she explained.
In Flowers, she sings: “I can buy myself flowers. I can write my name in the sand, talk to myself for hours, say things you don’t understand. I can take myself dancing, and I can hold my own hand. Yeah, I can love me better than you can.”
Cyrus could not be any clearer if she tried. She doesn’t need a man. However, she probably felt like she did need one when she got together with Hemsworth a decade ago. So why?
Well, our pop culture, of course. Cyrus grew up in the Twilight era. Remember that book? It sold 160 million copies worldwide and became the love bible for teenagers.
Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson in Twilight. Photo / Supplied
It’s about a vampire who falls in love with a beautiful human girl, Bella, and he spends his whole life saving her from danger while ironically being a danger to her.
The book had a life of its own, and considering how popular it was there’s no denying that it had a huge impact. Pair that with the fact that every romantic comedy of the early 2000s featured a man saving a woman, and you have a recipe for the hero guy to seem very appealing.
Who can forget Bridget Jones? She was a complete mess but ultimately she wins over the very together Mark Darcy and somehow their romance is meant to send the message that their relationship means she will now be fine.
Renee Zellweger as disastrous Bridget Jones. Photo / Supplied
When you look at Cyrus’ relationship with Hemsworth it is easy to see how he could have played the hero role in that relationship. She was the wild child; he was the handsome Australian. Their dynamic always seemed to be that he was the calm to her storm but you know what? Sometimes you just need to let it pour. Since their break-up Cyrus has been enjoying career highs and seems to have really come into her own.
Cyrus’s break-up anthem is just fabulous proof that finally, we are over the romantic trope of wanting men to save us, because, you know what? Women can buy themselves flowers, save themselves and look stunning doing it.
