Actor George Clooney embraces ageing, but that's easy for a man this handsome.
Photo / Getty
Actor George Clooney embraces ageing, but that's easy for a man this handsome.
Photo / Getty
Opinion
Hollywood heart-throb George Clooney offered hope to millions of middle-aged mortals this week when he declared that the best way for a man to age is not to fight the ageing process, but to embrace it.
"I think for all of us, you have to come to terms with getting older and not try to fight it," he said on BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour.
"I'm a big believer in the idea that you can't try to look younger. You just have to look the best you can at the age you are and not worry about it."
Clooney, 54, also denied he had ever been tempted to go under the surgeon's knife, or dye his trademark grey hair.
"For me, it's never been an issue or an option," he said.
"I don't think it would make much sense, quite honestly. I've seen it happen and particularly on men I don't think it really works. I think it actually makes you look older."
Of course, all of this is easy for genetically-blessed Clooney to say. Last year, the 54-year-old sex machine saw off Johnny Depp and Daniel Craig to be voted the world's top Man Ageing Gracefully.
Which is fine if, like Clooney, you mature like a fine wine. But what if, like the rest of us, you mature more like a ripe cheese? Unlike George, we might think about cheating. But what can - or should - an ageing man do to turn back the clock?
The easiest thing to remedy is grey hair - and, at $10 off eBay, Just For Men Auto Stop is a favourite quick-fix for heads and, increasingly, beards, too. According to the company's research, one in seven British men has considered having a go at colouring his grey hairs.
The Brits, me included, dabbled with beard dye after David Beckham was outed last June when he returned from his Into The Unknown motorcycle trip to deepest Amazon sporting salt-and-pepper stubble, only for it to be dyed a rich chestnut hue the day after he got back to civilisation.
Is David Beckham dying his beard?
Photo / Getty
When dyeing, the trick is - and I speak from experience - not to go for jet-black, even if you have dark hair. You'll end up looking like Dr Spock. Go for the lightest shade you can, and leave it in for just a few minutes: you only want to soften your grey, not attempt cover it. And never be tempted to dye your eyebrows, as I once did. It prompted my five-year-old son to say: "Daddy, you look weird." Remember: kids say what they see, adults lie and mock you behind your back.
What about plastic surgery? I don't know about you, but the first thing I think when a celebrity says "never get plastic surgery" is "they've recently had plastic surgery". It stinks of a classic double-bluff.
Except when Clooney says it. When asked in 2013 if he'd had his eyes done, Clooney teased a reporter: "I never fixed my eyes, but I spent more money to stretch the skin of my testicles. I did not like the wrinkles. It's a new technique, many people in Hollywood have done it. It's called 'ball ironing'..."
Such is Clooney's power that this off-the-cuff remark sparked a boom (among rich masochists) for the "male laser lift", a procedure that removes hair, erases wrinkles and skin tags and eradicates discoloration from ingrown hairs. Back in the real world, the tide is turning against male plastic surgery procedures. According to the British Association of Aesthetic and Plastic Surgeons, the number of "male procedures" fell 15 per cent last year.
Are men being put off by the surgical mistakes of celebrities and other dabblers? A wealthy friend of mine had his droopy eyelids lifted, and for a month it looked like he'd been electrocuted or had accidentally sat on a large root vegetable.
However, a growing number of non-surgical procedures are aimed at men. I once underwent the MELT, an "electric liposuction" procedure that claims to melt the fat away - from your midriff, love handles, moobs and even your face. During six sessions, over a month, I had my midriff zapped by radio and magnetic waves, ultra-sound and light beams - and lost two inches off my waist. But I was also following a diet and exercise plan, so my inner cynic tells me it was healthy living, rather than hi-tech probing, that did the trick.
A good smile can take years off, and teeth whitening is cheap and easy. Over-the-counter kits are available for around a tenner, although the ill-fitting rubber tray you wear to apply the stuff can make you drool like a hungry labrador - a look your wife may never forget or forgive.
Then there's the final taboo: male make-up. Yes, it exists: there are even dedicated men-only products from Clinique and Tom Ford. But manscara and guyliner are a touch too much for most men, me included. Instead, I used to pinch the missus's YSL Touche Eclat, an under-eye concealer that hides black bags. I used to buy it for her, just so I could felch it myself. Then after a week, I realised what I was doing was deeply tragic, and stopped.
But maybe George Clooney's anti-regime is best - especially as it's completely free. After all, if doing nothing is good enough for him, surely it's good enough for the rest of us.
